CantDecide... Posted August 1, 2005 Share Posted August 1, 2005 Need some help.....Ok so my Gf and i were dating for a year and a half, we recently broke up a month ago. After we broke up she left for Armenia for two weeks, and eventually came home 10 days ago. We hyad decided to be friends, and oviosly my plan was just to try and rekindle a relationship. But before i get to far into this lemem quickly explain why we broke up. Basically i was extremely stressed about graduating, and moving which i was doing all in the same week, and basically i kinda neglected her to hang with my friends more, and she was always busy with work and dance, i wanted to spend time with her but sometimes it was just hard. So We ended up getting into a fight one day and abruptly broke up. Since we broke up Like i stated weve been friends but then she left. Once she came home We were still talking on phone atleast 1c or twice a day. And during all this shes been saying stuff like i really dont want to loose you, your really important person in my life. I feel like your the only person i can vent to about my problems, your always there for me, etc etc. So w/e we then started hanging out, movie on night, ice cream the next, and also a day at her house to look at pictures from her vacation to armenia. Everything seemed awesome like ok yea i just gota keep this up and ill evetually have her back. But anyways were on phone on friday, and she says how are u feeling about everything and im like im ok i gues, you? and shes well im just glad were friends and talk to eachother. I then said How do u see us as in getting back together, and she replied well i havent really thought about it, im still scared and skepticall your going to neglect me again( which she has a right to feel that way although ive been making several changes to improve myself, IE: therapy, to talk to a shrink about my anger problems( not abusive, just getting annoyed easilly usually at her) So i was like well lsiten if its gonna continue like this i dont think i can be your friend, i want to be but its to painfull, If you have a change of heart you can contact me, but if its gonan remain just friend i have to move on, and she was kinda of upset, but said i gues this is how it has to be then. But Im just so confused i want to call her, becasue maybe if we stay friends and continue to talk and hang out it will blossom back into a relationship, but on other hand it may not and leave me completly burned. So i want to call her but dont know if i shpould, how do u guys feel if i continued the friendship it would have turned out, or should i just not call her and wait for her to call me??? Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Just dont contact her at all.. She will miss you more and want what she cant have.. If you are there for her (even as a friend) she still has that emotional security there but without the stress of the relationship. The best way to get her back is probly NC. You already told her that its a relationship or its nothing.. You cant say one thing to her and go back on it. Just leave her alone and let her sort things out in her head and contact you when she is ready.. If you keep asking her about a relationship and persuing you will seem weak and needy and it will most likely push her away even further.. I know its going to be hard to not call her but you have to do it !! Take care, Peace Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 2, 2005 Author Share Posted August 2, 2005 Originally posted by mixwell Just dont contact her at all.. She will miss you more and want what she cant have.. If you are there for her (even as a friend) she still has that emotional security there but without the stress of the relationship. The best way to get her back is probly NC. You already told her that its a relationship or its nothing.. You cant say one thing to her and go back on it. Just leave her alone and let her sort things out in her head and contact you when she is ready.. If you keep asking her about a relationship and persuing you will seem weak and needy and it will most likely push her away even further.. I know its going to be hard to not call her but you have to do it !! Take care, Peace yea i know its very hard, i want to so bad but no if i do it will just push my progress back to the begining. However Her and i broke up about 6 months ago as well, and i tried everything in the book to get her back and finally i just stopped calling her and everything, and i read her away mesage 2cd night of lonliness so i called her and got her back. This time around shes been leaving wierd away mesages like sad lyrics from songs, i think it was like as the tears roll down your face, i see this love start to turn to waste or sumthing like that, so im oviosly on her mind. I dunno im jsut so confused and know that i cant call i gota wait for her, or if she ever calls Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 A mystical woman once told me, whatever you did once and it worked, you do it again and it works. I dont think you should be pressuring your female friend at or giving her ultimatiums(sp). Sometimes NC isn the answer and sometimes people say get lost dont ever contact me again and them months later the show up all pissed off that u didnt call or email. .. See by you getting ticked off at her by giving her an ultimatium how have you changed? consider that? dr strangelove ps Miss-well call or email your ex.. something tells me she would like to hear from you. Humor me on this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CantDecide... Posted August 2, 2005 Author Share Posted August 2, 2005 Originally posted by dr strangelove A mystical woman once told me, whatever you did once and it worked, you do it again and it works. I dont think you should be pressuring your female friend at or giving her ultimatiums(sp). Sometimes NC isn the answer and sometimes people say get lost dont ever contact me again and them months later the show up all pissed off that u didnt call or email. .. See by you getting ticked off at her by giving her an ultimatium how have you changed? consider that? dr strangelove ps Miss-well call or email your ex.. something tells me she would like to hear from you. Humor me on this.. Well i havent given her any altematums, i was never mad at her for the way she was feeling, i just simply said that i dont think i can be your friend, she didnt like it. And right as we first broke up she said please dont abndon me, but its just to painfull, but i feel like ive been in more pain since NC, every1 keeps telling me she will eventually call, but shes the type of girl that if u say you dont want to be friends no matter what shes feeling shell leave it alone, so i kind of have to rely on her away messages to see if i should call.....ughhhh confusion Link to post Share on other sites
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