Is there any chance of getting him back?

[Isthereanyway]

So I just want to know if you guys think there is any chance of me getting my ex back? and if so, what the best course of action is!

 

In black and white, my anxiety and depression caused him to split with me.

 

 

It probably started 2years ago, I was living at home with my mum and step-dad, who didn't have a good relationship, my step-dad was an alcoholic, and they were on the verge of splitting. I hated my job, I worked for 'hitler'. So things weren't great, the stress of it all got on top of me, and this is when my depression started. Mum and step-dad then split, mum moved further north for a new job, I moved back with my dad as I was still working.

 

Fast forward to Feb 2016, I met my boyfriend through a mutual friend. We started talking, and we got on like a house on fire. Things progressed and we soon got together. When we were first together, I was just seeing him on weekends, but chatting on the phone every night. We always had something to talk about, there was never any awkward moments etc. 3months down the line, he told me he loved me, and I felt the same. Honestly, we were like a match made in heaven. June 2016, I left work, to work for myself and to move back with mum (as the horses had also moved to near where she was now living), but I actually ended up staying with my boyfriend around 4nights out of 7. We still got on brilliantly, the odd bicker like any relationship but nothing major.

 

So now I can look back on things, I left work and moved area, I was working for myself so didn't find a new employer, which meant I also wasn't building my own social circle. My 'friends' were my boyfriends friends, and we all socialised together. That was fine, he would go out and see them on his own at times for boys nights, so it wasn't as if I was intruding all the time.

 

During all this, we are also having to deal with his dad dying. He had cancer.

 

So for my boyfriends job, he lives on site, and gets a house. In January 2017, he was moving from a shared house to his own, so he asked me if I wanted to move in with him. I of course said yes, we were still getting on perfectly fine, I love him, I'd more or less been living with him anyway etc.

 

Everything was going well, until mid Feb 2017, when his dad passed away. It hit us both incredibly hard.

 

I put on a brave face, for my boyfriend trying to support him, and be there for him. Unfortuntely I can now see that was the wrong move, as because I was bottling everything up, my depression raised its ugly head. Since his dad passed, I've not been working (apart from 1 day a week for my previous employers), I've not wanted to socialise, I just turned into a hermit.

 

We were bickering more than normal, we just weren't really getting on. He tried getting a mutual friend to speak to me about it, to try and sort things out, but I wasn't at the stage to admit I had a problem. (I knew I did, just didn't want to admit it!)

 

So we get to mid April 2017, and he calls it a day. Tells me he still wants to be friends, and he is never saying never to getting back together.

 

A couple of days after splitting, I went to see him as I wanted answers, and he told me he couldn't stand the sight of me (I had been in the house 24/7, moping around etc).

 

So a week after splitting, I go down to the house to collect all my things. We end up having a heart to heart and he tells me he wants to give me a kiss and tell me everything is ok. We both end up crying and cuddling, and before I left he gave me a kiss, and invited me for tea a couple of days later.

 

I went for tea, and we ended up sleeping together. We also agreed that we would take things slowly.

 

A couple of days after that he rang me to tell me, it was going too fast already, and we are just friends.

 

In amongst all this, I finally admit I have a problem, and seek help from the doctor. I am now on medication and have been referred for counselling. I have also got a new full time job, and have joined some social groups. I am trying to help myself.

 

Anyway, I've met him for a tea a couple more times, and we've ended up sleeping together. 1 time he told me it meant nothing, and that he was over me and had no feelings for me. The last time (last week), it was quite intimate, almost like when we were together.

 

So, I know sex doesn't really mean anything to men, but he has also been calling me every couple of days asking me how I am, what I'm getting up to, telling me things that are going on with him. Hes also been snapchatting me everyday, and somethings are of things that meant something to US. I have answered the phone to him (but let him ring me a couple of times first, but I've not replied to his snapchats)

 

I grew some balls, and told him that he was giving me mixed messages. So he again said, he is never saying never to trying again, but at the minute he is happy single. But he rings me as he worries about me, and misses me. A mutual friend had suggested we went no contact for 6months, but he didn't want that.

 

He rang me 2 days ago inviting me for tea sometime. I am pretty busy now on a evening for the remainder or this week and next, so I can't fit in meeting him. I also don't want to fall into the trap of sleeping with him again. I am going to put my foot down and say that it needs to stop, as we are showing a lack of respect for each other and for ourselves.

 

For VDay I bought him tickets to go see a comedy, which is 11th June. He still wants to go with me, so I have said I will. I am going to try and not see him (socially anyway. I have to see him through work once a week) until then.

 

I want to get back with him, when I was (or even both of us) were in the right mind frame, and wasn't struggling with mental health, we just worked, we understood each other, we ironed out each others imperfections etc.

 

But I aren't sure if there is hope? Or if there is, what is the best course of action?

 

I did think about going to the comedy night with him, but also doing something we found fun before (like bowling). or going to the comedy night, then inviting him to go bowling or something, the week after, and just keep having fun trips out together?

 

HELP!

[d0nnivain]

Maybe there is hope. Keep the lines of communication open. Get medical help for your depression & I think you might be able to move forward.

[preraph]

He's perfectly happy dating other women and still sleeping with you, so if I were you I'd stop seeing him but tell him when he gets done dating around to feel free to call. And then you start dating when you feel like it. Glad you got help.