married woman's calling again

[slider95]

I posted here years ago for help with the situation I was in, eventually followed the solid advice I received . But I still have a question ?

 

So my affair with the married woman lasted right at 4 yrs . In the beginning she told me she was getting a divorce , I gave her the benefit of the doubt and went along . In the first year I started asking questions and starting to pressure for her to make a move. Around the same time her husband found out about us , hacked her phone and had pretty much found out , even though she denied it , he even called me once. That didn't stop her we kept on going I helped her get her business going and was lead to believe it was all for our future . Her excuse was she didn't know if she could put her daughter through a divorce yet

, but she said she was going to divorce him , as soon as she felt ready. So I hung in there always being there for her. I don't mean to sound like a pushover because I have omitted a million details trying to be brief. I definitely pushed back over the years .... it was the hardest 4 years of my life . I really just put my foot down about a year and a half ago . I had not seen her since october 2016 until a few weeks ago in april . She has called every month though and I usually don't answer . Recently she started sending me pics of her and her daughter.... WTF? And she calls and then vanishes again. I do believe that she loved me , but why still contact me if you're still married ? I don't bother her at all ... why is she calling ? It took some time to get where I am today with this , but with the recent flurry of activity it has me asking questions.

 

please dont beat up for grammar here , Im not writing a paper here ... Im just trying to figure out what this woman is up to with all this .

oh yes and the calls were her crying saying she wants to divorce him and all that blah blah ..... but then she vanishes and calls again in a few weeks.

[Cali408]

Why don't you block her number or change your number? Because you still love the attention.

 

If you want to really get over her and move on, just ghost her. Poof.

[freengreen]

Tell her once in for eternity that you dont want any of this anymore and then get away with all your contact. Change your phone number etc.

[deadsoul]

I don't agree with ghosting. But you do need to be firm and say, please don't contact me anymore. I will not be replying and I'm blocking you and changing my number.

 

I know it sounds cold, but it's what you need to do so she can move on and so can you.

 

And then do as the others say: block and change your number.

 

Otherwise you are still hanging on and you can't move on.

[FoundMyStrength]

Honestly I think when some of them go back to the marriage, they're going back to something that doesn't make them 100% happy, that doesn't fill the void. And they don't necessarily take the steps to work on that situation with their spouse. So they come back. They call. They email. They text. If you answer, for a brief moment in time, she probably feels special again. Wanted. Loved. And then she goes back to her not quite cutting it life until she needs another ego boost.

 

Just block her. Forget her number. Disappear off of social media. It sounds like you're trying to move on. Don't fall for these desperate attempts to boost her ego. That's all they are.

[spiderowl]

Tell her not to contact you until she is divorced, then she can send you a copy of the divorce paper. Once you receive that, you will talk to her if you haven't been snapped up by someone else in the meantime. She is probably hanging on to her security but hoping you will come back and be a secure branch for her if she does get divorced. You have been there before and she does not get round to it.

[Grammie]

sounds like she is missing your attention. She is sending you messages to get you to respond. If you are done, block her. I don't think you need to change your phone number cause that is a bit extreme. But you can block her or if you want, tell her to leave you alone.