My wife expects me to support her unconditionally

[RA1]

My responses are my own (this in reply to someone who suggested my posts are my wife's.)

 

We are not speaking meaningfully at the moment because she is offended by my posts on this site.

 

She has gone out for the day. I was making some brownies just now and preheated the oven only to find that she had left a plastic dish in the oven. She called me on the phone to request a ride and I remarked on the plastic dish in the oven. She doesn't see it as heinous but just insists she made a mistake. But why would any sane person put plastic in the oven? You might do it if you want to store it temporarily but surely you would warn other people not to turn on the oven?

 

This sounds trivial but it is the sort of issue we face every day. She claims she is dyspraxic. Is dyspraxia something I have been overlooking or not taking sufficiently seriously all along? If I bring dyspraxia into the equation, how does it change things?

[somanymistakes]

She has gone out for the day. I was making some brownies just now and preheated the oven only to find that she had left a plastic dish in the oven. She called me on the phone to request a ride and I remarked on the plastic dish in the oven. She doesn't see it as heinous but just insists she made a mistake. But why would any sane person put plastic in the oven?

 

By accident. Isn't that what she said?

 

I've seen very organised, responsible people accidentally melt stuff in the over due to temporary scatterbrain and losing track of what's where.

 

In my opinion any sane person should check the oven first before starting to preheat it, just in case. (And just because of the number of times someone has left something in there, or failed to clean up a mess or something.)

 

As for dyspraxia I don't know much about it but it doesn't sound too relevant to the specific issues you're having with her. It sounds more like a symptom of never-my-fault syndrome to me.

[BaileyB]

My responses are my own (this in reply to someone who suggested my posts are my wife's.)

 

We are not speaking meaningfully at the moment because she is offended by my posts on this site.

 

She has gone out for the day. I was making some brownies just now and preheated the oven only to find that she had left a plastic dish in the oven. She called me on the phone to request a ride and I remarked on the plastic dish in the oven. She doesn't see it as heinous but just insists she made a mistake. But why would any sane person put plastic in the oven? You might do it if you want to store it temporarily but surely you would warn other people not to turn on the oven?

 

This sounds trivial but it is the sort of issue we face every day. She claims she is dyspraxic. Is dyspraxia something I have been overlooking or not taking sufficiently seriously all along? If I bring dyspraxia into the equation, how does it change things?

 

Dyspraxia is by definition a difficulty planning, coordinating, and executing motor skills, or movement. If she Is dyspraxia, she would have difficulty with running, jumping, handwriting, riding a bicycle, driving, etc... What in the world would make her think that she is dyspraxia, and why is she using this as an excuse for the fact that she left a plastic dish in the oven?

 

If anything, I would suggest that it is more likely that her difficulties in life are related to mental health, than dyspraxia.

 

No disrespect intended, but why do you stay with this woman? Life really should not be this difficult...

Edited May 24, 2017 by BaileyB

[BaileyB]

By accident. Isn't that what she said?

 

I've seen very organised, responsible people accidentally melt stuff in the over due to temporary scatterbrain and losing track of what's where.

 

In my opinion any sane person should check the oven first before starting to preheat it, just in case. (And just because of the number of times someone has left something in there, or failed to clean up a mess or something.)

 

As for dyspraxia I don't know much about it but it doesn't sound too relevant to the specific issues you're having with her. It sounds more like a symptom of never-my-fault syndrome to me.

 

I consider myself to be a sane, well-organized, and responsible person... but it would never occur to me to check the oven before preheating it. Perhaps it is just me, but I assume that there is no plastic in the oven when I preheat. And, who doesn't know that plastic does not go in the oven...

[anduina]

The published writers that I know are highly egocentric and your wife appears to fit the stereotype too. Since you've let her read the opening post, you can let her read the replies. Assert yourself in this marriage or she will continue stomping all over you.

[somanymistakes]

I consider myself to be a sane, well-organized, and responsible person... but it would never occur to me to check the oven before preheating it. Perhaps it is just me, but I assume that there is no plastic in the oven when I preheat. And, who doesn't know that plastic does not go in the oven...

 

I would not assume there would be plastic in the oven, but I check the oven before heating in case someone left a pan in it, because that happens a lot in a shared kitchen and it's a pain to have to find a place to put the hot pan later. Or left half a pan of brownies in there. Or made a pizza and dripped cheese all over the place. These things happen to you a few times, you learn to check the oven before turning it on.

 

Maybe I've just shared kitchens with more people?

 

And everyone knows plastic doesn't go into the oven but sometimes people are distracted and set something in a stupid place temporarily, or forget to remove things that they should have removed. No one intentionally cooks a pizza still on the styrofoam disc either but it definitely happens by accident sometimes.

[BaileyB]

I would not assume there would be plastic in the oven, but I check the oven before heating in case someone left a pan in it, because that happens a lot in a shared kitchen and it's a pain to have to find a place to put the hot pan later. Or left half a pan of brownies in there. Or made a pizza and dripped cheese all over the place. These things happen to you a few times, you learn to check the oven before turning it on.

 

Maybe I've just shared kitchens with more people?

 

And everyone knows plastic doesn't go into the oven but sometimes people are distracted and set something in a stupid place temporarily, or forget to remove things that they should have removed. No one intentionally cooks a pizza still on the styrofoam disc either but it definitely happens by accident sometimes.

 

I hear you. It's good practice, particularly if you are living with many people. No worries.

[MJJean]

If you're supporting her and her daughter then writing isn't her job. It's her hobby. A job pays the bills. Tell the Princesses to get actual pays the bills jobs. Maybe they'll learn to handle reality if they have to live in it.

 

P.S.

My ex-husbands mom paid his bills when he was younger. She's still paying his bills only now he's in his mid 40s with a new wife and new kids she also supports. When his mom dies he's screwed. She did him no favors. You aren't doing your stepdaughter any favors, either.