iowadivorce Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 I have some questions that some of you might have information about. My son wants to marry a woman who recently had a baby - Iowa She is married to a man in prison in Iowa She is originally from Iowa but moved to Wisconsin and moved back to Iowa about 8 months ago. The baby was conceived in Wisconsin by a different man than her husband or my son. She has told us neither would want to have parental rights to the baby and she wants a divorce as quickly as possible. I know that Iowa has a 1 year residency requirement Will her husband in prison have an impact on the 1 year waiting period How will child support work in this situation, since she is on social services Can the child support come back on my son if the biological father wants to sign over his parental rights if he marries and adopts the baby Very complicated.... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Talk your son out of marrying this woman. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Sounds complicated, he should talk to an attorney. Also sounds very dysfunctional, have you tried to talk him out of this, so many red flags with this woman Link to post Share on other sites
Titanll Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Where are the LS lawyers when we need em. Why are you asking if your son will be on the hook for child support? He wants to marry her, not divorce her, right? Is this gonna be a short marriage? Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 How about you tell your son not to get involved further with such a red flagged person? What's her husband in jail thinking? His "wife" gets pregnant by another guy while she's married. And gets with a third guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iowadivorce Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 We have learned a little about these issues as time goes by. They just got an apartment. She has a mental disability and he has high functioning autism. His judgement is not that good. Try to explain something to him and he does the exact opposite of what you are trying to tell him. Already, we are seeing some mental issues. She had a baby from the husband taken away from her and put up for adoption. He already bought her a ring and asked her to be his fiance. Baby is currently in hospital due to an infection. Social services also involved do to prior baby history. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 If he adopts the baby, he will be responsible for child support thereafter just as if it was his natural child. What is concerning is he's going into this assuming it's not going to last, which is a real possibility. Complications will arise if the father ever gets out of prison. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 Oh dear. Does your son have any other trusted counselors in his life who may listen? Another thing is marriage may change the amount of government services she gets. Taking her money away may cool her ardor for your son. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iowadivorce Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 At this time I don't believe the husband even knows about the baby. She either had a restraining order against the husband or the biological father. We are learning this a little at a time by our son. Not much coming to her until we ask her directly after we learn something Link to post Share on other sites
Author iowadivorce Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 From what we know she is on SSI disability. He is currently working part-time for 2 jobs. He just got a welding certificate. Many people have told him indirectly that it is not a good decision he is making. The only good thing is that he can't marry her right away. She tried to get him to put his name on the birth certificate, but we told him it would be fraud if he did. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 From what we know she is on SSI disability. He is currently working part-time for 2 jobs. He just got a welding certificate. Many people have told him indirectly that it is not a good decision he is making. The only good thing is that he can't marry her right away. She tried to get him to put his name on the birth certificate, but we told him it would be fraud if he did. If she is on SSI the minute they marry she loses her SSI & her medical coverage. Make sure she knows that because she's not going to willing to give that up for love. Depending on the costs of their apartment, if the value of the shelter exceed the SSI assets cap which is really low, like $2,000 per year, he may have already put her status at issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iowadivorce Posted May 19, 2017 Author Share Posted May 19, 2017 They just got the apartment. He is primarily supporting her. She does use some of the SSI for rent and for food. But, he used his money for the deposit and to purchase the furniture for the apartment. I am not quite sure what you mean about the threshold in regards to the apartment she is using, since she is gving a portion toward rent and food. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 From what we know she is on SSI disability. He is currently working part-time for 2 jobs. He just got a welding certificate. Many people have told him indirectly that it is not a good decision he is making. The only good thing is that he can't marry her right away. She tried to get him to put his name on the birth certificate, but we told him it would be fraud if he did. I'd guess all you can do is offer rational advice and a shoulder to cry on when she dumps him. Sounds like he's going to go his own way, painful as it will be for you to watch. My condolences... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 They just got the apartment. He is primarily supporting her. She does use some of the SSI for rent and for food. But, he used his money for the deposit and to purchase the furniture for the apartment. I am not quite sure what you mean about the threshold in regards to the apartment she is using, since she is gving a portion toward rent and food. SSI is charity care. It's for people who never earned enough money to qualify for SSDI. If during the course of 1 year she has access to assets that are valued over a certain amount, she is not qualified for SSI These are the limits taken from the SSA.gov website: Monthly Federal Payment Standard (dollars) Individual 735 Couple 1,103 Cost-of-Living Adjustment (percent) 0.3 Resource Limits (dollars) Individual 2,000 Couple 3,000 Monthly Income Exclusions (dollars) Earned Income a 65 Unearned Income 20 Substantial Gainful Activity (SGA) Level for the Nonblind Disabled (dollars) 1,170 So if she earns more than $1,170 per year, gets somebody else like your son to pay more than $20 per month for her & I'm sure he's paying more than $20 for food or if she has more than $2,000 a year in resources, her benefits will get cut off. Resources mean things like the cost of housing. Say the apartment they live in is $500 per month which is $6,000 per year. Her share would be $3,000 which is more than her total yearly allowance, not counting utilities. So because your son is in that apartment, she is in essence defrauding the gov't. As soon as SSI gets wind of that they will cut her off & they may opt to sue her to get their money back. They could prosecute if they are mad enough. Read this FAQ sheet from SSA: https://www.ssa.gov/ssi/text-income-ussi.htm Link to post Share on other sites
FBCoach23 Posted May 19, 2017 Share Posted May 19, 2017 I have some questions that some of you might have information about. My son wants to marry a woman who recently had a baby - Iowa She is married to a man in prison in Iowa She is originally from Iowa but moved to Wisconsin and moved back to Iowa about 8 months ago. The baby was conceived in Wisconsin by a different man than her husband or my son. She has told us neither would want to have parental rights to the baby and she wants a divorce as quickly as possible. I know that Iowa has a 1 year residency requirement Will her husband in prison have an impact on the 1 year waiting period How will child support work in this situation, since she is on social services Can the child support come back on my son if the biological father wants to sign over his parental rights if he marries and adopts the baby Very complicated.... Very complicated situation indeed. The fact that she's said neither want to have parental rights to the child. She should follow through with the divorce procedure and have the man served. She'll have to have a way to serve him the papers which she can figure out which facility he is located by going to the Iowa Department of Corrections website and doing a search of his legal name. Then she'll be able to get the address to the facility and they'll get the papers to him. He then will have to respond etc. Once the process gets moving forward the judge will rule whether or not child support will be ordered. However, if the man signs his rights away during the process there will be no child support ordered and he will have zero rights to the child. When it comes to your son; if he adopts this child he will then legally take the responsibility of the child as if he was the biological father. So, for example: If this woman and the man get divorced and he doesn't want anything to do with the kid. The man has no rights to the child, including child support. So, down the road your son adopts this child he will be the responsible person as if he was the biological father. If she and him happen to split/divorce, its almost certain one or the other will pay some sort of child support. The fact that this woman already has had DHS in her life, doesn't sit well for her in ANY custody situation. HOpe that kind of clarifies some of it. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 How long has your son been seeing her? This is a nightmare waiting to happen! Just tell him to date her for at least 5 years. Marrying her is an unnecessary decision, which can potentially lead to unnecessary results! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author iowadivorce Posted May 20, 2017 Author Share Posted May 20, 2017 He has only been going with her for about 3 months. Originally, he said he would wait about a year and a half. Until, he got out of school. He went for a certificate instead of a 2 year program in welding. We are encouraging to make it a long engagement to get them both to know each other better. She has been pushing to get a divorce and get married right away. However, there are many obstacles currently in her way. Link to post Share on other sites
health Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 (edited) 3 months is nothing. Everyone knows this. Of course she's already entangled, she did it to herself. You should have your son read these comments. Or just tell him this: Can he accept raising someone else's kid, potentially paying child and spousal support to a woman who's dating another guy? Cause that is a very real outcome here. Edited May 20, 2017 by health Link to post Share on other sites
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