My problems, please help.

[sam]

Six monthes ago I met that special someone who i became extremely crazy about immediatly. Before her, all I was into was computer games and stuff, but meeting her, I started to stop playing those games, and I started to become a 'cooler' and more fun to be around person (people say they noticed a change). We started a relation ship a month later and that lasted 3 monthes, until she said she got bored with me, and wanted out. A month ago, she kinda came crawling back in a way and got back into my life (i had NEVER stopped being crazy about her, where I cant stop thinking about her, you know?) Well, i gladly let her into my life, even tho i had had another g/f between that time, who also got bored of me during out 2 week relationship and dumped me. Me and the first person im talking about kissed for the first time a couple weeks ago,(her first real tongue kiss) and she wrote me letters telling me that she loved me a lot and missed me and a couple days after that I could tell the difference that she didnt like me as much anymore. She would stop calling me, and stuff, and when we did talk, there was a big change. Now, I do not know what to do, I cant stop thinking about her, and wishing we could be together and stuff. Why is it that they both got 'bored' of me? is it because im too 'easy' to get or something? thats what i have heard from some people could be the problem. 'too nice' is another thing they told me. I was talking to a good friend of the first person i was talkign about today and she told me that she had stopped liking me sooo much, but she still liked me, and that she was just into another guy right now, and that it was probably just a phase and would end soon.

 

What do I do? Thinking about her hurts, and I would like some help please. Can anyone give me some advice?

[JustAGirl]

a girl o'er here!

 

i know how that girl of yours feels! she wants u whenever u rn't available, and once u r - it's boring ... duh - she needs a challenge ... so be a challenge!

 

show u like her but not SOOOO much ... don't always be there, don't always return calls, don't always make all the effort... i think u can have lots of fun with her if u only play a bit less of mr. nice ...

 

yes - what people say is true, mr nice can get boring soon, especially if u'r dating for FUN, not looking for a life-time partner ...

 

so relax... & have fun with it

 

good luck...!

[Miss Mojo]

hi sam,

 

well, there are a few of things to keep in mind when dating girls:

 

1. don't be too available

 

i suppose you could liken this to the 'thrill of the chase'. when you are in a relationship, it is so easy to want to be available because you are rapt in that person. but things become very predictable when you are there at someones beck and call.

 

2. spend time on your own

 

...that way, you won't be so available. it is very important to still be your own person in a relationship. make time for yourself to do things on your own or with your friends - without her. this is a normal and healthy thing to do in a relationship. it's good to miss each other a bit, and do things without each other. you will always have plenty to talk about and things are unlikely to get boring.....and NEVER give up your friends. if things don't work out with a girl, who will you have then?

 

3. be unpredictable and spontaneous sometimes

 

do things for her that she wouldn't expect - but not all the time, otherwise being unpredictable will become *very* predictable.....take her somewhere you haven't been before....make plans without her that she wouldn't expect e.g. going out with the guys, spending a day at home on your own to play computer games.

 

just don't ever be afraid to be your own person. many of us love getting attention in a relationship, but for some people it can become smothering and boring after a while.

 

you'll be right, sam. relationships are a lot of trial and error, and we all go through it at one time or another