The culture around me?

[bradt93]

Sorry, it's rated #40 in bloomberg business week. For the full-time MBA program it's rated #29 in 2017 U.S. News & World Report best business schools.

[mightycpa]

Is that all they have down there at UTK? This one program and the MBA school? Are those the only girls you're evaluating, the ones in these two fields of study? How do you identify them? There are less than 30 of them a year.

 

Or is this a big school, and we're talking about the students at large, whatever their major, and the surrounding population?

 

So what if there are two bright spots in a sea of ordinary? Your reasoning seems to be a little weak, and you're ignoring the big picture. Maybe you should give these non-haslam girls another chance.

Edited May 29, 2017 by mightycpa

[bradt93]

Well, I've been thinking about doing a youtube series for awhile now talking about my aspergers and reaching out to others who have it. You know talking about ways to cope with it and things you can do to improve it. I see lots of people post YT videos talking about their aspergers and they get a lot of views.

[elaine567]

Thank you guys for trying to help me though, I really appreciate it. I think I may do better actually when I finally enter the work force, because it forces conversation since we probably have to work on business projects together and all that.

 

i doubt it, unless you work for a large organisation then the number of new people you can meet will go down. The number of unattached people will be less and the opportunities for socialising will also reduce. It will take a much bigger effort to meet anyone. Dating co-workers is often frowned upon and it can be very messy when relationships go pear shaped.

 

I see what you are doing though, you are procrastinating.

[Lance01]

This is utter nonsense - if you drink and do drugs it's going to be much harder to meet people and have intelligent conversation.

 

And if you lump everyone into categories and refuse to deal with them as individuals ("girls only want rich men!") then it's not surprising you have a hard time finding a date. It's beyond laughable. Hell, just read posts from women on this forum and see how many of them are dating / married to men who are not partiers or millionaires.

 

People are quoting you famous individuals because if I tell you that my friends R, D, H, J, and A are all male nerds on average wages with cute wives and girlfriends, you have no idea who the heck these people are or whether I'm just making them up.

 

It's not utter nonsense. If you go to Europe, Asia or South America people are more open to strangers and socialize with random people without depending on drugs or alcohol. Here in the United States, however, people are very insular, raciest, xenophobic and sexist which prevents people from forming healthy relationships. In America, outside of a bar/tavern most Americans don't socialize with anyone except who they already know.

 

And yes, most women don't marry rich guys but that's because they reluctantly settled. In the long run most women aren't happy with their husband's. The high divorce rate in this country where women initiate divorce at least 70% of the time tells the real story.

[Lance01]

Bottom line is that it IS all his "fault". Whose fault is it then?

Unless he comes from a culture where his extended family and the community will find him a suitable bride, then he has to go out and do his best to find himself a partner in life, just like everyone else has to do.

In order to change his life he needs to do a lot of stuff that he will find very scary and he needs to take huge risks that will catapult himself out of his comfort zone.

Faint heart never won fair maiden.

 

Fair point.

[lucy_in_disguise]

I can see how you may not fit in easily in suburban Tennessee. Of course there are others who also don't fit into the party scene and have similar interests as you but it will be harder to find them in the sea of football lovin southern frat boys/ sorority girls (if your college is anything like mine was).

 

It can be easier to meet like minded people after college, depending on your lifestyle/ career choices. Jobs can be self selecting and will place you in an environment where you are surrounded by similar people. Different areas will have a different culture. Personally, having lived all over the country, I actually think the Midwest has the most accepting culture. It's genuine and non-pretentious, and the big cities have plenty of nerds. Due to the cold there is still a lot of drinking tjough.

[Kamille]

I met a bunch of incredibly smart people in college by joining activities that draw those people in. I volunteered for my school's paper and helped a friend run a student caucus campaign.

 

Are you doing any such things?

[CptInsano]

I can see how you may not fit in easily in suburban Tennessee. Of course there are others who also don't fit into the party scene and have similar interests as you but it will be harder to find them in the sea of football lovin southern frat boys/ sorority girls (if your college is anything like mine was).[...]

 

I still find it hard to believe that it's all frat boys and sorority girls. I worked for some of these universities, and they are educational institutions first and foremost, meaning that all kinds of people go there to get an education. Granted, even the nerds, the artsy/music crowd and others will party, but they are present at those universities.

[d0nnivain]

Thank you guys for trying to help me though, I really appreciate it. I think I may do better actually when I finally enter the work force, because it forces conversation since we probably have to work on business projects together and all that.

 

 

Dating someone you work with is a BAD idea. When you break up, things get awkward at work.

 

 

College is the greatest place to find people to date. Take advantage of it.

 

 

You say you are liberal, so join the young Democrats on campus. Do find or create a club for people with Asperger's. Work with a professional to learn more about the social cues you miss.

[bradt93]

I have never even experienced the "night life" in any state. I would love to go out and have fun one night in a big city like Miami or Los Angeles, but my damn aspergers keeps holding me back.

[d0nnivain]

So start with a smaller city like Chattanooga or Atlanta.

[bradt93]

I received my associates degree today, I didn't want to attend the ceremony, I was busy. My next step is getting my bachelors in Accounting and my final step would be my MBA. Yes, I have strong ambitions for myself.

[d0nnivain]

Congratulations.

 

 

If you are not already accepted & staying at the same school for Fall semester toward your BA, try getting a job in a bigger but nearby city like Atlanta & going to school Part time while you are working. You will have the best of both worlds but little free time.

[bradt93]

Congratulations.

 

 

If you are not already accepted & staying at the same school for Fall semester toward your BA, try getting a job in a bigger but nearby city like Atlanta & going to school Part time while you are working. You will have the best of both worlds but little free time.

Yea, even with my degrees, I probably won't get a date, I'm not a druggie or an abuser so that rules me out lol. I swear some women not all are so dumb.

[elaine567]

Yea, even with my degrees, I probably won't get a date, I'm not a druggie or an abuser so that rules me out lol. I swear some women not all are so dumb.

 

OK but "jokes" like that are not actually funny, you have to get out of that bitter mindset as it will affect everything you do and women will run a mile...

[somanymistakes]

Yea, even with my degrees, I probably won't get a date, I'm not a druggie or an abuser so that rules me out lol. I swear some women not all are so dumb.

 

Considering the attitude you keep displaying, choosing not to date you sounds like a smart move.

 

Dude, you have an associate degree. While this does not mean you are stupid or a failure, obviously, it's not a towering achievement that makes you a rare success either. More than a third of adult Americans have a bachelor's degree or higher. If you broaden that to include associate degrees it's almost HALF.

 

You are not an amazing achiever who is better than everyone around you. You are an ordinary, average guy who comes across as having a chip on your shoulder. That may not be your fault, but that is almost certainly what gives you problems in dealing with other people.

 

(I should add, not having a degree doesn't make you stupid either, there are many reasons people do or don't have degrees, some people don't want one and have other plans with their lives, some people are better at real-world tasks than they are at academic ones. I like academic stuff but I am aware that people are different so please don't think that I hate everyone!)

Edited June 6, 2017 by somanymistakes

[bradt93]

Considering the attitude you keep displaying, choosing not to date you sounds like a smart move.

 

Dude, you have an associate degree. While this does not mean you are stupid or a failure, obviously, it's not a towering achievement that makes you a rare success either. More than a third of adult Americans have a bachelor's degree or higher. If you broaden that to include associate degrees it's almost HALF.

 

You are not an amazing achiever who is better than everyone around you. You are an ordinary, average guy who comes across as having a chip on your shoulder. That may not be your fault, but that is almost certainly what gives you problems in dealing with other people.

 

(I should add, not having a degree doesn't make you stupid either, there are many reasons people do or don't have degrees, some people don't want one and have other plans with their lives, some people are better at real-world tasks than they are at academic ones. I like academic stuff but I am aware that people are different so please don't think that I hate everyone!)

You don't think I know that, why do you think I'm continuing on to my education all the way to my mba? Hey, I'm better than the waitress who I didn't tip and she doesn't have any education, yea, at least I'm not a damn waiter like her and I will her that to her face. You bullied me in middle school and who's the better one now? Edited June 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[d0nnivain]

You don't think I know that, why do you think I'm continuing on to my education all the way to my mba? Hey, I'm better than the waitress who I didn't tip and she doesn't have any education, yea, at least I'm not a damn waiter like her and I will her that to her face. ?

 

 

Tipping people in the service industry is part of the package. They wait on you. You tip them. Failing to tip takes food off their tables at home.

 

 

Also don't look down on food servers. Even after you get your MBA I will still have more education then you do & I worked my way through college & grad school tending bar, in some pretty divvy places too. For you to look down on me or anybody else who actually busts their hump to make a buck is insulting. You know nothing about the person who served you. This may be a second job. She could be paying medical bills. She may have a learning disability & this is the best job she can get.

 

 

If any of the poison you are spewing in this last post leaks into your personality when you are trying to find somebody to date, that alone is the reason you can't form a relationship. You come off as mean & judgmental. Move anywhere you want. Get multiple degrees. That attitude will always be your downfall.

Edited June 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[bradt93]

Tipping people in the service industry is part of the package. They wait on you. You tip them. Failing to tip takes food off their tables at home.

 

 

Also don't look down on food servers. Even after you get your MBA I will still have more education then you do & I worked my way through college & grad school tending bar, in some pretty divvy places too. For you to look down on me or anybody else who actually busts their hump to make a buck is insulting. You know nothing about the person who served you. This may be a second job. She could be paying medical bills. She may have a learning disability & this is the best job she can get.

 

 

If any of the poison you are spewing in this last post leaks into your personality when you are trying to find somebody to date, that alone is the reason you can't form a relationship. You come off as mean & judgmental. Move anywhere you want. Get multiple degrees. That attitude will always be your downfall.

When did this become a contest of who will have the most degrees? Nothing wrong with rubbing your success in your bullies face.

[d0nnivain]

It's not a contest. You talked about having your AA & wanting your MBA but then said at least you're not a waitress. I shared my level of education with you to point out that not everyone who works a menial job in the 20s stays in that industry.

 

 

If you knew the waitress & she had actually bullied you, you needed to eat in a different restaurant, not fail to tip her. If you did out-achieve her with your degree the honorable thing to do was gloat quietly to yourself. Revenge isn't the best answer

Edited June 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[GunslingerRoland]

I know you have a disability, but you make yourself really hard to like sometimes even keeping that in mind. If you get off of your high horse and stop looking at everyone else as below you for whatever reason (they do drugs, they drink, they are a waitress, they said something mean 10 years ago, having a child) you might actually be able to socialize with people, make friendships, build a social life and eventually have a relationship.

 

But as long as you keep being bitter and condescending in your attitude towards everyone, you'll keep coming back with new excuses for why you are alone.

[bradt93]

I know you have a disability, but you make yourself really hard to like sometimes even keeping that in mind. If you get off of your high horse and stop looking at everyone else as below you for whatever reason (they do drugs, they drink, they are a waitress, they said something mean 10 years ago, having a child) you might actually be able to socialize with people, make friendships, build a social life and eventually have a relationship.

 

But as long as you keep being bitter and condescending in your attitude towards everyone, you'll keep coming back with new excuses for why you are alone.

A social disability actually.

[CptInsano]

You don't think I know that, why do you think I'm continuing on to my education all the way to my mba? Hey, I'm better than the waitress who I didn't tip and she doesn't have any education, yea, at least I'm not a damn waiter like her and I will her that to her face. You bullied me in middle school and who's the better one now?

 

Based on that attitude I would say that she is. How exactly did she bully you in middle school?

Edited June 6, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[elaine567]

YOU never mentioned before that Brooke bullied you.

I thought you liked her and was attracted to her.

I know it hurt you that she apparently ignored you when she was your waitress and so you deliberately didn't tip her, but you hadn't seen her since middle school so I guess she didn't recognise you.

YOU are holding on to a lot of anger and resentment here, you have to let it go.