4 year relationship ended, dont know what i feel

[Blanco]

OP, I wish you will with your efforts, but I've been down this road too many times not to know that you're just walking into more devastating heartache.

[Midnight.Amber]

I think you should listen to Blanco, and to d0nnivain.

 

I am confused though. You said in your original post you had grown apart and that you had “lost feelings for each other.”

 

So I am curious, what’s changed? Other than your discovering she no longer wants you or wants to be with you.

 

She’s moved on, partying, most likely dating other men.

 

I am not one to tell others how they feel, but from what I can tell, this is about your EGO. And hurt pride. You simply cannot believe she no longer wants you and it’s killing you, or killing your ego to be more precise.

 

You say how great she was (is), a 10/10, etc. Well if she was so great, why did you become so complacent while in the relationship? You also said something was missing, while in the relationship. And again, that you had lost feelings for each other and grown apart.

 

Again I ask why? When she was all these wonderful things you deem her to be now that you're apart? See where I'm going here?

 

I think what’s happening is your ego and pride are bruised and you are in a state of “longing” for that which you don't have. Her. That’s what longing is. Pining away for that which you don’t have. And I speak from experience, longing is very powerful emotion and can feel very intense. But still, it's not love.

 

Loving is care and nurturing of what you do have, which sadly you failed to do while you had it. Harsh reality to face.

 

This is also why, imo, couples often get back together. When they’re in that “longing” state. But 95% of the time, once they get back together, they realize nothing’s really changed, it’s the same ole sh*t and they break up again. Throwing them into another state of longing, they get back together, rinse, repeat. Ugh!!

 

Anyway, nuff said from me, just my $.02. But please consider what I’ve written, I think it bears at least that before you go up and moving to be with her.

 

I also agree with, I think it was d0nnivan, who said you are projecting your own feelings on to her.

 

You are missing her, you are longing for her, so you assume she feels same for you. That is projecting.

 

The reality is she has done nothing to indicate that this is how she feels. Quite the opposite actually.

 

Look I know it’s painful to accept this. So instead you shove it done and pretend she's missing you, aching for you, longing for you (as you are), you are going to go claim her as yours forever after, proclaiming your undying love and riding off into the sunset together. Okay slight exaggeration there lol, I couldn't help myself.

 

I am not saying this to mock you, I promise. But this is what it sounds like to me from reading this thread.

 

I am really sorry you’re in so much pain though. But as Blanco said, we’ve all been there, done that. And we’ve gotten through it, wiser and stronger than before.

 

Take care and good luck moving forward!

Edited June 30, 2017 by Midnight.Amber

[vurtne]

Met her today, to have a chat on if she would be open to start seeing eachother again if i were to get into university in her city.

 

we meet and spoke and i explained to her what i think went wrong in the relationship and How we driften apart. I explained to her that i have started to look for apartment and Jobs in different cities as i dont know where i Will end up.

 

She told Me she was not open for that and i accepted it, she does not feel that way anymore for Me.

 

we had our closure talk were we spoke about our relationship and what went wrong etc she has No romantic feelings for me and neither do i, its just this damn longing "ego".

 

I asked her if she believes we Will get back together. She Said i dont think about it that way. I asked her if she still found Me attractive etc just to get some closure.

 

I told her that maybe once Both of us have grown and been apart for very long maybe we could put the sprint back in our handgrenade.

 

She Said i have Done nothing wrong and we just have died, she said she does not talk to Anyone or have met Anyone else so that was Good as well.

 

I asked her if she thought i had been a Good boyfriend she Said everything has been Nice and that we never had an argue in 4 years.

 

I told her that after the last time i was in gothenburg with her i told My mother i dont know what i want with her anymore. She told me that she Did not want it to turn out this way but that we just started drifting apart.

 

I told her i dont wish her anything bad in this world and that i just hope life goes well for her. I told her i Will always Love her and she told me she Will always Love me.

 

She Said that she hopes i find someone who loves Me just as Much as she did i told her i hope that she finds someone who can appreciate all those things she does.

 

I hugged her and hold her hand and spoke her petname she Did not tell mine i asked her why she Said she does not want to Send Any mixed signals.

 

I asked How she has been and if she have been sad she Said that she is happy but have thought about Me a lot. I told her i have been ok but that i am starting so feel sort of relief.

 

I asked her How she felt about the breakup if it was "ha i dissad you" or if she thought it was more of a mutual thing.

 

She Said that it was on her initiative but that she knows that we Both know it was the right thing.

 

I told her that it just feels like i somewhere try to find My feelings for her but that it just says stop somewhere.

 

I told her that i had bought something for her which i would give her either way How this Conversation turns out. I went to the car to get a red rose i gave it to her and she said.

 

You are so sweet, you know i Love flowers.

 

I told her that she can see it as a sign of thank you for our relationship.

 

I went out of the car and i asked her "do you believe in what your friend said" she had told her that she deserved someone better.

 

She said dont you care about her, you know thats not How it is.

 

I went out of the car and into mine, when i got home i texted her "it was really Nice having this Conversation with you" she replied "i think so as well".

 

There were no tears or anything everything was friendly and calm we just dont feel anything for eachother anymore.

 

I called her mother as k havent had Any closure with her family, i told her How Much i appreciated all the things they have Done to Me and i like Them a lot.

 

I am so suprised i felt like this when i was there, i felt absolutely nothing for her No romantic feelings what so ever we have just died.

 

This gave Me such an amazing closure that i felt i needed i cannot explain it, it is almost as i feel relieved we are so Done that it just cannot Me more done.

 

I always had My doubts with this girl, i dont think i ever was "fully in love" with her.

 

She is a big part of My life and she always Will be, now we both are going to move on.

 

BR

[Midnight.Amber]

vurtne, wow man, I am glad you had this talk and realize now it was just longing and ego, and that you got your closure and can move on.

 

As for me, damn after reading your post, I feeling like crying!! lol

 

Not sure if it was the way you worded your post or what, or perhaps it's just the acknowledgment of yet another love gone sour and two people going separate ways after many happy years together, but yeah I am nearly in tears, but again happy for you that you came to this 'place' (emotionally) and that you will now be able to close this chapter and start anew.

 

Best of luck!

Edited June 30, 2017 by Midnight.Amber

[vurtne]

vurtne, wow man, I am glad you had this talk and realize now it was just longing and ego, and that you got your closure and can move on.

 

As for me, damn after reading your post, I feeling like crying!! Not sure if it was the way you worded your post or what, or perhaps it's just the acknowledgment of yet another love gone sour and two people going separate ways after many happy years together, but yeah I am nearly in tears, but again happy for you that you came to this 'place' (emotionally) and that you will now be able to close this chapter and start anew.

 

Best of luck!

 

I am happy to, i told her this is probably the last time we will ever speak about us and what is going to happen now is that you and i are just going to drift further and further away from eachother.

 

I told her that we will never be only friends to which she replied "I don't have a problem just being friends" i told her this is your first relationship, you will see what is going to happen now...

[springy]

Glad you got your talk. Hope this gave you the closure you wanted. You feel good at this moment but brace yourself - oftentimes a big crash comes after you come down from the high of meeting with the ex. Hopefully your questions were answered, you won't over analyze the things she said and can now put this behind you.

[vurtne]

Now afterwards i still feel the longiness and still the hurt of the ego.

 

I really know this was the right thing i dont want to have her in Any romantical way, atleast not in a relationship i simply dont love hero i just want her to Love Me....

 

Did i make a fool out of myself today? Saying i mighg get into Uni There and asking her if she would be open to start seeing Me again. Was it to Much with the rose or did she think it was a bit cute and sweet.

 

I just find it do hard o believe that feelings can be vanished just like that.

 

I just want that she Wants Me as Much as she Wanted Me before and that i dont want to want her. Is that insane?

 

How do i get rid of this feeling, i feel so cruel that i feel that way i really do i dont want to feel like some kind of psychopath wanting to get ego stroked.

 

Can anyone please give me some tips on how to get rid of this emotion?

 

I just find it so hard to completely erase the feeling of rejection.

 

I just find it so hard to believe that she is more or less completely over me and i still have to deal with this rejection.

 

Finding it so hard that she really is happier off without me...

 

 

Its like, i really could not help what i felt for this girl i really could not.

Edited July 1, 2017 by vurtne

[BC1980]

It sounds like you still love her. I mean, just from the outside, it seems like you love her because you obviously want her back. You also keep saying you don't have feelings for her like you are trying to convince yourself and save face. I'm not saying you are lying, just the impression I am getting.

 

However, I am glad that she was straight with you during the talk. She left no room for any further relationship, which is the kindest thing she could have done.

[Midnight.Amber]

It sounds like you still love her. I mean, just from the outside, it seems like you love her because you obviously want her back. .

 

He said he doesn't want her back. That he realized he doesn't love her, that there was always something missing.

 

He just wants her to want him, like she used to. He's finding it difficult to accept that she doesn't. That's not love, that's ego, which he admitted.

 

And he feels rejected.

 

vurtne, I don't really have any advice for you because I don't have that big of an ego so I can't really relate. I don't like getting rejected, it sucks and it hurts, but I get over it relatively quickly for this reason.

 

I take my ego out of it, and realize, we just weren't right for each other.

 

I don't base my value on one man's rejection of me, I kind of see it as a blessing actually, an opportunity for me to find the right man, the man who won't reject me and who accepts me, all of me. And vice versa.

 

I don't know, maybe you can try that too.

 

Instead of dwelling on the rejection, focus on how unfilled you were while in the relationship. How you felt something was missing and that you both had lost feelings for each other. That it just never felt really right.

Take your ego out of it.

 

In any event, I hope you feel better soon, you will I promise.

 

You just talked so this is fresh. You will probably also be going back and forth for awhile, experiencing lots of different emotions.

 

Just let yourself feel them, no matter how painful. Eventually they will pass.

[vurtne]

It sounds like you still love her. I mean, just from the outside, it seems like you love her because you obviously want her back. You also keep saying you don't have feelings for her like you are trying to convince yourself and save face. I'm not saying you are lying, just the impression I am getting.

 

However, I am glad that she was straight with you during the talk. She left no room for any further relationship, which is the kindest thing she could have done.

 

I Love her as a person yes and i think about her all the time. It is like i SM in Love with the Idea of her and not her in person.

 

When i was with her today i absolutely felt nothing not a single thing i thought i would be nervoud which i was the first 5 minutes.

 

We really just drifted apart like to comets in space. I told her i always have Said to myself that i should have met her when i was 28 and not 18.

 

But its just nothing There anymore i just really wish we would Love eachother, its something i cant explain.

 

Like last time we had sex i just felt like i was ****ing a sibling. I have zero affection towards her sexually left.

 

 

 

Can Anyone give Me some clarification? Of what it is that i Am feeling

Edited July 1, 2017 by vurtne

[Midnight.Amber]

 

Can Anyone give Me some clarification? Of what it is that i Am feeling

 

I'm not an expert but to me, what you're feeling is the loss; of what once was, and what will never be again.

 

You were together many years, so that loss is going to be huge! And very sad and painful, even though you both know it's for the best. That is just wasn't right.

 

Not sure if you read my previous post above yours, but just let yourself feel these emotions. Don't suppress.

 

Eventually they will pass. It may take awhile and like I said in my previous post, you will be going back and forth. Some days will be better than others.

 

But yeah, it sounds like what you're feeling and experiencing is the loss.

 

Which is normal, again you were together many years.

 

Personally, I would think it was strange if you didn't feel the loss.

 

I am sure she's feeling it too.

 

But it's for the best as you both attested to.

 

Feel better vurtne, and ((hugs)).

[vurtne]

I'm not an expert but to me, what you're feeling is the loss; of what once was, and what will never be again.

 

You were together many years, so that loss is going to be huge! And very sad and painful, even though you both know it's for the best. That is just wasn't right.

 

Not sure if you read my previous post above yours, but just let yourself feel these emotions. Don't suppress.

 

Eventually they will pass. It may take awhile and like I said in my previous post, you will be going back and forth. Some days will be better than others.

 

But yeah, it sounds like what you're feeling and experiencing is the loss.

 

Which is normal, again you were together many years.

 

Personally, I would think it was strange if you didn't feel the loss.

 

I am sure she's feeling it too.

 

But it's for the best as you both attested to.

 

Feel better vurtne, and ((hugs)).

 

 

Yeah i think you have a point There. We were together for so damn long 22% of My life to be Exact.

 

I Truly hope she Also feels the loss just as i do. I really never want to hurt this girl, she deserves someone better.

 

I just know that she Will meet some ******* who Will hurt hur and that does not feel good. She is just to plain to be loved, i had such a hard time getting in s relationship with her the first time and i am Sure the next one Also Will....

 

I just hope that she someday realizes what we had was special and that maybe she should have agreed to fought for us.

 

She has so damn Much to offer and she is so kind.

[Blanco]

I remember leaving a relationship that had long overstayed its welcome. I felt initial relief, but I also felt loss. I felt the loss of leaving behind what had been a major part of my life for years. I felt the loss of what our lives together might have been like. I felt the loss of the person I wanted her to be, but never really was.

 

And that's the rub: As much as it hurt to lose her and the relationship, I realized that I had attached a great deal of emotion to potential and possibilities, not what really was.

[Midnight.Amber]

 

I just hope that she someday realizes what we had was special and that maybe she should have agreed to fought for us.

 

She has so damn Much to offer and she is so kind.

 

See, this is the back and forth I was talking about.

 

A few minutes ago, you were just sayin you didn't feel a damn thing for her when you talked today. That the feelings just weren't there, that what was between you had died.

 

Now you're saying you wish she had fought for you (for us)?

 

There was nothing to fight for though, you said yourself it had died.

 

It's okay though, like I said, there will be a lot of back and forths as you move through these different stages of grief and loss.

 

Perhaps it might be helpful to get on the internet and find articles or books that help people deal with a loss too.

 

Worth a shot, no? I have always turned to books to help me get through various situations in my life.

 

Books are great and I've learned a great deal from reading them.

[vurtne]

I remember leaving a relationship that had long overstayed its welcome. I felt initial relief, but I also felt loss. I felt the loss of leaving behind what had been a major part of my life for years. I felt the loss of what our lives together might have been like. I felt the loss of the person I wanted her to be, but never really was.

 

And that's the rub: As much as it hurt to lose her and the relationship, I realized that I had attached a great deal of emotion to potential and possibilities, not what really was.

 

That is a pretty Good description on what i feel, i feel loss for what might have been and i know i wanted out of this damn relationship myself for so long. It just Did not feel right. I always wish it would do but i just cannot help it.

 

Its wierd How her feelings just flicked of completely from her side. She Said it was like someone just pushed a button and the feelings started to go away fast.

 

Can Anyone give Me an explanatiln on How she must have felt??

[Midnight.Amber]

 

That is a pretty Good description on what i feel, i feel loss for what might have been and i know i wanted out of this damn relationship myself for so long. It just Did not feel right. I always wish it would do but i just cannot help it.

 

Its wierd How her feelings just flicked of completely from her side. She Said it was like someone just pushed a button and the feelings started to go away fast.

Can Anyone give Me an explanatiln on How she must have felt??

 

All I can say is that I think this is pretty typical of women. I know it is for me.

 

I can literally shut off just like that, out of nowhere. After feeling such intense love and/or high emotion, just like that, it all just shuts down and off.

 

It may take me awhile to get to that place, but once I do I am DONE. Forever. No going back.

 

You said you had been shut down, complacent, and hadn't been feeling anything for her for a long time maybe ever, and that you wanted out.

 

She, on the other hand, was madly in love with you. For a long time.

 

I don't mean to make you feel bad, but I am sure that hurt her. Eventually she came to a place (emotionally) where she finally realized this, and like me, just shut down and shut off.

 

vurtne, I don't think you should focus on what she is feeling though. Focus on your own feelings, your own loss and healing.

 

Learn from mistakes made, grow, evolve.

 

I mentioned books, music helps me too. Last weekend I was experiencing something painful and that was literally all I did. Put my headphones on and listened to music all day, it really helped my mood!

 

Exercise and good healthy eating helps too. Get out of the house, stay busy. Don't start obsessing!

 

You need to help yourself, be strong for yourself.

 

You will get through this, we all have!

Edited July 1, 2017 by Midnight.Amber

[Chin Up]

You've had a lot of coddling, back rubs and hand holding in this thread, and I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm really not, but I think it's time for a shaking of your shoulders.

 

If I, a complete stranger, can see through the "I'm so over her, whatevs!" act, you can bet your sweet butt she can too. Break ups suck, they really do..theyre confusing and sad as hell, but you need to stop romanticizing her, kick her arse off the pedestal and put yourself on it!

 

I winced when I read that you told her you were going to completely alter your life for her, move there and go to school there. NO!!!

 

Not only has she put you on the back burner, you're now decorating the pot and setting up home there. At some point you're gonna get sick of this, and you're gonna be mad. Like, lazers out of the eyes mad, and that good. It means youre starting to snap of it and your pride, dignity and self respect are coming back. Never settle to be someones option, once theyve made it clear you arent a priority!

 

Delete her off everything, and focus on yourself. If you put 1/2 the energy into doing things for you,that you put it into ruminating over her, you'd be in a way better place right now.

 

Sorry for the tough lovin, but it's time to get up off the ground, give this girl the finger (mentally of course) and do things for you.

[vurtne]

You've had a lot of coddling, back rubs and hand holding in this thread, and I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm really not, but I think it's time for a shaking of your shoulders.

 

If I, a complete stranger, can see through the "I'm so over her, whatevs!" act, you can bet your sweet butt she can too. Break ups suck, they really do..theyre confusing and sad as hell, but you need to stop romanticizing her, kick her arse off the pedestal and put yourself on it!

 

I winced when I read that you told her you were going to completely alter your life for her, move there and go to school there. NO!!!

 

Not only has she put you on the back burner, you're now decorating the pot and setting up home there. At some point you're gonna get sick of this, and you're gonna be mad. Like, lazers out of the eyes mad, and that good. It means youre starting to snap of it and your pride, dignity and self respect are coming back. Never settle to be someones option, once theyve made it clear you arent a priority!

 

Delete her off everything, and focus on yourself. If you put 1/2 the energy into doing things for you,that you put it into ruminating over her, you'd be in a way better place right now.

 

Sorry for the tough lovin, but it's time to get up off the ground, give this girl the finger (mentally of course) and do things for you.

 

Hey,

 

Thats not How it is, she is not on a pedestal i just really thought todsy when i met her that i was gonna feel something more than what i did but i really Did not. It feels Exactly like i am trying to hold onto something which isnt There like an invisible rope.

 

She always knows i have Wanted to get into that university it was not like i Said "BUT BABY IF I GRT INTO UNI ME AND TOY CAN WORK IT OUT" it was just as i said if i were to grt into Uni there if she would be open to start seeing me and see where it could lead to nothing more, id go There if i get into Uni with or without her.

[Chin Up]

Giving you the benefit of the doubt, but from what I've seen you're still emotionally all over the place. Saying you're over it, then turn around and wonder what she's thinking about things you said/did and her feelings.

 

Friend, I get it. I'm no spring chicken and I've been where you are many times. It's ok to be sad and miss her, it's normal and to be expected, but you NEED to remove her from your life now. It's not cool that she keep contacting you and leading you on with false hope, cuz let's get real here, every person on here that's been dumped will attest that they analyze every little thing their ex says and does. Par for the course

 

As long as you talk to her, look at her social media, whatever, you're keeping yourself stuck. It's not mean to erase her. She lost the right of having you around when she ended it.

 

You had your closure talk, it's time to go forward.

[vurtne]

One thing that really bugs My mind is she Said she was sad for 2 days? Wtf? Ended a 4 ****ing year relationship and you are sad for 2 ****ing days?

 

This must be bull**** right?

[dumbass2]

She left the relationship before she broke up. She was getting over you before she dropped the ax, so after she actually did it, she probably felt bad for a bit, but she had a head start on the "getting over" part.

[Chin Up]

As a recent dumper, it's not like I woke up one day and thoughtlessly ended things. I had been struggling, thinking, weighing pros and cons, analyzing, soul searching, you name it for almost a year! Hell, I even told him last Oct I had been having doubts about the relationship. He got upset but nothing changed.

 

I went through the breakup while I was with him. It's different for everyone, but the turmoil, guilt, disappointment and pain I went through leading to the breakup, was just as painful as getting dumped. He forced my hand.

 

At some point after it ended I felt sad again the odd couple of days, but was done. If she was no longer attracted to you romantically, then she may be telling the truth. It's harsh and hurts but that doesn't matter anymore.

 

Stop thinking about her feelings, focus on yours. You're allowed to hurt, cry, punch pillows, listen to sad songs, whatever you need to do, but if you want get back to good, you need to stop talking to her and delete her. Serious.

 

I promise you, one day you'll be over her and laugh and think "oh man, I should have ignored her right after she ended it!" but for now you're still struggling. It will get better.

[d0nnivain]

vurtne

 

 

As breaks / closure conversations go yours were civil, even kind. In the grand scheme it shows you are both good people. That more then anything will serve you well going forward.

 

 

Her emotions come from the length of your relationship. It was probably 22% of her life too. That's a long time to be together then just be apart. Dumper or dumpee it takes getting used to. Plus she's not a mean person so she does not like being the source of your pain. Still she knows that you & her weren't going to make it to Happily Ever After. Not all break ups are these dramatic "I hate you; I never want to see you again" messes.

 

 

You put it out there. You risked. You tried. You should have no regrets. Yes, it didn't work out but maybe it wasn't supposed to. There's a country song about Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks who used to pray & pray that God would make this one girl his GF. It never happened. Years later with his wife he meets that first woman & he's so happy that he didn't end up with the first girl. Listen to the song

 

 

As much as it sucks that it's really over, at least you know. There is a clear demarcation. You are free to mourn this loss as you should but you have a new job to get. It will be a true fresh start for you.

 

 

Grieve this loss because it is a loss but don't let it define your life, or even your summer. Let it ruin your 4th of July but by next Monday, be ready to put one foot in front of the other. I'm not saying run out & date but do ramp up your job search & keep yourself busy.

[vurtne]

Yes indeed, we are not enemies and that feels good. I really think this was for the best for us both, I just cannot give her what she needs and I really hope she finds it.

 

It’s just so sad, I told her yesterday that after the breakup I just went for 1 week “any second she will call me and want to solve it”

It’s so damn sad that two people who once were so loving and caring for eachother just grew apart.

 

I think overall i have been a good boyfriend, always when we meet we did something fun i took her out to many restaurants we have been on many nice vacations together and we have always had a good time, i always bought her nice and expensive presents always helped her with small things, but something just felt so damn wrong.

 

Why didn’t I show my FULL appreciation of her when I had her why did I just want her to go away. It’s so insane I just wanted to get rid of her I just could not love her enough.

 

I had her like a ****ing furniture, she should just be there when I wanted. That is not ****ing love that is so damn cruel I feel like the most awful piece of **** tbh i feel like psychopath just wanting what would make me feel better and not care about her.

 

She really does deserve someone better.

She loved me so deeply and wanted everything with me if I ever again get to be loved like that I will be more than happy but I have to feel that myself as well.

 

It’s not all my fault as well of course she also took me for granted, she could have tried to come here more it was always “when are you coming” I had so much here I had fulltime job as a part owner of a company I had all my friends. I just felt like I could not leave that just for her I simply could not ****ing love her.

 

While I am writing this I have tears in my eyes wondering what could have been and if I would find myself happy with the girl if we moved in together. My gut tells me no, I want to find someone I can truly love and never take for granted or have as a damn furniture.

 

I truly wish I could have loved her the way she wanted me to, she must have felt that I did not care about her, and that just feels so damn awful.

 

I really really wish that she just would have told me "I want us to see eachother more, or that she would give me some kind of warning so i could really realize what i had."

 

I told her yesterday that i wish i would have met her when i was 28 and not 18, i truly did she is a girl you want to marry. Just that something is missing. I wish she can really find someone better i truly do.

 

I just guess that sometimes lovers fall out of love and sometimes the best intentions just ain’t enough, sometimes we are just too young and stupid to understand what we really have and appreciate it.

One day I will understand, when I will truly love someone.

 

Reading through some of our old conversations just makes my heart break.

 

Me : I have to cheat on the STDPA to get into Uni in your city

 

Her: If you cheat you will blow the chance of getting in anywhere so its stupid to even think that thought.

 

Me: But honey, if i am going to study in Luleå how am i ever going to see you?

 

Her: You are not going to study in Luleå you are going to fight and be here with me

 

Me : Honey, i wont get into university there its impossible

 

Her: Not Luleå please i want to be with you forever, cant you atleast get into Halmstad? I am crying now

 

Me: Don't cry petname i am sad too.

 

Her: you must get in here, it shall be you and i forever.

Me: Yes i know petname.

 

Her: It shall always be you and me, there is no one else for me.

Me: I know.

 

Her: Like, it's always gonna be you for me there is no one like you on this earth, i want you here with me now and forever until the day i die.

 

Me : I know, but i just can't.

 

Reading through our old conversations i just realize that we just started drifting and drifting apart each day a little less, sometimes i would not answer her for several hours.

 

How could i not love her? And why was she so in love with me?

 

I really really wish we will one day put the sprint back in our hand grenade and that she one day will realize that we were meant to fight for.

 

This is by far one of the most saddest endings to a youth love.

 

I feel like a monster.

Edited July 1, 2017 by vurtne

[Blanco]

Guy, no offense, but who has conversations like that? I felt like I was reading one of those trashy novels with Fabio on the cover.

 

This is a crappy situation, but you are being over-dramatic in your thinking.