LindsM7 Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 I am confused and don't know what to think of all of this. My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago Monday. It was a LDR that lasted four months or so. It was a pretty mutual break-up. I by no means wanted to end but did not feel like he was putting in the effort that he needed to so that is why I did not think it would go anywhere. His reasons were that the long distance was too hard, he felt like he started backing off when he started getting close to me because of our circumstances and that there was no way of us having a normal relationship anytime soon being that we were both in different cities three hours apart. So that was last Monday. We have not talked on the phone since then. Neither of us called each other all weekend, etc. I have not emailed him since the break up but he continues to email me daily asking about my day, life, what I have going on. I respond because in our situation we really have no hard feelings...it basically just did not work because of bad timing. I just do not understand why he is keeping in contact like this. We both discussed how we wanted to be friends...but I just did not know quite how it would go. Any similar experiences? In my case, I feel like it is something I can handle because of the fact that I came to the reality that he was not putting in as much effort as I needed him to. In a way, being friends like we are is a nice change because there is not all the added pressure to make things work. I just keep wondering what he is thinking. Is he missing me, is he just being nice, what is he doing??? Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
kgal Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Did you two have much of a physical relationship? I think breakups are definitely harder after initiating contact... once you engage kissing, touching, sharing.. the emotions get more involved. I broke things off more than once w/the guy I'm with now... the first time.. we hadn't even met up.. so it was easy to go to friendship right away. We ended up stirring things up again.. and now we are serious. Maybe he's trying to prove that he can put more effort into the 'ship? If you're still curious..ask him what's goin on. Good Luck!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Well, if there's no hard feelings and the breakup was genuinely mutual, why not stay friends? Exes can make very good friends, in the right circumstances and with the right boundaries. After all, almost by definition you should get on rather well I'd be more hesitant on the timing though. You may find that contact this soon after the break has some quite painful moments. My own tendency in your shoes would be to do low contact for a couple of months, *then* go back to being friends. On the other hand, if you think he's trying to prove he *can* be attentive, and you would want him back under these circumstances, then go for it. Link to post Share on other sites
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