What is he doing to me? Is he playing games or what??

[prettyjanejoe]

Here is my situation:

 

There is a man at my job who is very very attractive. I used to think that he was way out of my league and because of that, I originally didn't have any thing for him.

 

Well, when we first started to "notice" each other, it all happened because we would just run into each other and our eyes would "lock". I mean "LOCK" and we'd just stare into each other's eyes breifly. That happened often and then we started talking to each other a few months after these incidents happened.

 

It started out innocently. He would just ask me how things are going. And many times, he'd ask me ,"How are YOU doing"... he would always emphasize the "you" part. Then we'd always have a huge smile on our faces as soon as we'd notice each other. He would wave at me from afar... as soon as he'd see me.

 

While all this went on, I had begun to develop feelings for him. I didn't want the feelings there but I could NOT get this guy out of my head! After a while, we kind of started flirting. But not exactly 'alone' or directly, but we'd give each other these glances from afar. Kinda like he was communicatiing with me through eye-contact. We'd flirt that way, but never openly because we were at work of course. But it seemed like our little secret between the 2 of us. There was definatley sexual tension there... at least on my part... not sure of his.

 

So he had invited me to join the gym in town. He asked me why I never go to the gym to workout. He said that he'd be happy to show me everything and go with me when I wanted to. I did go with him once but I didn't have much time so he showed me things briefly. When I left, he looked me in the eye again and said thank you. For what??? for my little bit of time i spent with him? Still unsure at this point.

 

I haven't gone back again -yet- but he asks me constantly when I am working out again. I always say that I don't have the time. He stopped asking me about that then, but then he started to ask me personal questions. Like where I live and other things. He constantly asks me how school is going. I told him that I am almost done and that I found a position in the feild that I went to school for.

 

He is constantly congratulating me and asking how excited I am. And he repeats everything that I have told him in our previous conversations. So at least I know that he listens to me when I talk to him.

 

The only thing that I have a problem with is that I am very very into this guy and I have told him that I am. But with all the positive signals that I recieve from him - I haven't gotten any response from him whether he is into me or not?!? He hasn't told me anything about being interested. I just figure it out through his body language and eye contact and his actions. and also his compliments he gives me.

 

I would like to start something with him but I don't really know how he feels. I told him that I am very very interested in him - but nothing - he hasn't told me anything! He just continues to email me sometimes, compliment me, stare at me, ask me how my day is going, flirt with me, tell me i am beautiful... i just don't get it!

 

Doesn't he seem interested? Or... what is going on here? Does he want to take it slow? Does he not want his emotions involved? I am not sure what the deal is.... HELP! maybe he has someone at home??? help! Thanks!

[AMBOMB72]

Ask him.

[HotCaliGirl]

I think he is playing games and in the long run hurting you. He smiles, asks you to the gym, talks, emails and got you to express to him that you have feelings for him, yet he doesn't tell you that he does too, and hasn't asked you out...

 

On the other hand, if you're that into him, why don't you make time to go to the gym with him when he asks you to? Maybe you're sending mixed signals to him too. I do feel that he might have someone else and you should are setting yourself up to get hurt maybe so take a step back and don't gush out any more of your feelings until he at least does too otherwise you'll read into things.

 

When you told him you were interested in him, he should've at that point told you that he does too if he did, pr told you he didn't, or if he had a gf or whatever, but since he didn't express anything back, I think he's just leading you on and you're feeding his ego.

[kgal]

Maybe he's shy about verbally expressing how he feels.... Actions speak louder than words. This guy is always asking you to go with him to the gym.. prob. to get some time alone w/you and to check you out. He is asking you how you are and congratulating you b'cuz he is probably really into you! I'm sure he likes you too. Just give it time.. back off and see if he pushes harder. If he does..ask him again if he wants to start something w/you. Be careful at the same time.. if things are still new and you like him tons... go slow. You don't want to get hurt.. but also have fun, relax, let loose and enjoy the attention. Haha. Good Luck!!!

[Beachgrl486]

I think you should ask him. Maybe he just is not open. He could be shy or just unsure. Just tell him casually. Maybe see if he wants to go to dinner or lunch or something one day. He asked you to go to the gym...so ask him to do something. The worst that can happen is he say no which I am sure wont. Go for it. Dont have regrets.

[Zephyr45]

But with all the positive signals that I recieve from him - I haven't gotten any response from him whether he is into me or not?!?

 

Those signals are likely the response!! He's definitely acting like he's into you.

 

However,

 

- There's a slim chance he's just a friendly person and treats you well because that's how he treats other people. I wouldn't bet on it, but i'd make sure I see how he treats other people, especially other single women if I were you. It could tell you something.

 

- There's another chance he's somewhat purposely playing games with you. This could be good or bad. He may be a stud, knows he's a stud, and does this to women just because he can. Meaning, being nice, mysterious, and having them fall for him before their eyes. Mega ego trip. If this is just his way of attracting girls he really wants to date, then it shouldn't be a bad thing. But he may just do it because he can.

 

Also, I think you've complicated things a bit by refusing to go to the gym on so many occasions. He could be using your interest in this as a gauge of your feelings toward him and if you just claim your "busy" all the time, what does that say? If you like him, MAKE time and go to the gym, at least enough to give him a clue.

[francis]

is he married?

[EIN]

Dont **** where you eat. The ramification if u guys breakup at workplace is hard to ignore unless you dont plan to work there very long.