Jump to content

OW for almost 2 years, now pregnant and terrified ** Updated **

smalltownwriter

By smalltownwriter,
in The Other Man / Woman

 Share Followers 5

Recommended Posts

MidnightBlue1980

MidnightBlue1980

Posted
Posted
He keeps viewing my Snapchat stories. Why? He removed me from all other social media. He responds to it. One was a picture of an outfit. "I approve of this choice," he said. Why is he tormenting me? I begged him to stay and he left.

 

He torments you because he gets a kick out of your adoration. It's fun for him. The more you hurt, the better he feels. He doesn't actually want to lose that ego boast so he keeps you on the hook with a comment here, a comment there.

 

These guys are all the same (some women too). It's called feeling good at someone else's expense.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
sandylee1

sandylee1

Posted
Posted
I am willing to accept all criticisms, but there is no evidence to suggest he cheated on his first wife, so I don't think that is a fair assessment.

 

I thought you mentioned a previous OW.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...
  • Author
smalltownwriter

smalltownwriter

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I’m struggling. Mostly with anger and confusion. Last week he asked me to quit, because he thought I was dating a particular guy he was super jealous of. I’m not.

 

Saturday was a milestone birthday for him. He got a kitten. Not just a kitten, but the kitten WE were supposed to get. An orange cat. He and my son collaborated on the name. So he got the damn orange cat, posted a picture on IG of the Cat and then wrote his first and middle name in the caption. The middle name was the one we had decided on, that my son had helped with. Why would he do that? Why would he post it for me to see? Who posts their new cats middle name? Why does he want to torture me? I don’t understand. He’s the one who left. Can’t he leave me in peace?

Link to post
Share on other sites
BaileyB

BaileyB

Posted
Posted
I’m struggling. Mostly with anger and confusion. Last week he asked me to quit, because he thought I was dating a particular guy he was super jealous of. I’m not.

 

Saturday was a milestone birthday for him. He got a kitten. Not just a kitten, but the kitten WE were supposed to get. An orange cat. He and my son collaborated on the name. So he got the damn orange cat, posted a picture on IG of the Cat and then wrote his first and middle name in the caption. The middle name was the one we had decided on, that my son had helped with. Why would he do that? Why would he post it for me to see? Who posts their new cats middle name? Why does he want to torture me? I don’t understand. He’s the one who left. Can’t he leave me in peace?

 

Why would he do that? Just because he can get to you... WHEN are you going to understand - this is not a nice guy? He has treated you terribly... time and time again. It's not going to stop now...

 

It goes without saying... He doesn't get any say in who you are dating and he has no right to be jealous.

 

I'm sorry that you are struggling. Use your anger to stay strong - stay away from this man, don't give him the satisfaction of getting to you, and NEVER do this again...

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
anna121

anna121

Posted
Posted

He does this because he can. Because he is a moral predator.

 

You would do far, far better to get away from him every way that you can.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
oldbutcurious

oldbutcurious

Posted
Posted

STW, I did not go through all the posts, but if you are still pregnant with the baby, can you focus on the baby and your son? And your business as well? Distance from him, not mind him for a while, relax and give him the space he needs.

 

Some guys are like that - need to see and feel how it is w/o being charmed / bothered (however they may see it) by their women for a period of time. This is subjective, about how long.

 

Maybe, something else will come up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup

whichwayisup

Posted
Posted
I’m struggling. Mostly with anger and confusion. Last week he asked me to quit, because he thought I was dating a particular guy he was super jealous of. I’m not.

 

Saturday was a milestone birthday for him. He got a kitten. Not just a kitten, but the kitten WE were supposed to get. An orange cat. He and my son collaborated on the name. So he got the damn orange cat, posted a picture on IG of the Cat and then wrote his first and middle name in the caption. The middle name was the one we had decided on, that my son had helped with. Why would he do that? Why would he post it for me to see? Who posts their new cats middle name? Why does he want to torture me? I don’t understand. He’s the one who left. Can’t he leave me in peace?

 

He knows you're lurking his fb page and he's wanting to be an a-hole on purpose to hurt you.

 

Leave yourself in peace by blocking him so you can't see any of his social media. You're actively looking and by doing that only hurting yourself more.

 

I really hope some day soon you can really grieve the loss and let go.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Maddieandtae

Maddieandtae

Posted
Posted

Staying in any form of contact keeps you engaged and stuck.

 

Who knows really why anyone does anything? We are never in anyone's heads so it's all speculation as to the real reason of another's actions.

 

You can analyze your behavior though and try taking him out of the equation to see why you do what you do.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
sandylee1

sandylee1

Posted
Posted

Why are you following him on IG?

 

I suggest you get your own cat as well.

 

Thud is what hsppebds age you intruder your child to your married boyfriend. You made your son a part of this.

 

He doesn't get to tell you to quit or who to date. As long as you continue engaging with him, you won't move forward.

 

I imagine his daughter is the one passing with the kitten the most.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Bittersweetie

Bittersweetie

Posted
Posted
Staying in any form of contact keeps you engaged and stuck.

 

Who knows really why anyone does anything? We are never in anyone's heads so it's all speculation as to the real reason of another's actions.

 

You can analyze your behavior though and try taking him out of the equation to see why you do what you do.

 

THIS. I know how hard it is to move from "why is he doing this to me?" to "why am I allowing this to get to me?" But it is such a more productive way to use your energy. One thing I learned after everything I went through is that there are some questions in life I will never know the answer to. And I could either A) let it get to me for years and years or B) let it go and move on. I've done both and believe me Option B is a much healthier choice.

Link to post
Share on other sites
imsosad

imsosad

Posted
Posted

Give yourself a gift: block him on all social media.

Blocking him is an expression of self love. It will help you heal.

He does it because he wants to mess with your head. By following him on IG you're are giving him the means with which he can hurt you. He wants to confuse you. He wants you to obsess over his cat. Why? Because it prolongs his ego boost. It enables him to still get high on fumes from the affair.

If someone was coming at you, would you hand them a knife?

He's coming for your heart and mind. Don't let him. Take his knife away. Block him. You will feel So. Much. Better.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Crazelnut

Crazelnut

Posted
Posted

Why are you following him? Why have you not blocked him? Why are you intentionally causing yourself pain? This is not HIM hurting you; this is YOU hurting yourself. NC.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Bufo

Bufo

Posted
Posted

Some free advice. Consult an attorney about a paternity suit. Child support

and medical insurance for the child. Without a court order you will be dependent on his good graces. Of which there are none.

Link to post
Share on other sites
elaine567

elaine567

Posted
Posted
Some free advice. Consult an attorney about a paternity suit. Child support

and medical insurance for the child. Without a court order you will be dependent on his good graces. Of which there are none.

 

You didn't read the thread.

Link to post
Share on other sites
 Share
Followers 5
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...