Dilemma

[ice_solid_2k4]

Hello everyone,

 

In January I met her off the net and we clicked right away. I am 19 and she's 18 by the way. I've never had a girlfriend before, so I'm sure I made pretty stupid mistakes, so be easy one me. I get her phone number right away and we talked for hours that same night. A few more nights of talking for hours continued and one day I asked her out. I decided that we would go on a coffee date, but she would cancel one day before. I let that pass by and rescheduled with her a week later and we went on our coffee date.

 

I eventually call her the next day and set up another meeting between us, which would be for ice cream. However, she calls a few days earlier and cancels on me again. Now I am confused why she would cancel on me. Since I'm not that great with women and was really starting out talking to women, I let that pass by again. Now I set up a third meeting between us and she would cancel again. She always had reasons like the first time she cancelled it was because she had to drop her mom off.

 

Second time she cancelled on me because she had to work. The third time she cancelled because she was having family problems, but I really stopped believing her excuses. Well I wanted to just let her know how I felt about her, so I decide to call her and ask her to be honest with me. Well she would not pick my calls and basically ignored me. So I email her and tell her how I felt about her. I end things with her and tell her that she's a waste of my time, etc. That same night she kept on telling me that she's sorry, etc. A few days later, we begin talking to one another again and Valentine's day happens to roll by.

 

Since I've never had a girlfriend before, nor have I ever made a girl priority, wouldn't it be great to kinda hookup on Valentine's day? However, she had to go with her aunt to pick up her mom from the airport. I was fed up and I ignored her for a few days. She would text message me and ask me if I was mad at her, etc. So I call her again and ask her where this is all going. I tell her I'm looking for a serious relationship, but this is not even headed anymore, but circles. Eventually that night, she would apologize over and over again. From that point on, we keep in touch on a regular basis and still talk to one another on a regular basis. She calls me and text messages me from time to time especially at night. One night she mentions that she broke up with her boyfriend, but she tells me this one month later.

 

Out of no where she mentions this, which I found kinda weird. By the way, this was around June of this year. When I flirt with a girl, I tease her kinda like how you would tease a girl back in elementary school. Haha. It's very childish, but she seems to enjoy it. The more I make fun of her, be a jerk, and ignore her, the more she keeps coming back for more. When I be nicer to her, she keeps her distance from me. If I mention other girls I've been dating and if it doesn't work out, she seems to get jealous. She would say things like how it's not meant to be, etc. It's very pathetic. Haha. It's already August and we still continue to talk to one another.

 

She still calls me and messages me often, but I have no idea of what her intentions are. Seems to me she's all about the chase, but I don't know that for sure. This girl drives me crazy in a good and bad way. I want to ask her out again, but I'm afraid that she'll just cancel on me again. I had this girl as my priority and really put my heart on the line before. I really don't want to take a risk like that again, especially on the same girl.

 

What should I do guys? Please give me your opinions.

Edited April 4, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by ice_solid_2k4

Now I am confused why she would cancel on me.

 

She keeps doing this = she's not into you. It's as simple as that.

 

 

She still calls me and messages me often, but I have no idea of what her intentions are.

 

She seems to want you as an online buddy, not as a boyfriend.

 

 

I want to ask her out again, but I'm afraid that she'll just cancel on me again. I had this girl as my priority and really put my heart on the line before. I really don't want to take a risk like that again, especially on the same girl. What should I do guys? Please give me your opinions.

 

Don't make someone a priority if you're not a priority to them.

 

Move on, this girl is just not interested. Not in that way, anyhow. If you want her as an online buddy, fine. To be honest though, I'd dump her as a friend too - she's teaching you all the wrong lessons about women. Find a nicer girl to be your online buddy.

[ice_solid_2k4]

yeah ur advice sounds good

does anyone have any other advice?

[crazy_grl]

It sounds like there's a teeny, tiny, itty bitty chance she might like you, probably not though. Usually when people are interested and have to cancel, they reschedule on their own without waiting for the OP.

 

If she is interested, she's a freakin whack job.

 

I'd bet that she's not interested, but that she's selfish and even though she doesn't want you, she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. That's why you see the jealousy when you talk about other women. She likes the attention you give her, and it feeds her ego. If you found another woman, she'd lose the attention.

 

At this point, I think you should give her only one more chance. Tell her you'd like to date and ask what she thinks about it. If she says no, accept it and maybe even stay friends with her.

 

If she says she'd like to, set up a date. Let her know that if she cancels this time, she'll lose her chance. If she cancels, forget about her, no matter what her excuse. You should drop her as a friend too, because she's not even considerate enough to give you a straight answer, and she's not a very good friend.

 

And if you do drop her and she comes running to you, please don't fall for her game. You've already given her plenty of chances to show she's interested. I only suggested you give her another chance so that you'll know 100% for sure that she's just playing you if that happens. People who behave like she has usually keep trying to reel you back in. Don't let her do it.

[Mary3]

Your vibe you give off could tell her alot of things.

 

One - You have little experience with women .

 

Now how do you get experience ? - by being with a women.

 

This one is not going to be easy.

 

Just keep askying LOTS of girls out .

 

Try NOT to look at everyone as a relationship.

The more dates the better you get.

 

Try asking more out on dates online.

[ice_solid_2k4]

Originally posted by crazy_grl

It sounds like there's a teeny, tiny, itty bitty chance she might like you, probably not though. Usually when people are interested and have to cancel, they reschedule on their own without waiting for the OP.

 

If she is interested, she's a freakin whack job.

 

I'd bet that she's not interested, but that she's selfish and even though she doesn't want you, she doesn't want anyone else to have you either. That's why you see the jealousy when you talk about other women. She likes the attention you give her, and it feeds her ego. If you found another woman, she'd lose the attention.

 

At this point, I think you should give her only one more chance. Tell her you'd like to date and ask what she thinks about it. If she says no, accept it and maybe even stay friends with her.

 

If she says she'd like to, set up a date. Let her know that if she cancels this time, she'll lose her chance. If she cancels, forget about her, no matter what her excuse. You should drop her as a friend too, because she's not even considerate enough to give you a straight answer, and she's not a very good friend.

 

And if you do drop her and she comes running to you, please don't fall for her game. You've already given her plenty of chances to show she's interested. I only suggested you give her another chance so that you'll know 100% for sure that she's just playing you if that happens. People who behave like she has usually keep trying to reel you back in. Don't let her do it.

 

Yeah, she is the jealous type. Whenever I ask about her friends, she always tells me that they are not my type,etc. Anyone have more advice? Thanks everyone!