jasong Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 My girlfriend now of 10 months cheated on me recently. We have the perfect relationship. We had no problems until last week. She still lives at home and has some of her ex's stuff at her house. He broke up with her after a year when he went to the army. They were together for 3 years. He broke up with her and they remained friends afterwards sending e-mails back and fourth every once in a while. She went out to get a few things while I was in night class. She called me and said "So and so called and he wants to come get his stuff before he leaves to go back to Korea. Apparently they talked to each other for 2 hours and left with a hug and a kiss on the lips. She told me everything...I thought. Then I found out that he came over the night before he was leaving. She lied to me about it at first, but then confessed. She also confessed to me that she still loves him, but loves me as well. She says that she's confused and doesn't know what to do saying "I f***ed everything up. We were talking about getting engaged and moving in together, prior to Mr. Ex's arrival, now she doesn't know what to do. HELP HELP HELP!!! I love her to death and don't know what to do myself. Link to post Share on other sites
A Fly onThe Wall Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Originally posted by jasong We have the perfect relationship. With all the lies and cheating she has been doing I would think that your relationship is not perfect.. you need to look at what you can live with and what you cannot live with in order to proceed..Living with a cheater is a tough thing to do if you cannot learn to forgive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasong Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 I meant to say "had" the perfect relationship. I still don't know what to do?? It's hard to just leave her, We spent practically every day together. We both enjoy each others company. I found out that he is not going to be back home for another two years. I asked are you really going to wait around for somebody for 2 years and not be even sure if he has the same expectations that you do?He said only time will tell. Does that mean that he doesn't want her? She answered to him and then told me, I can't wait that long for somebody. I don't know. I'm extremely Frusturated and angry. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Hello, You are fortunate that you find this out now. You were talking about engagement and she starts lying to you. She then has sex with her ex and puts your health at risk. She tells you she still loves him. You would have to be out of your mind to stick with her. She has proven to you she strongly loves this guy and has a long history with him. She knew that the both of you were talking about being engaged and has sex with him behind your back anyway. I think you will never be rid of this guy and she will always have feelings for him. I say cut your losses and move on and find someone who can truely love and respect you and find someone you will not have to share her with emotionally and physically. If she could do this while talking about marriage with you then there is no way you could ever trust her period. You have just seen a glimpse of your future. Why would you want this? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Hello again, I just saw your second message. I think it is clear that all things being equal she would pick him. She just does not want to wait two years. My friend you are the doorprize. Don't you think you deserve better than this? Don't be a fool. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 She says that she's confused and doesn't know what to do saying "I f***ed everything up. She did f*ck everything up. What does she want you to say in response to that? If she's confused, then that's all the more reason for you to impose a bit of clarity on the situation. Let her know that you're not confused, that you know what you want...and it isn't her. Goodbye. It might hurt now, but the self respect you preserve through dealing with this situation with decisive finality will serve you well in the future. Spend too long agonising over this, and you'll start getting bitter, depressed and angry. The faster you end it, the faster you'll recover. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasong Posted August 1, 2005 Author Share Posted August 1, 2005 Hey Bryan thanks for all of your help man. BTW she did not engage in any sexual activities with him. She made that very clear to me. But just listening to what you have said....as tough as it may be, I think I am going to move on. God this sucks really bad. Thanks again. Any other opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 She's a whore, leave her. There is no curing her. She loves him and you. She is a selfish piece of ****. She will never change. Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Originally posted by Bryanp Hello again, I just saw your second message. I think it is clear that all things being equal she would pick him. She just does not want to wait two years. My friend you are the doorprize. Don't you think you deserve better than this? Don't be a fool. Sad to say but i have to agree with Bryanp. jasong -> only you and you know how much you can tolerate. Are u willing to accept possibly being 1st runner up? After all, she WAS with Mr Ex before u. True we don't know the circumstances surrounding their break=up etc.. but the fact that he's back in the picture, and that they kissed..WOW. That says alot. The only thing going for you is the fact that he's going away for 2 years. Out of sight, out of mind. But they also says.. absence makes the heart grow fonder. In either case, are u willing to take the chance and hope your gf chooses u over her ex? Personally... i value myself more but then again this isnt abt me -> it's about u. How much do u value urself? U should be the no. 1 prize in her eyes, not the 'next best thing'. K. Link to post Share on other sites
Iluvsiamese Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 So supposing, since she doesn't want to wait the two years, she choses you and you go ahead and get married. What happens two years later when he returns??? Anyone want to place bets? Link to post Share on other sites
Curious00000001 Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 JaSong -- 1) Are you Korean and do you have a brother, Jason and are you attending drexel uni? You wouldn't happen to be my cousin? Sorry if I am way off - I am only asking b/c your nick and the fact that you live in PA. 2) I don't really believe that she is worth your time. I honestly think that she is just keeping you around as an option #2. This sound rather harsh... I know... and I am sorry but let her go because she will break your heart. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasong Posted August 3, 2005 Author Share Posted August 3, 2005 Curious....sorry I am not the person you are looking for. I am a white male that is 21 years old, I attend ITT Technical Institute and am graduating in September. I work for a company by the name of McCutcheon Enterprises, where I am a hazarodus waste technician. By the way all, I did leave her on the account of this: All she needs is a little closure from him, then we can move on with our lives. But if he comes home within a few months, then she is not sure what she wants to do. I simply told her that I was not going to wait around. And that if she wants me back, he better be out of the picture and I am not running back to her. She dug herself into this hole and if she wants me back then she is going to have to come get me, because I am not going to chase after her!!! It hurts really bad inside that someone I trusted would do something like this to me and made that very clear to her. Oh well. Anybody single living in the Apollo Pensylvania are or surrounding towns that is around my age???? Link to post Share on other sites
aares Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 OMGWTF slut. Leave her now. She can have her army brat and f*** him as much as she wants when he returns with a wooden leg. BTW...I live in Harrisburg, PA and I am 20. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jasong Posted August 3, 2005 Author Share Posted August 3, 2005 Sorry aares. I live on the other side of Pennsylvania from you. My town is about 25 miles north of Pittsburgh. Link to post Share on other sites
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