Jamie_1 Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 (edited) As my title alludes to. I'm completely smitten with someone in my college class, and we appear to get on well and connect on an emotional and existential level, the blockade to my future advances is that she has a boyfriend and college is coming to its end. I long to be the person that makes her smile everyday, but I'm aware that it might never come to pass. Is it possible to maintain a friendship with someone like this without it being more pain than its worth to keep in contact with her, or could I preserve the enjoyable and deep relations I have with her and overcome this yearning? Edit: As a sidebar. I'm guessing it's complete suicide to open up to her and tell her how much I care for her considering she has a boyfriend? Edited May 13, 2017 by Jamie_1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 You can't maintain a friendship when you want more. It will tear you up inside. Since she has a BF, you need to be respectful of that & not tell her how you feel. Telling her won't make her break up with him for you. You will simply be left open & vulnerable without any reward. 1
preraph Posted May 13, 2017 Posted May 13, 2017 You want to be the one to make her smile, but you're not. So now you need to think about making YOURSELF happy, and that's best done by not hanging onto this and wasting years chasing someone who isn't reciprocating in that way, and also realize your friendship might destroy her happiness with her partner. 1
Author Jamie_1 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Posted May 14, 2017 You want to be the one to make her smile, but you're not. So now you need to think about making YOURSELF happy, and that's best done by not hanging onto this and wasting years chasing someone who isn't reciprocating in that way, and also realize your friendship might destroy her happiness with her partner. Blunt. But I need every dose of reality I can get right now. Thank You.
Gillys Posted May 14, 2017 Posted May 14, 2017 As d0nnivain said friendship is hard when you want more. Definitely dont tell her how you feel. All it will do is boost her ego, leave you feeling vulnerable and make whatever you have now awkward AF. Besides you don't want to be with a woman who can just easily leave her bf just because another guy likes her. Think about how insecure you'd be if you ended up dating her and found out down the road that a different male friend was crushing on her. You'd probably be terrified she'd leave you for a new shiny relationship at any moment.
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