Sinking into thy abyss of darkness

[headspins]

I try to pretend that I am not angry. That I don't have resentment or feel bitterness towards this woman that ended up sabotaging to push me away. Methodically,and so very manipulative having almost no emotion whatsoever..Nothing. I have never felt such deep agony and pain all the whilst feeling that I actually am in love with this woman?! Failed to disclose to me after 8 months that she cannot accept love. Has built an impenetrable wall over course of her life.. Claimed I broke some away and she saw glimpses of real chance.. My heart already foolishly given to her.. Nearly commit suicide 1x and 2 other xs seriously wanting too and faltering.. My heart hurts so badly cuz even after I knew I still so transperant express feelings and she tell me just cuz she doesn't ?doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings and I shldnt have expectations.

[unicorn_with_baggage]

It sounds like she may have been hurt a great deal in the past. Maybe even since childhood. It sounds like she tests people and makes them walk away to prove herself right. That no one will stick around. The ball is in your court you can be patient and take the lengthy amount of time necessary to prove to her that she's found someone who won't leave or you can free yourself of the head games and walk. If you're attempting suicide I recommend walking away. It's obviously not good for you and your health. Good luck with everything. I hope it gets better for you.

[d0nnivain]

headspins

 

 

You need to get your anger under control. It's OK to be upset. You lost something precious to you -- your relationship. Anger can be one of the stages of grief but if you genuinely feel suicidal or homicidal, please call 911 or go to an emergency room.

 

 

While you won't believe me in the throws of your upset, this will pass. You need to give it time. But you have to be alive for that to happen.

 

 

Hang in there.