Chilli Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 You are north of SF right? This is the San Mateo County Coast - south of SF on the peninsula. Moved back and spent some years there while still working in San Francisco. I swear, best of both worlds. I could go to a dinner and concert in the City, and come home to my cabin that didn't have TV, or cell phone service, (barely any internet), and the closet neighbor was 90 acres away. But we did have stars, and bob cats, and a melodic stream, and towering redwoods, and wild iris. Yep I miss living in the woods dearly at times. Sounds like a beautiful life with that right person. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 I agree. And I don't know why that is. Since I've been divorced, I have only dated single childless men, even though I would prefer a divorced man with older children. It's just all that I have run into. Her with one kid or no kid would suit me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted May 15, 2017 Author Share Posted May 15, 2017 I know a woman with 5 kids. I can't imagine if she got divorced. I would have a great relationship with her with 5 kids under 20. No way is that going to work. If we are both 55 and 3 out of the 5 kids are out of the house. It would be a different story. I say for me. In order. #1 No kids. #2 1 kid. #3 2 Kids. Thats it. No 2 kids with one guy. 2 kids with another guy. My buddy's ex is like that. She actually has a BF that moved them all in to his house. The guy is about 55 or so. I don't know how he can deal with it. I wonder how he assess her in his mind. Its like she just planned to have this ghetto life. She does not even really want to work as well. She is not a bombshell. She is not ugly either. There is no way I would even explore that type of relationship. She is till young enough to have another kid as well. I don't know why so many guys are so weak when it comes to women, putting them in situations that they would never want at all. For me. She is single and childless or 1-2 kids max with the same bio father. anything really outside of that. good luck. That just from me being 46 at the moment. 60-65 is a different story as if I date close to my age. Her kids will be phasing out of the house. So if she had 4 20 yrs before meeting me at age 60/65. The kids in a household factor won't be an issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 16, 2017 Share Posted May 16, 2017 You are north of SF right? This is the San Mateo County Coast - south of SF on the peninsula. Yep, an hour north. It looks the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I agree. And I don't know why that is. Since I've been divorced, I have only dated single childless men, even though I would prefer a divorced man with older children. It's just all that I have run into. Just wondering , why would you prefer a divorced guy with older children, so there's no pressure to have kids or ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jjgitties Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Never tried it but I think I'd like a single dad ...I love children and not really big on having ones of my own for ethical reasons (though I haven't ruled it out) and the trauma of pregnancy and childbirth: it'd certainly be an advantage to me. I'd get children with none of the downsides. Except the time/priority thing and yea they often don't like you I'm sure lol but I seem to get along great with lil kids Great plan! What if it turns out you find them loud, obnoxious, and annoying and you detest them and they pickup on the vibe and detest you back and you become their favorite babe to hate. :-) The thing about kids is, when they are yours and you had them and raised them from scratch; you love them for all they are (including their idiosyncrasies). But other peoples kids -- now they are all loud, annoying, obnoxious and messed up -- just because they are no your own. There is a reason why couples only resorts exist in the Caribbean. ;-) Edited May 21, 2017 by jjgitties 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Just wondering , why would you prefer a divorced guy with older children, so there's no pressure to have kids or ? Right, I don't want anymore kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Being my bf he's just...hnnngh Amazing Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Great plan! What if it turns out you find them loud, obnoxious, and annoying and you detest them and they pickup on the vibe and detest you back and you become their favorite babe to hate. :-) The thing about kids is, when they are yours and you had them and raised them from scratch; you love them for all they are (including their idiosyncrasies). But other peoples kids -- now they are all loud, annoying, obnoxious and messed up -- just because they are no your own. There is a reason why couples only resorts exist in the Caribbean. ;-) I have dealt with some annoying kids!!! But they're children...they are bound to be annoying :lol:...one of them made me stay up and paint with her for hours(and clean up, of course)and picked out all my food. Haha. I wouldn't know about actual motherhood, but I do know my concern over the amount of already created life in the world Vs amount of love and care in it far outweighs my desire to have children. Having children of your own is inherently selfish(but understandable) and you are so right, that 'unconditional'(based on the condition they're yours) love is there from the start. To love someone without that condition takes time, understanding, patience, but to me is more rewarding, altruistic, and minimizes harm of life. Lol but I hear u. That's probably why a lot of getaways exist Edited May 21, 2017 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Just wondering , why would you prefer a divorced guy with older children, so there's no pressure to have kids or ? Right, I don't want anymore kids. Oh, and to add to this... I find that having and raising kids changes a man. They learn how to love and care for someone else besides themselves. I like to see proof that a man is capable of this. And of course older kids are less needy so they have more time to spend with me! Of course, there is the opposite extreme out there too... where the man loves his kid so much that he doesn't have any room left to love you (and sometimes he doesn't want to either and deliberately uses the kid as a barrier between you and him). I'm not interested in that kind of guy either. Edited May 21, 2017 by Popsicle Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 (edited) Yeah right, l like my one kid or no kids thing. God life eh , never thought l'd be ever having to think about this sort of thing with some new partner one day, talk about mind fk. Suppose l don't have to think about it yet anymore anyway ,bc there's no new partner yet now. gf had one grown kid but they lived in different countries so she could do what she wants. not a bad set up for me haha. Met one girl that had 4 houses and no kids , l thought that was a pretty good deal too Edited May 21, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 It would take a woman that can commit. She doesn't need to have a huge paying job but she has to have her s**t together. Sense of humour is a must. She has to enjoy coming camping and travelling with me. Progressive/a little hippyish chicks are very cool. Reasonably fit or better, I like me a girl I can fling around the bedroom a little. Not a huge or demanding list but I am flexible with it. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 be legit ...a stayer......ready to fight not literally......being with me ..is never going to be an easy ride....a guy ready for the bumps.....a guy ready to stand beside me....like i would with him....a guy willing to take a bullet like i would..a guy i can trust who knows he can trust me......all other things are relative .....deb.. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 gf told me she would take a bullet for me. it was the most incredible thing a womens ever said to me. and she would too. it's so bizarre that we couldn't work our sh@t out, and sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Some type of higher education/cert's/oversea experience. So I know they've pursued passions or have been out of their element. Preferably older.. is that weird for a guy to say? I'm not talking cougars and battle-axes with several ex-husbands under their belts. Just 4-5yrs older. It's okay if she has a kid, if they're older than 1-2yrs old. I would feel like the guy might pop up any minute and try to weasel back in at that point. Plus they're at that funny, 'aware' but unwittingly rude age. No drug and/or alcohol addictions. I feel ridiculous even having to say this but everyone these days has one or both. Clever. I need sharp wit. I love when my girlfriends roast my mates and vice versa. I'd gloat about my intelligent lady. Is up to meshing life plans and not just trying to squeeze me into hers. I've been pressured by someones time table before and it left no room for my pursuits or interests. And that goes with communication too. Gotta be a communicator. The physical stuff is going to make me seem shallow. So I'll leave that out. ;P Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mysterio Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 Here is my type in a nutshell physically. Age 37 to 48. height-shorter than me or same height. Slim/Curvy Voice-light voice Hair-long but can put it into ponytail. Light Make up to naturally pretty. Etnicity-open to any. Personality-Warm/Sweet/Sharp/Adorable. light hearted. Introspective/Spiritual. Link to post Share on other sites
Zip Silver Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 My non negotiables: - Honest - Has a decent enough job to support themselves - Wants to get married - Actively wants babies - Sexually adventurous and interested - Intelligent - Unafraid of commitment - Non judgmental - Liberal My strong desires: - Altruistic (works in a caring profession or does voluntary work) - Around at least a similar income level to me - Doesn't drink excessively (heavy drinking every weekend is a no from me) - Musician or passionate about music - Vegetarian or vegan I also really value somebody who is motivated and driven, not just in their career but in terms of 'it's a weekend and we have the day off, let's go out for the day' or asking me on dates even while living together. It's a turn off to be with someone who is content to drift and see what each day brings. I'm someone who likes to squeeze the most from the time and enjoys planning things to look forward to, I love that in somebody else. Nothing would make me feel more loved and special than a partner making plans for us to go have some fun doing an activity or visiting someplace new on a day off work. Link to post Share on other sites
teak Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 I'll know when I feel the right person. I can give a list (emotionally available, intellectual, reasonably in shape, empathetic, etc.) but there will be people who can check off every point on the list and there can still be something missing between us. I have a very difficult time reciprocating a connection to someone. I just feel misunderstood or incredibly weird, so maybe that comes off as being fascinating - I've heard it enough before, but I want to feel the same way about someone. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Here is my type in a nutshell physically. Age 37 to 48. height-shorter than me or same height. Slim/Curvy Voice-light voice Hair-long but can put it into ponytail. Light Make up to naturally pretty. Etnicity-open to any. Personality-Warm/Sweet/Sharp/Adorable. light hearted. Introspective/Spiritual. What is a light voice? When she speaks moonbeams shine out from her throat? Link to post Share on other sites
Chris2016 Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 "What does it take to be with you." She wants to be with me. I want to be with her. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 Heaven help me if I was single. For starters, I'd need a man who can cope with my role as a carer to my disabled son. Willingness to accept that I can't just take off with little notice and a bulletproof approach with his sometimes challenging behaviour is just the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
knabe Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 This is easy because I already have it: The key word is balance He's active but not a gym rat He's a hard worker but not addicted to his job or making money He's responsible but not boring He's very handsome (in my eyes anyway), but he's not hung up on the outside (even though he tells me I'm beautiful daily He's a good yen to my yang (just using that loosely. I know how to program a computer, and he knows how to change my oil He's open to learning the things I love, and I am the same way He's unflinchingly honest but TACTFUL about it He cares for me, and he also expects that I will care for him He has a strong faith, but he's not a stone-throwing pharisee We don't agree on everything politically, but he knows how to disagree like a grownup and not get hung up on it He respects women in general, from his mom on down, but he also has a traditional bent, which works well for my personality He knows how to kiss (trust me, this cannot be undersold) Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie_1 Posted June 14, 2017 Share Posted June 14, 2017 A cute face, a warm heart and a curious mind. An almost impossible blend to find. If they fill that criteria I'm willing to bend over backwards and bridge any gap to be with them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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