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Divorced ladies, do you want to get married again?

Popsicle

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Popsicle

Popsicle

Posted
Posted

This thread is for DIVORCED LADIES.

 

If you're a divorced man make your own thread to rant in.

 

Anyways, D ladies, do you want to get married again?

 

I am seriously torn about this. When I'm not in a relationship and clear headed I think No. When I'm in a relationship I get foggy and think yes.

 

What are your thoughts?

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mrs rubble

mrs rubble

Posted
Posted
This thread is for DIVORCED LADIES.

 

If you're a divorced man make your own thread to rant in.

 

Anyways, D ladies, do you want to get married again?

 

I am seriously torn about this. When I'm not in a relationship and clear headed I think No. When I'm in a relationship I get foggy and think yes.

 

What are your thoughts?

I got married for the second time just 3 months ago, I'd been out of my last marriage for 10 years. I couldn't be happier. I turned down 2 other proposal's in between, but my husband is definitely the right one.

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basil67

basil67

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*My comment needs to be qualified by pointing out that defacto relationships have the same legal recognition here as marriages*

 

When I got divorced after having been married for four years, I realised just how little the promises made during the marriage ceremony meant to me. I'd rather be happy than adhering to a promise I no longer wish to keep.

 

Now, that's not to say that I wouldn't settle down again because I've been with my defacto partner for twenty five years this year. I can't ever imagine us breaking up. I've never even daydreamed about it, let alone seriously thought of it - so it's not as if I have commitment issues.

 

That said, if I lived in a country where my defacto relationship didn't have legal recognition, I'd get married. But only for practical purposes.

Edited by basil67
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littleblackheart

littleblackheart

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As it stands, I'm leaning very heavily towards no.

 

My ex husband trampled all over the marriage vows to the point of making a mockery of every single line in it so it'll take a very special kind of guy to help me restore my faith in marriage as an institution.

 

At my age, I value actions over words anyway.

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Sloppyseconds

Sloppyseconds

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When my first marriage ended I was heavily set against ever having to endure that process (of ending it) again. I spent a great deal of time and energy getting myself back to a good place, built nothing short of a fortress around my heart. Nobody was ever going to make me feel that letdown again. But slowly, my current husband proved to be the exception to the rule. As much as I was trying not to let my feelings change, it was happening. Then one day the topic came up and I realized I just couldn't treat everyone the same due to one person's actions. I was afraid, yes, in that it happened before, could happen again, but I felt a comfort, in that I loved before and could love and be loved again. I went with it. I have never been happier about a decision in my life and I actually thank my divorce in a way for opening my eyes to some things that you need to look at without the rose colored glasses on. As much as you'd like a concrete answer for your life, it truly will come down to the person you are with and a love that is real. Only then will you be able to really say. Just don't focus on having to remarry, enjoy life with your partner, and if it comes up, only base it on how you feel with that particular person. Not what's happened in the past or things done to you prior. This new person is not responsible for that and should not be reprimanded as such.

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Lilyana76

Lilyana76

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I always tell myself no...absolutely not!

 

But, who knows? Crazier things have happened.

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jjgitties

jjgitties

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When my first marriage ended I was heavily set against ever having to endure that process (of ending it) again. I spent a great deal of time and energy getting myself back to a good place, built nothing short of a fortress around my heart. Nobody was ever going to make me feel that letdown again. But slowly, my current husband proved to be the exception to the rule. As much as I was trying not to let my feelings change, it was happening. Then one day the topic came up and I realized I just couldn't treat everyone the same due to one person's actions. I was afraid, yes, in that it happened before, could happen again, but I felt a comfort, in that I loved before and could love and be loved again. I went with it. I have never been happier about a decision in my life and I actually thank my divorce in a way for opening my eyes to some things that you need to look at without the rose colored glasses on. As much as you'd like a concrete answer for your life, it truly will come down to the person you are with and a love that is real. Only then will you be able to really say. Just don't focus on having to remarry, enjoy life with your partner, and if it comes up, only base it on how you feel with that particular person. Not what's happened in the past or things done to you prior. This new person is not responsible for that and should not be reprimanded as such.

 

I am a guy and I am not allowed to participate in this thread. but I just has to chime in. I really loved your post. Hope you have a great 2nd marriage.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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I was married 15 years and divorced almost 20 years ago. For many years I said I would never get married again and that it was just a piece of paper our love didn't need. On top of that I had no desire of having children with a second man so that supported my 'no marriage' policy.

 

Then my ex-husband died suddenly and left his common-law partner and 9 year daughter in really deep sh%t because they were not married. Even though they had lived together 10 years she had no right at his funeral, no right on how to dispose of his body, no right to their house who was under his name, and the list goes on.

 

That made me make a complete turn around on marriage and now I do wish I will get married with my bf. I cannot imagine if something bad happens to him I will have no say where he should rest and I'll be put aside by notaries and the family.

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somuchfortheone

somuchfortheone

Posted
Posted
This thread is for DIVORCED LADIES.

 

If you're a divorced man make your own thread to rant in.

 

Anyways, D ladies, do you want to get married again?

 

I am seriously torn about this. When I'm not in a relationship and clear headed I think No. When I'm in a relationship I get foggy and think yes.

 

What are your thoughts?

 

 

I will get married again but I'll tell you this...I will be WAY more careful next time. I'll follow my heart but take my head along with me next time. I'm amazed at how many people get divorced and then jump into a relationship just as messy, if not worse! They just completely ignore the warning signs...no thank you! I cannot go through that kind of torture and then make another horrible decision. You can't divorce-proof your life but you can at least make a wise choice in a mate.

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Sloppyseconds

Sloppyseconds

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Thank you jjgitties! It is going great, has already outlasted the first run, I have to admit, I am loving it! Lol

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grays

grays

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Im not looking for marriage or hoping it will happen. Id love to find a real partner, but after what happened with ex (completely shocked to find out hed fallen in love w someone else after 25 years together) its hard for me to imagine really counting on someone that way again.

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todreaminblue

todreaminblue

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for clarification i lived as if married for fifteen years......broke up ten years ago......didnt go through divorce proceedings but with children involved we mediated without a courts influence.....came close to court.....

my ex is courting me again .....and for the longest time i had told my family if he were to want marriage i would go back......out of loyalty ...out of a family duty.....to unite my family to show my girls that marriage is the way...... and i do care for him.....

 

but

i have come to realize i have really changed......what i used to find funny i dont anymore...what i used to find endearing....sets my teeth on edge.....what i used to overlook and disregard my own feelings about...i cant do it...i tried ...and i cant.....what i find fun my ex doesnt....i have realised my geek heart and let it rule for ten years......and i cant go back......not even for marriage...whcih makes me feel like i am neglecting my role of making my family whole.....one name one family.....and thinking of marriage with my ex....needs to be more in tune with my values.....im celibate till marriage.....

 

i dont knwo if i will ever marry ......i know i believe in it with my whole heart.......and i know i dont want someone who doesnt believe in marriage with his whole heart....and my ex doesnt believe in marriage at all......i dont want someone who doesnt love me the way i would love him.....so at this time i feel i am destined to be single .....and never marry.....what shall be will be.....being tied to someone who doesnt really love me for the sake of being married....makes me actually want to run away.....deb

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rushed

rushed

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I was married for ten years. My now ex-husband is a great guy for the most part. We had a lot of fun together and I loved the security of being married. Our marriage had a crappy ending, but in no way does that deter me from wanting to get married again.

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LivingWaterPlease

LivingWaterPlease

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Yes, I do want to marry again but have had many opportunities I've turned down so sometimes kind of wonder if I really do. I still would say the answer is yes, though.

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andie1969

andie1969

Posted
Posted

Well, I've been divorced twice, so...

 

First one, young and dumb, we wanted totally different things out of life. Ended after about 4 years (and 2 kids). Single for about 10 years and got married again, thought it would last forever. It lasted 12 years (one child), then he met someone on Instagram and wanted out, so that was that. I've pretty much been on the hell no train because I don't think the 3rd times a charm lol. However, I have been with my current BF for 2 years and we just moved in together and are planning a "lifetime" relationship. Neither one of us feels we need the legality of marriage to have a loving, committed relationship. We are going to see where we are in a year from now and then maybe draw up some papers making us next of kin or whatever. Basically giving each other the chance to make decisions, etc. and leaving me the house (in his name only). So all that to say, no, probably not. On the other hand, I think OTHER people would take our relationship more seriously if we were married, saying "my wife" sounds so much more solid than "my girlfriend", even if you've been together for years.

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spiderowl

spiderowl

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I guess I would like the right person to ask me but I don't think I actually want to get married. I'd prefer to keep finances and so on separate. Who knows? I can't predict how I would feel if I met someone really special.

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Tressugar

Tressugar

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MAYBE a big maybe! I'm very skeptical and rightfully so.

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