caring guy Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Hi, new here. Me & my partner are in a rough spell, i've been complacent & not shown her the attention, although i tel her i love her all time, flowers, that she's important to me etc, but in a rutt & as i'm on a benefit due to illhealth it don't help. We're both 30, she has 2 kids aged 10 & 6 to 2 dads. I don't live with her but want to now or in future & i guess thats another reaso for this prob. I came to visit her recently after a week period of 'space' & she told me she went out with her sister (very rare occurance) & talked to a guy, they had dinner, she fancys him, he-her, they went to her place & kissed only, as she told him she was thinking of me! She says she loves me, can't imagine life without me. & they didn't have sex or anything. I was at her house & saw some emails they'd been sending & him saying sweety to her & her messages lighten up his day & she called him handsome. It turned my stomach & i'm so worried & anxious. The day after this she & her sister & kids & mother went on family holiday & i'm holding the fort looking after pets! The question is, do i try contacting her, we've spoke since then for an hour but nothing can be done on phone, i'll be there when they return, but should i text her telling her how i feel, that i'll be more loving & make a big effort. Or do i wait for her to contact me, kind of a push & pull thing! She knows i'm upset & hurting, she says we'll spend time together on her return & talk properly. I want to comit more now, to her, her kids & this kid she had this liason with was only 21 & made her feel special. I'm so in pain & hurt lots, please help. Link to post Share on other sites
ltomlinson81 Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Tell her how you feel. There is no reason not to. If the issue was you not showing her enough love, and you do still love her, then you need to change the way you show it if you want to keep her around. Let her know you want to be with her and if she accepts, work to keep her around. Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Hey hun!! I'm sorry ur in such pain. I understand how hurt you must be feeling, and wanting to contact her right right now to let her know how u feel. But i honestly think you should wait until her return to talk things over. She's on holiday with her family. I'm sure the last thing she wants or needs is rel'ship talk or drama (which is bound to happen if you guys get into a discussion abt your feelings, the rel'ship etc...). Talk is good -> but there's a time and place for everything. IMHO -> the best thing to do is sit it out, wait for her to return, let your feelings calm down a bit so that when she does get back you two can have a calm, logical and clear-headed discussion about the rel'ship and where u both want it to go. If you push the issue while she's on vacation, you may alienate her even further. Right now u wanna be receptive, light and attractive to her. So good luck, and keep us posted! K. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strange love Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Well why do guys do this? sure women want to know how you feel, but you cant tell them i'll be more this, ill be more that. You have to show them. If I was you I would study those emails sent from that kid and figure out what he did to make her feel special. Shes left you there in charge of stuff that shows something doesnt it? Shes not going to leave you dude, so get a grip!! Listen you wanna do something sweet and romantic? see this is the show me part.. Clean up around there, clean the bathroom etc.. careful though once I cleaned up a bit for my ex and I stuck some papers somewhere she had trouble finding them and they were only inches away. The idea is clean not rearrange LOL ... Make her a cake!..something.. id back off on the relationship thing she obviously feels pressured I wouldnt bring up unless she does. good luck dr strangelove Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted August 16, 2005 Author Share Posted August 16, 2005 I did the garden, cleared the patio of weeds, hoovered did chocolate strawberrys & told her i loved her & was totaly comitted to her & family. I analised the emails he sent, i get the drift that he has a better job than me, makes her feel special by what clothes he wears! He's 10 years younger than her & his msn profile says he like booze & women & money.! She didn't believe me when i told her it said he likes women on his profile. She's with him, but i want her back. I'm gonna show her my feelings & commitment & change my ways that made her do this in first place, like drinking too much & not showing her how much she means to me! No contact is difficult, but i have her door key & i think she wants it back, so i'm going to wait till she wants it back! Link to post Share on other sites
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