caring guy Posted August 2, 2005 Share Posted August 2, 2005 Hi I think there's a fine line to be had when given a second chance. Being too much & trying too hard can be off putting, but showing signs of getting into old ways is another that sends signs of not changing. I'm after help here! I'm with someone for 17 months, great at first, obviously a fiew differences, my likeing for red wine being one & she has 2 kids of 6 & 10. Were both 30. Commitment is what she has wanted. Not from day one but the last 6 months, to show that the relationship can progress & i move in with her. Initially i want my cake & eat it & thought a double life of being on my own & then going hers would be ok (for me) & took for granted things that it would continue! Lately things have been a bit rough & her needing space & it has been a wake up call, kick up the butt & made me realise what i want. Too late you may say & so i thought after i found out she had a brief fling, with a guy 10 years her junior who was up for commitment & i said after months & months i didn't & a wake up was needed. She met him by chance in a bar, they had dinner, a snog, no sex as she said she still thinks of me & only seen him, twice hardly knows him! So now, I've been house sitting for her as she's on vacation with her mum, kids & sister. She don't believe i'll change & comit, but the saying i told her "Actions speak louder than words" i told her & if i mess up, & this guy still like s her, he's welcome to her. The signs are this is going to be ok. We just chatted & she said the reason they didn't have any sexual contact was because of her feelings for me. She said she will tell him the score, no promises, but i'll have my chance to show her!! Question!/ How! I need to woo her again, i already buy flowers, state my love & i know the things she don't like about me, but by doing things initially for when she gets home, like cleaning up her terrible garden, cleaning her house, being charming, wearing nice clothes!! Will this be too much all at once?. I know the romance & sex thing will be a natural occurance & not rushed, but any ideas as to what to do & how go about it, to impress, make her feel special & show her i'm 100% on this & no (heard it all before) thing, how can i make her see that this is it for me. Do or bust & what are the boundaries! Link to post Share on other sites
NeoIQ Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Bubble bath, a single red rose, strawberries with a small dish of chocalate to dip them in, champagne chilled in a bucket with a single crystal glass already poured, (use sparkling cider if she doesn't drink), 12 candles of various sizes (vanilla scented usually works), get a bag of rose petals from the florist, throw them around the bathroom, find a red erasible marker (dry erase) and write "you deserve this" on the mirror. And don't forget the little things, if she smokes, have an ashtray (clean), two cigs and a lighter on the side of the tub, if you have a bright tile floor cover it with a dark green or burgundy sheet, (the rose petals show up better), find a web site that has ocean waves, download it and have that playing softly in the bathroom, have a towel and wash cloth folded nicely in there for her too, now, this is the biggie, type a note that says something like this " I've done this for you simply because I wanted too. No pressure. Just relax, enjoy and take your time. When you are finished, I'f you'd like I'll give you a massage, because I'd like too, not expecting anything in return". Or something like that. Fold it and lay it somewhere she'll find it. Now the key is to pull this off with out her knowing. You have to time the bath water just right with her coming home so it doesn't get cold. Have the door to the bathroom shut with everything going inside and leave a post it note on the door that says "come in". She'll find it. Then leave her alone. She will be grateful that you went to such measures for her. Link to post Share on other sites
ms. biz Posted August 3, 2005 Share Posted August 3, 2005 Tell her you are ready to move in together if she still wants that. I mean, that's some pretty PROOF of your commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted August 3, 2005 Author Share Posted August 3, 2005 NeoQ Thats a good idea, seeing as she's on holliday with the kids & will be driving home, she'll be stressed & this will be great,as i'll have time to plan it. I could ask her to text me on way home, asking if she'd like something to eat & how long she'll be!! I'm also going to call her mum (who she's with) & ask if she'll babysit Sunday evening & take her out to nice restaurant!. As we've been going through a rough patch, does anyone think this will be too pushy & we've agreed it will take time for the sex to come back naturally, after i show signs of improvement. The saying " Actions speak louder than words" have come into it a lot. But is the flowers, bath thing, too pushy & in your face! I dunno. I am doing her garden for her prior to coming home which will be a surprise. CG Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted August 4, 2005 Author Share Posted August 4, 2005 Again, does anyone think what NeoQ's ideas are a little OTT.? My family do especially after what she did, even though i hurt her too .! Anyone Link to post Share on other sites
ltomlinson81 Posted August 4, 2005 Share Posted August 4, 2005 NeoQ's ideas are overkill. That would annoy me if I was her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author caring guy Posted August 5, 2005 Author Share Posted August 5, 2005 I think so too, maybe some roses & a nice meal & a card & the backmassage may happen later if all goes well! Link to post Share on other sites
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