LOSINGHOPE113 Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Almost at the 5 month mark after a breakup and i still associate every single thing with her like everything, i'm in living hell in my mind. everything i do i think of her, when i go for a walk i just imagine her next to me and how much she'd love the views, i'm looking to book a holiday and just think that she should be with me/how much she'd love the places i'm looking at. i see so many things in shops that i want to buy her and break down when i remember that i can't anymore. I don't know how to disassociate myself, i cannot move on, i still haven't accepted that its over and its horrible as i know she can move on just fine. Am i taking too long, does anyone have any advise to get her off of my mind, i think about and replay all of our memories in my head 24/7 i just can't stop myself NOTHING distracts me not even when i'm busy at work, she's still there. i compare everyone to her, i see a girl in sunglasses and just think 'she wouldn't wear them sunglasses' and then i get so upset because i want to see her in her sunglasses again, i'm honestly so pathetic, i feel like no one will ever compare to her, i judge every single girl i meet and compare them to her and i know ill never be able to move on if i don't stop doing it but i just don't know how to stop, my brain reacts so quick and puts a thought in my head, i have flashing memories that are triggered by the most random things that i have no time to counteract it. I'm so lost. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Frostedflake Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 I've gone through this with an ex before. Everything reminded me of her. Songs on the radio belonged to her, everything I knew she'd like, everything I knew she'd hate. A girl with similiar style on the street. And that's when it hit me. And I began to generalize her. It wasn't that I was finding HER in these things and people, it was that these things were very general. A lot of people like this, a lot of people hate that. She suddenly didn't seem so special. In fact, there were hundreds like her. And that'll move you forward. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Deadmeat Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 You have her on the pedestal. Youre using her as a reference point for anything and everything. It's part of the healing process. You will move on from it, you just have to be patient. I believe it's a coping mechanism for sudder loss. I'd suggest trying to switch your reference point to some one else like another female friend and compare/contrast using her. It's normal and it's okay. Weve all done it. You just have to put in your time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Hello ! This will fade. I still do this with my ex . He used to always wear the same clothes and everyone looks like him in my head ! Link to post Share on other sites
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