enchanted771 Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 My boyfriend has been living with me nearly a year. Things were ok at first, but it went downhill fast. I have stuck it out but all I keep hearing is how I stress him out, don't give him peace, refuse to change etc. you can't tell him how to talk, but then if I talk a certain way then I have an attitude. He tells me I refuse to accept responsibility for my actions, but then it's ok for him to act the way he does. Oh, but when he does it it's just him being direct and people can't handle it. He is not affectionate or loving toward me. But then when I try to talk to him he says it in a very arrogant way saying to ask myself why he might be acting this way. Then tells me that he can't be the only one changing. He just finds fault in everything, and he calls me negative, overly sensitive and defensive. I tried to break up before and he basically told me by law, I have to give him 30-days and I will need to give him a chance to save up his money for a room. So basically he wouldn't be paying me nothing for a month. Then when I told him I would change locks he told me I can't hold his things and he will call the cops if I do that. What should I do with this guy??? He says we will talk about it tomorrow but it's always the same story of him telling me what I'm doing that is making him unhappy, how I'm stressing him out and making his health condition worse and how this relationship can't be one way and how he explained this to me from day 1.... Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 It sounds like he's the negative one, besides he's blaming you for his health issues instead of taking control of things for himself. If he's verbally abusive, then there should be no "30 notice" (is that actually for real??) for kicking him out of YOUR house, change the locks and let him call the cops, all they're likely to do is supervise him removing his belongings. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 I tried to break up before and he basically told me by law, I have to give him 30-days and I will need to give him a chance to save up his money for a room. So basically he wouldn't be paying me nothing for a month. Then when I told him I would change locks he told me I can't hold his things and he will call the cops if I do that. What should I do with this guy??? .... Unless he is a lawyer, don't believe him. Most states do have notice provisions for arm's length landlord tenant situations between strangers but none of them apply to settings where the property owner or primary tenant lives there. Telling him it's over & giving him some time to get out is the nicer thing to do. It's wholly unrealistic to expect him to be gone in a few hours. One month's rent is a small price to pay to get rid of an unwanted live in BF. When I had to throw one out, I broke up very quietly, told him he had two weeks & that he had to sleep in the guest room until then but I expected to start seeing packed boxes. When the day came he asked for a 1 week extension which I granted because he has stayed in the guest room & was packing. In the end I ended up "loaning" him $500 to get out. Loan is in quotes because of course I never got my money back & I knew I wouldn't be getting repaid when I have it to him. I just wanted him gone more than I wanted the money. You can't hold your guy's stuff hostage but if you do change the locks, with witnesses, take photos of his stuff as you pack it neatly & securely so it can be returned to him at the earliest opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
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