Fayella Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 My boyfriend, this girl and I work together. She used to get on well with my boyfriend when he was single and she expressed to others she wasn't interested in him in that way, my boyfriend and I eventually got together. Since then she barely speak to me, I have tried to make conversation with her but she's always very short and to the point. If I mention my boyfriend she always looks really uncomfortable. She's always asking after my boyfriend, wondering where he is and I've even caught her going to see him alone - once I was talking with him alone and I noticed a shadow near the bottom of the stairs, I went down and I saw her walking away from me. If they are in a group and I enter the room she will suddenly leave. Even today when she is the first to leave she stood waiting around for my boyfriend and as soon as he turned up she stood there with a big smile on her face then left. She doesn't speak to my boyfriend at all when I'm around and she's starting to copy what I wear. We all went out for a meal but she would not come regardless that she gets on with everyone there. It's becoming so stressful and I'm starting to become paranoid, I'm not sure if it's me or she really does like him. She's got to me that much that it's actually started arguments between my boyfriend and I when I shouldn't let it. I've tried being nice to her and civil but she throws it back in my face by either ignoring me or by making passive aggressive comments to me about my life. I don't want her to cause problems between my boyfriend and I, I've tried ignoring her, I've even spoke to her in the past about it and she's denied liking him. I don't know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 why were you bothering to talk to her? she prolly knows how to push your buttons, stop arguing with him, which she wants obvsly Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Exactly. When she is around make sure you are smiling and showing affection to your bf. Make it clear her obsession with him is not affecting your relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Well, if she does anything reportable, tell the boss. Otherwise, does your boyfriend realize she's trying to catch him alone? What does he say about it? If she flees when you're near, then make your presence known as much as possible, BUT when you're seen talking to her, always be seen with a smile on your face being helpful and professional so she can't go say you're being mean to her and blame the situation on you. Also, if you catch her asking where your bf is, say out loud, extra loud, for all to hear but while laughing so that it's a joke, Mary, every time I see you, you're looking for Ted! Bust her about it in front of other people but in a way they cannot criticize because you seem to be friendly and joking, but it may make someone aware and maybe they will keep an eye on her too or someone will say something to her and make her feel conspicuous about it from then on. Meanwhile, why are men the last ones who want to fix a situation like this at work? If they don't want them, then why would they let them deteriorate their relationship? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Yes, as peraph said call her out in front of people in a joking way the next time she asks where your bf is. This way others will be aware of her interest in him and she will know that they will suspect her too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 She may very well like your BF. But when he was single, your BF chose you. Ignore her. Be professional of course because you work to her but pay no more attention to her than you would any other piece of office equipment. You give her power when you fret about this. Stop. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 You all work together, is that right? Are you sure she doesn't work as a test pilot for a broomstick factory? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 I can't stress this enough....don't date coworkers. And this is a prime example. Hun if your BF isn't going to address this coworker's behavior then there is only one thing to do....find another job and remove yourself from this environment. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rainrhonda Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Copying your clothes...well that's creepy. This behavior sounds like a person overly obsessed with your relationship.. Or him. She reeks of jealousy. I would just ignore her and flaunt your happiness in front of her. If she lushes you for info about him or the relationship, try politely saying you don't discuss personal matters with co-workers, or at work. Really though your BF should probably take this signs a bit more seriously. I don't know if much can be done if you all have to work together, but he should acknowledge that something is definitely a little off here. In the movies people like this escalate to unhealthy levels of obsession... This is real life but, unstable people do exist. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Start dressing like she does. That should fix her. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Even if she WAS after your boyfriend, it wouldn't matter unless he chose her. If he chose her, then he's not your boyfriend anymore. So, you have no problem. Other than being confident and secure with yourself. Confident and secure with your relationship. If you're confident and secure, it wouldn't matter what either of them did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 It sucks that Fayell, the OP, never came back to respond or even like any of the responses. I hope the work rival didn't murder her. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 We'll close this up till the thread starter comes back, if they want it reopened then alert on my post Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts