Any plans for how your gonna proceed in the future, life ?

[Chilli]

Mainly for the older ones but do you have any new plans or ideas about yourself or your life or new directions , or struggling with big decisions ?

 

Been a lottttaaa stresses and decisions for me and before ex w and me, for the last 12yrs or so now and then 4yrs ago we split so along come a whole new life and even more stresses and huge decisions, never effg ends.

Not to mention love life since , well there was but that's ended , nother story.

 

But yaknow , thinking about it all the last few wks , so fed up with worry or having to choose or decide big sh@t and then love lives are up there with the biggest also , which are often enough all their own as it is.

Even that , was yet another huge decision in whether or not to go on , or walk away from her.

All these things in life , life and pressures, l also work for myself so there's some more.

 

My gf was always saying , she was sick to death of all of lifes bullsh@t , gets ya no where, and from now on she was just gonna live for today.

Her sitch was a little bit easier though but still, not a bad plan l thought.

 

You know , l've finally got another house , l'm enjoying renovating it and living in it, new town too, dunno what l think of that though, but it's nice and close to my daughter and school, got some beautiful areas to go to up and down the coast,nope l'm not on the coast,l wish , 20mins over.

 

There's soooo much l've been thinking about and dealing with , and now gf and l haven't worked out so dealing with that too and , thinking about the future too.

 

But a few wks ago , around when gf and l split , you know it's like once again , where does all the worry and trying get ya. ?

So why bother. Can't we just live a day at a time too , as long as we can cover our bills and live a bit , is really worth worry about anything else ?

Why can't we just live and let the cards fall where they will ?

ls th end result even any bloody different anyway?

 

l dunno , just seems the harder you try and the more you worry in life, the more sh@t it throws at you.

[d0nnivain]

I am a worrier too & agree that all it seems to do is make you stressed & bite you in the a$$ but I can't stop.

 

 

I'm trying to focus on the present & save for the future but it's hard not to stress. Yoga breathing & exercise helps.

[GunslingerRoland]

I think you have to find the balance between planning for tomorrow and living for today. You need to have goals in life and use them to help you make decisions, otherwise you can go in a lot of circles. That doesn't mean every goal needs to be long term though.

 

Still I'd hate to be 70 years old and still worrying about how to pay my bills everyday because I didn't worry about anything but today, for the past 50 years of my life.

[Chilli]

Yeah , that's what l find Do, l even notice at work if l don;t try too hard ,l have a great day and the job goes really well.

That's sorta where l wish l could turn myself around a bit in life . l do try hard to make my sh@t happen , and it does work , but at times with some really big things like other properties or ex , it's just proved a waste .

so l often wonder now these days after all that , if you have to try too hard is it maybe then just not meant to be perhaps.

 

But yeah , good point to Gunslinger , l wonder about all that too.

And where the line is.

[dichotomy]

I am older.

 

I have run out of goals - except for a rather common place fantasy or two

 

I suppose its strange (privileged? lucky?) to feel "I have done/achieved most of what I wanted - not much left".

[Chilli]

Thanks for that. Yeah l've done a lot in my life too so there's not really much there l'm too fussed about. Now it's more about getting on my feet again after divorce , starting from near scratch again when we were pretty well close to set for life just 5yrs ago. But what can ya do.

So for me it's all about the two biggies all over again right now and a slog and a half the last few yrs.

Finances and love ,,, damn.

Stop worrying about both seems like a pretty good plan to me right now.

[Chilli]

l might even use this thread as a bit of a journal, l don't know. l really feel as though l need something like that sometimes right now.

And if anyone feels like joining in or speaking their thoughts or story or views, ideas, please feel free.

 

Basically what's been going on with me.

Ex w and l separated 4yrs ago , together 19 all up. l spent a few yrs finding my head in all that and trying to get on my feet and just figuring out wth next .

 

l could've kept the house but with the divorce later and all ,didn't wanna stay.Wasn't much money in it when we sold and then split that, all gone.

3yrs later met gf , met a few others along the way but nothing l wanted to make anything of.

Gf and l though , that was a different story. lt was almost as my whole life , maybe even the divorce had all happened so that we could find each other , it was all so surreal.

Won't go into the details again though now buttttt , we haven't worked out. Damnnnnn.

 

In the meantime , 6mths back l got another house. lt's the first time l'm got a house on my own. It was always with w before this.

It feels so weird , l had gf but being mainly LD for then , l was here alone.

Also have my daughter , she's 15mins away that's why l came to this town. Something new but still close to my d.

She use to stay a lot but lately hardly at all because her new bf and circle of friends are all in her town now , she mainly lives with ex.

Well she use to live with me a lot too but since her new crowd and me moving to this town, hardly ever. l understand , she's a teen , new bf, great friends there , what else matters when your a teen right. l'm happy for her. She's done so well in all of this and ex and l have done so well working togtehr for her.

But never the less , we see each other allthe time l go pick her up at school or home and we go somewhere or come over here, we talk everyday , but she hardly stays though.l shouldn't complain anyway bc really , looking on the brightside , l'm , oops , dunno what's happened here, anyway, l'm a single guy and now l have some fee wkends for once.

 

But, l'm pretty alone. New town , gf and l not worked out, l nly knew one guy here and although we get along great, he's married ad busy with 3kids, recently met another new mate and we also get along very well but he's also married with 3kids.

l'm not really the friendy friendy type anyway tbh . l like a few friends but my life so to speak has always been with a gf or ex w and my daughter.

And it's so bizarre to be here like this now at this age and sometimes depressing.

A new house , town , l suppose life maybe , sometime down the track. not much of one right now that's for sure,

l'm just doin up the house in my spare time lately ,spend way too much time gawking at this stupid bloody thing- the computer , or just doing whatever stuff l need to do in life you know.

 

l had gf when l moved here even though we couldn't be together very often we were always together still, talking or calling or text or thoughts pretty well 24 7.

But now , there's just me . Brothers 30mins away he drops in a bit. The two mates each drop in or l go there now and then. But it's just so strange.

l dare not dwell on the fact that 4 and half yrs ago l had my family.

The house is pretty big , well for here standards anyway. Nothing compared to most l guess but it's layout is very roomy and 3 bedrooms. Too big for one. But l don't wanna share. l'm use to living with my women and my daughter , not sharing.

 

l try to get out a bit because l work from home mostly alone. Even if it's just up to the main town here for some shopping or my town here up to the shops or over to my bros or mates here now and then.

But really , nothing worth mentioning.

l'm just not use to single life or very interested in it at all really .gf was moving over and that was gonna be next , not this.

 

l sort of enjoy working on the house , but it's a pretty hollow victory l must admit. w and l always did up our houses , but now it's just me.

it all feels so strange , even though life with ex now days seems like another lifetime lately. That's a good thing l guess , some progress.

But l dunno, how to people live alone ?

l had a few flats and stuff on my own in my 20s, and l'm not a people in my face 24 7 kinda person, l like my space, and my own time ,but hell, not this much of it.

 

The future seems a touch scary actually . And l know , l'm trying not to worry about it , day at a time , remember Chilli.

But in all honesty l really dunno what to do with my sitch . it feels like the last 4 1/2 yrs have all been just wasted but l must admit , l am a little worried that might just continue.

[Chilli]

l've been doing some scientific testing lately , chilli style.

And so far l've gotta admit , l'm pretty damn impressed.

 

So much to think about , decide , and worry about lately ,if l let it.

But the decisions are the worst,l just need a break. So much sh@t the last few yrs, things that need deciding or figuring out, it's still going.

and then there's my business and stuff too.

 

Well, in the last few weeks l've been trying something and l say to myself well, what would you rather do , what do you wanna do with this or that , whatever it is.

The answers always , well, l'd rather just do this, or that.

So, l do . No more questions, no more bs, l just go with it, pure and simple.

 

Well l must say ,it's been a miraculous change all round so far, especially mentally.

Simple ,cut and dry and has worked out quite nicely in whatever the sitch or decision was at the time. .

So much so that l'm going to try and keep going with it for now unless it proves otherwise.

[No_Go]

I don't know if worrying is bad - it personally makes me more motivated to work hard and achieve things in life.

 

I also have had to transition from being with my long term bf and planning future with him to being single again. It sucks but it is not the end of the world.

 

So after the break up I went ahead and bought a house that will keep me busy in the next few months until I completely settle, looked into publishing some old stuff, I'm planning my next career steps etc.

 

Funnily I'm less worried when there are more things that life throws at me: I just make a plan and work on them. When I don't have 'projects' in mind, my mind is racing all the time haha.

 

 

Mainly for the older ones but do you have any new plans or ideas about yourself or your life or new directions , or struggling with big decisions ?

 

Been a lottttaaa stresses and decisions for me and before ex w and me, for the last 12yrs or so now and then 4yrs ago we split so along come a whole new life and even more stresses and huge decisions, never effg ends.

Not to mention love life since , well there was but that's ended , nother story.

 

But yaknow , thinking about it all the last few wks , so fed up with worry or having to choose or decide big sh@t and then love lives are up there with the biggest also , which are often enough all their own as it is.

Even that , was yet another huge decision in whether or not to go on , or walk away from her.

All these things in life , life and pressures, l also work for myself so there's some more.

 

My gf was always saying , she was sick to death of all of lifes bullsh@t , gets ya no where, and from now on she was just gonna live for today.

Her sitch was a little bit easier though but still, not a bad plan l thought.

 

You know , l've finally got another house , l'm enjoying renovating it and living in it, new town too, dunno what l think of that though, but it's nice and close to my daughter and school, got some beautiful areas to go to up and down the coast,nope l'm not on the coast,l wish , 20mins over.

 

There's soooo much l've been thinking about and dealing with , and now gf and l haven't worked out so dealing with that too and , thinking about the future too.

 

But a few wks ago , around when gf and l split , you know it's like once again , where does all the worry and trying get ya. ?

So why bother. Can't we just live a day at a time too , as long as we can cover our bills and live a bit , is really worth worry about anything else ?

Why can't we just live and let the cards fall where they will ?

ls th end result even any bloody different anyway?

 

l dunno , just seems the harder you try and the more you worry in life, the more sh@t it throws at you.

[Chilli]

Yeah right.

not me, l don't like too much on at once l'm one of these people that can always find something to do or somewhere to go.

Actually having to much on at once really get;'s on my nerves and gets in the way of my free time.

and worries , forgotten what it's like to just have no worries, just for once. a year of no worries would be heaven.

l sometimes get just a few days where just for once, there are no worries. but even on those days usually a bad news text will come through about some crap and totally destroys my few days of no worries anyway.

 

don't check the mail and switch off the phone seems the only way these days.

[todreaminblue]

i have so much i want to do.....want to see...want to be part of.....im preparing myself to go for it.....im cleaning my room first ...its a mess.....i found my boxing gloves and focus pads buried among a pile of books........going to take it back up get fit and im going to just go...get my dreams because they aint gonna come to me...i have small little steps to take.....and im doing what i have to do.......going to register my small business name as soon as i get my birth certificate.....i am really looking forward to studying..... im looking forward to tomorrow....i dont feel at all i have even begun to feel how my life could be for me..i have this warmth this like little light flickering inside my heart.....and its really hopeful and excited......so excited....because im going to make it happen....a little voice told me so....in whispers sweet...told me stand now its your time you have dreams to meet.........deb

[PogoStick]

I just finished my 2nd degree a year ago and into a new career. I'm now debating whether to go straight for finishing my grad schooling to reach my career endpoint, or spend a few years at this level to do some traveling and enjoy my time.

 

I'm dreading the idea of pushing off the enjoyment part of life for another 3-4 years. My instinct is to enjoy myself for a few years and then go back to school and career advancement.

 

What do you think? I'm nearly 40 y/o.

[Chilli]

Go for the enjoyment pogo you've earnt some and besides , that's what your guts telling you and that's what you'd rather do.

And besides no 2 , we're only young once and lifes short right.

 

And you see , this is a habit l want to try and get myself back into , instead of questioning questioning questioning myself and going through all the bs.

Because we usually just have at least one of those two but it's more often the both things already telling us , you know.

But l've been caught up in the bs of life and stopped listening to them.

 

Been practicing lately , seems to work a treat so far. touch wood.

Edited June 10, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

oppps, another boo boo

Edited August 25, 2017 by Chilli

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have achieved pretty much all I wanted to in life. I now live comfortably and treat myself regularly

 

The only things that are left, like "falling in love" seem to be beyond my control.

[Chilli]

Pleased for you ES.

And who knows what might be just around the corner from here.

[shellybing]

I would like to further education and buy a house.

 

once i get settled with that I am going to buy a mercedez benz and work.

 

working brings me peace.

[truthtripper]

If I'm super worried about things, I find writing about them helps to unscramble my mind and find some clarity and direction.

[Chilli]

Yeah , know what you mean , a big part of why l'm even here lately l guess as well as hearing others thoughts and things going on for them.

 

ps, good luck with the Merc to Shelly, l'm coming for a spin when ya pick that puppy up .

Edited August 26, 2017 by Chilli

[Soak]

i have so much i want to do.....want to see...want to be part of.....im preparing myself to go for it.....im cleaning my room first ...its a mess.....i found my boxing gloves and focus pads buried among a pile of books........going to take it back up get fit and im going to just go...get my dreams because they aint gonna come to me...i have small little steps to take.....and im doing what i have to do.......going to register my small business name as soon as i get my birth certificate.....i am really looking forward to studying..... im looking forward to tomorrow....i dont feel at all i have even begun to feel how my life could be for me..i have this warmth this like little light flickering inside my heart.....and its really hopeful and excited......so excited....because im going to make it happen....a little voice told me so....in whispers sweet...told me stand now its your time you have dreams to meet.........deb

 

Perfect Deb, and good on you! I've done something very similiar, and am really enjoying my upcomingly 'new' life. Remember to keep your own council, and you are doing it for you. Certain people get funny when you go to change things in your life. The status quo and all that is changed. Do it for yourself.

[Chilli]

So much for my new strategy in how l wanna deal with things from here.

Sometimes in life , you just can't be like that, or stop worrying enough to let it be like that .

 

l could force myself to just go as was , don't worry , at least not yet anyway , see what eventuates and where things head, But the biggest two things in anyones life have changed, again , even just since l started this thread.

 

How do you not worry about things of that magnitude ?

it's damn near inhuman not to ..

l might talk about it more later.