cominghome Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Good idea or bad? Right off the start? I realized over the course of the last few months that the kind of personality I'm attracted to doesn't typically reside in my city. It's more concentrated in another that's about a 3 hour flight away. Is it a good idea to expand my online search to there? Traveling is easy for me, as my job allows for a kind of flexibility that can let me get way for a weekend pretty much every week. But, for people who have down long distance. Advice, comments? Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 1. Make certain that you and she/he has the resources and time to make this commitment-worthy. 2. Have a plan to communicate regularly if you two decide to commit (or before) 3. Early on, make relationship expectations clear. Will you continue dating others until you two have decided to be exclusive? 4. On that first meet, plan as if you are going on a vacation. Your date may become a disaster and you're stuck moping around instead of enjoying the city 5. Make certain that she has time for you. It would suck to go on a 2-3 hour date and having things worked out, have no further time for each other. 6. If things progress, there has to be a plan for regular visits. Again, go to #1. 7. When things get serious, there needs to be a plan to close the gap 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Only you are both crazy about each other, willing to put in a lot of work, there's no ambiguity and neither of you ever questions this Only then does it stand a chance of working 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 Every relationship I've ever had has been long distance. I have no advice, only questions. Which I shall keep to myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 How in the world do you know this personality is concentrated in some other city? Do you think that you'll just magically find the person of your dreams there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cominghome Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 I spent a lot of time in that city. Also, previous relationships with people from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cominghome Posted May 7, 2017 Author Share Posted May 7, 2017 1. Make certain that you and she/he has the resources and time to make this commitment-worthy. 2. Have a plan to communicate regularly if you two decide to commit (or before) 3. Early on, make relationship expectations clear. Will you continue dating others until you two have decided to be exclusive? 4. On that first meet, plan as if you are going on a vacation. Your date may become a disaster and you're stuck moping around instead of enjoying the city 5. Make certain that she has time for you. It would suck to go on a 2-3 hour date and having things worked out, have no further time for each other. 6. If things progress, there has to be a plan for regular visits. Again, go to #1. 7. When things get serious, there needs to be a plan to close the gap This is ridiculously useful! Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted May 7, 2017 Share Posted May 7, 2017 I spent a lot of time in that city. Also, previous relationships with people from there. It just seems a bizarre notion to me but good luck to you. Is it possible to move there and get the distance problem out of the way? Link to post Share on other sites
Ronnys93 Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 Unless there's someone you already know there that you are interested in dating, I would definitely not go into dating seeking long-distance relationships. They are incredibly difficult and there's lot of obstacles added in the way that make things increasingly harder than they already are in the aspect of dating. However, simpleNfit's list is a great place to start. Just make sure that the person you're trying with is as equally committed to making it work as you are, otherwise it wont work. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 This is ridiculously useful! I hope it helps. This is what I did to successfully establish a relationship with my recent ex, but obviously it didn't work out in the long-term. My ex was/is a very mature and committed person during this time. No flakiness about her. Both sides need to commit and do so openly and consistently, otherwise all kinds of misunderstandings, doubts, etc. slide in. Much more so than dating someone nearby and that is difficult enough. There were times when she would offer (and I took it!) to pay my plane ticket. When she offered, it was because she really wanted to be with me and show me that she was as committed. We could both afford our own way, but it sure was nice. I should also add that you really need to be in tune with her past romantic history to the point that you should be aware that an ex may be in the same city she's in. Not at first, but getting a feeling of where she is in the relationship-ready meter is important. Be patient as you both will have local temptations, so be realistic and communicate and changes in feelings. This will also spare any unnecessary feelings of betrayal, neglect, etc. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2017 Share Posted May 8, 2017 I spent a lot of time in that city. Also, previous relationships with people from there. the past tense verb -- spent as in you used to hang out there -- jumped out at me. I'd move back if the city is all that great. Otherwise this is an exercise in futility. If you can't or won't move there, it's highly unlikely that your new found virtual relationship will want to relocate to you. If you can't be together for real, what's the point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cominghome Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 Thanks, I decided against this idea. I think for now, I will keep it simple. I like my life simple, so it's a bit complicated to add LDR to that. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Thanks, I decided against this idea. I think for now, I will keep it simple. I like my life simple, so it's a bit complicated to add LDR to that. WISE choice, my friend. Wise. Link to post Share on other sites
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