I broke my boyfriend's heart.

[Dreamero]

I am a 20 year old female, and my boyfriend is 21. We have been dating for almost 2 years.

June 2016: I read messages between my boyfriend and another girl, and I believed he was cheating on me. He would hang out with her (and their group of friends) until really late at night, and we argued a lot, so I had suspicions. So, in response (I now know that this was low, selfish, and disgusting), I told another guy that I would have sex with him if I wasn't in a relationship.

August 2016: Things got better, we stopped fighting. He saw the message that I sent the other guy and cried. I broke his heart, and I vowed to prove myself.

December 2016: We started fighting again. One day, we had a really bad fight, it turned physical, and told me he did not want to be with me anymore. This time, I texted different man a semi-nude picture. I felt worthless. I knew this would hurt him. He found out, and I tried to hide it from him for two weeks, I should not have done that.

May 2017: We have been trying to make our relationship work. I have came to terms with my insecurity, selfishness, and cheating. I have shown remorse, and hurting him is something that I never want to do again. I want nothing more than to prove to him that I am worthy of his love and trust again. Today, he said that he does not know if he can ever love and trust me again because he believes that I am going to cheat and lie again.

We know that there aren't set "steps" to combat this, but we would like to know any words of advice. He does not know what will make him love and trust me again, but I am willing to do anything.

 

 

tl;dr: I created problems in my relationship because of my insecurities. I cheated on my boyfriend. He does not know if he can forgive me.

[Simple Logic]

I am a 20 year old female, and my boyfriend is 21. We have been dating for almost 2 years.

June 2016: I read messages between my boyfriend and another girl, and I believed he was cheating on me. He would hang out with her (and their group of friends) until really late at night, and we argued a lot, so I had suspicions. So, in response (I now know that this was low, selfish, and disgusting), I told another guy that I would have sex with him if I wasn't in a relationship.

August 2016: Things got better, we stopped fighting. He saw the message that I sent the other guy and cried. I broke his heart, and I vowed to prove myself.

December 2016: We started fighting again. One day, we had a really bad fight, it turned physical, and told me he did not want to be with me anymore. This time, I texted different man a semi-nude picture. I felt worthless. I knew this would hurt him. He found out, and I tried to hide it from him for two weeks, I should not have done that.

May 2017: We have been trying to make our relationship work. I have came to terms with my insecurity, selfishness, and cheating. I have shown remorse, and hurting him is something that I never want to do again. I want nothing more than to prove to him that I am worthy of his love and trust again. Today, he said that he does not know if he can ever love and trust me again because he believes that I am going to cheat and lie again.

We know that there aren't set "steps" to combat this, but we would like to know any words of advice. He does not know what will make him love and trust me again, but I am willing to do anything.

 

 

tl;dr: I created problems in my relationship because of my insecurities. I cheated on my boyfriend. He does not know if he can forgive me.

 

If you argue all the time, the question isn't if he can forgive you, the question is does he even want to try. Grow up and quit arguing over BS.

[basil67]

I agree that the underlying arguing is the bigger problem. What kind of stuff are you arguing over? And how does it become so heated that the two of you get physical?

[d0nnivain]

December 2016: We started fighting again. One day, we had a really bad fight, it turned physical, and told me he did not want to be with me anymore.

 

 

 

What? If you two are physically fighting you need to end this relationship. If he hit you run! If you hit him get yourself into anger management immediately.

 

 

You also need to work on your conflict resolution skills. In response to your unfounded suspicions that your BF was cheating, you told another guy you would have sex with him. After another fight you sent risqué photos of yourself to a second man. What were you thinking? If you continue these ill advised choices you are going to get a reputation as a tease or worse.

 

 

This is twice you have behaved badly. I understand why your BF doesn't think he can trust you. What are you going to do after the next fight, actually have sex with somebody else in a misguided attempt to get revenge on your BF?

 

 

If your BF does take you back you need to work on yourself to figure out what causes the fights & what makes you do dumb things in the aftermath. Until you stop throwing gas on these fires nothing will ever get better