Boyfriend of three months with four month year old baby gives me silent treatment

[Lu88]

My cousin set me up with this guy who lives in paris. Initially we talked as friends but then he expressed he wanted more and came down to see me in London. During that visit he revealed that he has a 4months year old baby. That the mother of the child and he were friends with benefits who got pregnant unexpectedly and told me nobody his family do not know about the baby. He promised to buy me a ticket to Paris since I have not been since talking to him. Now he keeps saying he has money issues and that I should understand. I am freelancing but no fixed job at the moment. Two months after he came to visit me he continues to say the same thing- he has other obligations. During the last argument he said "if you really want to see me and can't wait for me to buy the ticket, then why don't you buy the ticket yourself?". Fair enough, but he knows my situation which I mentioned to him at the beginning when he wanted to start a relationship. However, he did not have the money. He begun saying that if I really liked him I would come over and the fact that I am not making that effort I am not that into him and that from now on, if I want to see him I should pay for my own ticket and if he wants to see me it would be the same. finally, he said- "i have been talking to someone for over two hours, who is doing my head in and manipulating me to pay for her to come over". To which I replied, that if he had been more open in his communication regarding plans to see me and whether or not he can afford it then I would not have to seem like I am nagging him and that since he is now referring to me as "someone" then i take it he no longer wants me and he has not replied or called and it has been five days. We have not blocked each other on whatsapp or Snap but I see him online. I also have not contacted him because I feel that way he spoke to me was so disrespectful. Is it over? By the way, he broke up with me over text two weeks before this argument over lack of communication.

[anika99]

He offered to buy you a ticket but realized afterwards he can't buy you a ticket because he doesn't have the funds. So what do you want him to do about that? Why are you fighting with him over it? It was careless of him to make a promise he couldn't keep but for you to keep harping on him about it makes you sound worse than him. What's he supposed to do? Rob a bank? He's only met you in person one time, he doesn't owe you a trip to paris.

 

That aside this doesn't sound like a relationship that's going anywhere. You've met up once and now you two are having arguments. Geez, what's the point? Dating and falling in love is supposed fun and romantic, it's not supposed to be petty childish arguments on the phone with someone you can't even see. He has no money and you have no money, it's pointless.

[ExpatInItaly]

Meh, you two are already arguing and have broken up once in just three months.

 

It's not working, and LDR doesn't appear to be feasible for either of you. I would wish him well and move on.

[d0nnivain]

Way too much drama & BS for such a fledgling relationship. He has a baby, a baby mamma, neither of you have money, this is an LDR . . . ugh. There's no joy in here. Let it be over. Focus on improving your income stream & date somebody locally.