Crushes on coworkers..how to stop them and am i normal?

[missingu]

I have a pattern of getting crushes on coworkers. And everytime one moves on, like now, i get awfully sad about it. I hate getting so attached to people at work like this yet it happens time and time again.

 

And i have a boyfriend who i adore and would never ever cheat on as i dont want to. But i feel like as our relationship has its ups and downs like any relationship, i feel guilty.i dont know why i feel so guilty. I love my man and we take good care of eachother. He is awesome in every single way but i still find myself attracted to others.

 

And my latest crush is leaving and although im extremely happy in my personal relationship at home, i feel very sad. Am i normal? I always feel like im the only one to ever feel this way.

 

I Also thought maybe my boyfriend and i could do more together and i would feel better. And maybe i should see my girlfriends more than i currently do to get my mind off of it.

[Gillys]

Wait so are you getting romantic feelings for these coworkers that leave? Or do you just admire certain qualities about them and miss them like a good friend moving away?

[d0nnivain]

Crushes on people are normal, even when you are in a relationship. I have crushed on a few people over the years. But they are just that meaningless crushes. I look. I think gee that person is good looking or has other qualities I admire. I dream a little from afar for a few weeks then let it go because it's not reality.

 

 

You mention something about getting attached. That's where you are going wrong. You need to keep these crushes firmly in the realm of fantasy. Stop thinking you will ever have a relationship with these people. Do not allow yourself to get attached. Then when they leave, it's no more painful then somebody else changing jobs.

[BreakOnThrough]

You are very normal in the crush area, perhaps your boundaries are not if you are becoming too attached though, fantasies are great, but when they become too consuming, there is usually underlying issues. You may want to start counseling to figure out why that's the case and possibly explore relationship issues you may be having that you are not necessarily aware of.

[amaysngrace]

Crushes are normal at work because work would suck even worse otherwise and that's why you're sad.

 

One less joy of working now.

[missingu]

So I said goodbye today and I realized afterwards I felt a little bit better, almost relieved.I was more sad the last 2 weeks, and this week coped a bit better.

 

I know it will hurt for a little bit but I'm confident I can get through this and back to myself in no time. I come home to my boyfriend who I adore and feel better.

 

A major change happened at work about 6 months ago. Most people I worked with for 10 years left and I think the crush on this coworker was a result of that. Clinging on to the past and I'm a,bit down about the whole change as I went from working with 30+ people to 10. . So work will be hard for a while but I know I can do it and look forward to meeting a lot more people and making work bearable.

 

I still feel like a crazy person sometimes, going to go to dinner with a friend tonight and have fun