muffin Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 My 93 year-old grandmother is in a nursing home dying right now. Just a month ago I was taking her to the grocery store and she was walking and talking and doing well. Now she is in a bed wasting away, unable to talk or tend to herself after battling an intestinal infection and a major stroke. The family is in shock. She's been in and out of the hospital many times in her life, especially in the last few years but this was the time we thought wouldn't get here, at least not just yet. I've been very close to her all of my 40 years and losing her is leaving a huge hole in my life. I know I did a lot of things right over the years but all I can think about at this point is all the times I was ever angry with her or didn't go see her or put off returning her calls and things like that. She had some difficult ways about her that distanced the family and we all had troubles in our relationships with her. Still, it grieves my heart to think of her suffering, being afraid or in pain or all alone and I wish I had done more for her, regardless. I may not get a chance to see her again before she dies. My biggest hope is that when her time comes she'll have enough clarity of mind to know she was loved and feel peace. And after that, I hope God will remind her how much I loved her. Link to post Share on other sites
seagirl Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 I am so sorry for what you are going through! How far away is the nursing home? Try to tell her that you love her at least one more time it will do your heart good. If you can't get to her call the nursing home and have someone put a phone to her ear. You will feel much better! Link to post Share on other sites
winnie_05 Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Im sorry to hear about what your going through. Im sure your Grandmother knows you love her very much and vica versa. If you can see her then tell her. People do feel things like this in these situations. Spend some time with her if you can. winnie Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 muffin, I'm so sorry to hear that your granny is dying ... the hardest part of letting go of someone you're close to and that you love dearly is the "did I do enough to let him/her know I loved him/her?" Being apart doesn't help assauge those feelings, but thank God for the US Postal System. Because even if your grandma might not be able to read it herself, writing and sending her a letter or card letting you know just how much you do love her can make a difference. I did that the summer before my mom passed away, and as close as we'd always been, I think maybe the letter was something she held close to her heart because when she was at her worst (in the hospital and delirious from infection or drugs), she'd say things that I'd written her, which led me to believe that she took comfort in knowing beyond a doubt that I loved her like no other. Maybe writing that letter to your granny will do the same, even though she might not verbally respond, it'll still be something she can keep close to her heart. hugs to you, a whole lot of them, quank Link to post Share on other sites
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