Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Then come here and write. Talk to your friends. And if you have no one to talk to, the solution is not your ex. I know she's not she was always the person I would go to for anything and vice versa I just feel alone and sad and it makes it harder to move on Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I know she's not she was always the person I would go to for anything and vice versa I just feel alone and sad and it makes it harder to move on OP, these are the pains of an ending. You have to face them the best way you can. Yes, it is hard to move on when someone has always been there for you. But this should also be the time when you start working on your insecurities and start to regain your independence. From pain comes growth. And this could be a blessing in that you are forced to work on your issues rather than feeding your dependence. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 OP, these are the pains of an ending. You have to face them the best way you can. Yes, it is hard to move on when someone has always been there for you. But this should also be the time when you start working on your insecurities and start to regain your independence. From pain comes growth. And this could be a blessing in that you are forced to work on your issues rather than feeding your dependence. I know my insecurities and I have been working on them..let me note I'm doing this for me and not her...does everyone think like this when they are dumped? I feel like When I'm ready to find someone new in the future which won't be anytime soon I'm just gonna compare them to her Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I know my insecurities and I have been working on them..let me note I'm doing this for me and not her...does everyone think like this when they are dumped? I feel like When I'm ready to find someone new in the future which won't be anytime soon I'm just gonna compare them to her When you have moved on from her and you meet someone new that you find interesting, you won't be comparing her to your ex. You would by then have found indifference and at that point have the capacity to appreciate others based on their own individuality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 When you have moved on from her and you meet someone new that you find interesting, you won't be comparing her to your ex. You would by then have found indifference and at that point have the capacity to appreciate others based on their own individuality. I really hope that's true...I honestly had thought u found the perfect women to spend my life with and that's gone I'm just losing all hope for being happy with someone Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I really hope that's true...I honestly had thought u found the perfect women to spend my life with and that's gone I'm just losing all hope for being happy with someone Focus on working on your issues. Be happy with yourself first. Prioritize you and the rest will follow. There is a reason why you behaved the way you did in the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Focus on working on your issues. Be happy with yourself first. Prioritize you and the rest will follow. There is a reason why you behaved the way you did in the relationship. Honest truth most of it came from my jealousy...I did trust her never had a reason not to but cause I was cheated on by my ex who I have 2 kids with I feel like it was only a matter of time until she did...and it never happened I messed up big time and now I have to live with this for the rest of my life Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Honest truth most of it came from my jealousy...I did trust her never had a reason not to but cause I was cheated on by my ex who I have 2 kids with I feel like it was only a matter of time until she did...and it never happened I messed up big time and now I have to live with this for the rest of my life I have been cheated on, OP. I know what it feels like. You can't carry that kind of baggage into a relationship. Jealousy will kill a relationship. Until you work on your resolving your past, you'll repeat your behaviors. Do you both live together? If so, time for someone to move out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 I have been cheated on, OP. I know what it feels like. You can't carry that kind of baggage into a relationship. Jealousy will kill a relationship. Until you work on your resolving your past, you'll repeat your behaviors. Do you both live together? If so, time for someone to move out. I know it will and it did ...yes we live together I am moving out tho I was staying with my dad and came here Sunday night cause she asked me to but I can't take this when we're home all I do is hold my tears back and try not to show how sad I am when she's around Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I know it will and it did ...yes we live together I am moving out tho I was staying with my dad and came here Sunday night cause she asked me to but I can't take this when we're home all I do is hold my tears back and try not to show how sad I am when she's around Stop going to visit her. Pack all your things and move out. Pick a day and have your dad help you. You need to start taking steps towards accepting the break-up. You're prolonging your pain. You need to cut the cord. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Stop going to visit her. Pack all your things and move out. Pick a day and have your dad help you. You need to start taking steps towards accepting the break-up. You're prolonging your pain. You need to cut the cord. It's hard tho cause I have not found a place yet to take all my things my dads place is a small condo so there's no room for my stuff there I'm already sleeping in the couch when I'm there...all this just makes it harder cause I feel like she got everything and I have nothing left I don't even have a place I can call home right now Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 It's hard tho cause I have not found a place yet to take all my things my dads place is a small condo so there's no room for my stuff there I'm already sleeping in the couch when I'm there...all this just makes it harder cause I feel like she got everything and I have nothing left I don't even have a place I can call home right now Pack up all your necessities. Items that you need on a daily basis. Get a storage unit and store the rest. You will find a new place and make it your own home. The priority now is detaching and healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Pack up all your necessities. Items that you need on a daily basis. Get a storage unit and store the rest. You will find a new place and make it your own home. The priority now is detaching and healing. Ok thank you very much for helping me today I really do appreciate your time I know you don't have to do this but at least I know there still good people out there with big hearts ? I just hope I can do this without talking to her anymore I just want to heal knowing I don't have a chance anymore Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Ok thank you very much for helping me today I really do appreciate your time I know you don't have to do this but at least I know there still good people out there with big hearts ? I just hope I can do this without talking to her anymore I just want to heal knowing I don't have a chance anymore The only way you can heal is to cut the cord and implement NC. NC is difficult but the sooner you face your truth, the sooner you heal and move on. What she's doing to you is very unfair. I read your past thread as well. If she has chosen to let you go, she needs to let you go. Not toy with your emotions because it suits her needs. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 The only way you can heal is to cut the cord and implement NC. NC is difficult but the sooner you face your truth, the sooner you heal and move on. What she's doing to you is very unfair. I read your past thread as well. If she has chosen to let you go, she needs to let you go. Not toy with your emotions because it suits her needs. Yes it is very unfair and it's making it so much harder for me...I had to come back home because I forgot my iPad and she was here now and is being a complete bitch to me now and now I'm hiding in the basement cryin cause it's raining and don't want to take the bus anymore cause she has our car that we shared Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yes it is very unfair and it's making it so much harder for me...I had to come back home because I forgot my iPad and she was here now and is being a complete bitch to me now and now I'm hiding in the basement cryin cause it's raining and don't want to take the bus anymore cause she has our car that we shared OP, you need to start helping yourself. Again, when she is not in the home tomorrow, you collect all your necessities and you take it back to your father's home. At this point you are inflicting pain on yourself. Can you call a cab? Ask your dad to get you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 OP, you need to start helping yourself. Again, when she is not in the home tomorrow, you collect all your necessities and you take it back to your father's home. At this point you are inflicting pain on yourself. Can you call a cab? Ask your dad to get you? My dads at work till late and a cab to house is over 150 from me which I can't afford right now...I just want to leave I feel so stuck and hurt being in our once home Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 My dads at work till late and a cab to house is over 150 from me which I can't afford right now...I just want to leave I feel so stuck and hurt being in our once home Maybe this is a lesson for you. Maybe you needed this to reinforce why you should be staying away. I'm hoping you find the courage to step away from this and start taking steps towards grieving and moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 Maybe this is a lesson for you. Maybe you needed this to reinforce why you should be staying away. I'm hoping you find the courage to step away from this and start taking steps towards grieving and moving on. I hope it is im so sick of the tears and heartache why should u have to be the one going through this when she doesn't give a **** about me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 Ok everyone if you read my old posts you will know why I need to be writing here... I'll be writing here everytime I wanna call or text my ex so I'm sure there will be a lot for the first little while comments are appreciated but not necessary.. So here it goes... Hey baby I miss you so much I'm so upset that this has happened to us I still remember the first day I met you,you looked so beautiful in your black dress hair all curled smelling soo good when I looked into your eyes that night I knew I wanted you to be mine.. I'll never forget the day we told each other I love you we where on your bed early that's morning just looking into each other eyes. You asked babe your looking at me like you have something you wanna say and I said your the most beautiful girl I've ever met then u said are u falling in love with ne were I replied not falling I've already fallen I love you baby you cried with tears of joy and said I love you too..that was the happiest moment of my life...I just want you to know I've never stopped loving you and I never will my heart belongs to you and it always will...you complete me baby I feel so empty without you I'll never forget all our good times all the love moving in together getting a dog together And talking about marriage all the time I'll miss and love you forever yours truly Your best friend and lover Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 So today's now my bday 35 and it sucks I won't be able to celebrate it with you it's gonna be the headset bday I've ever had...I remember last year we went away for the weekend to Niagara Falls and when we got back we moved into our new house what a happy time what was for me and now I'll spend my whole day thinking about that and you..wondering if u remember it's my bday wondering till midnight tomorrow if I'll get w bday text I miss you babe and I wish you were with me tonight to say happy bday I love u..,but your not and you won't be I wonder if your even thinking about me today I hope your not I hope your gonna be happy now baby just wish I could get my bday kiss and hug from you I love you so much and hope I can have a happy day even if your not with me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 So today been hard you texted me and called me this morning saying happy bday I wanted to respond and pick up so badly but I can't I need to stay away from you for Me...I haven't stopped caring or loving you but I need to do this for me I need to heal my heart...wish you where here with ne today I miss you me love and smile all the hugs and kisses all our good times but I have to think about me now I have to move on to better myself I hope one day we can get together but for now it must be this way baby I love u and miss you and will never stop thinking about what we had ? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 So today been hard you texted me and called me this morning saying happy bday I wanted to respond and pick up so badly but I can't I need to stay away from you for Me...I haven't stopped caring or loving you but I need to do this for me I need to heal my heart...wish you where here with ne today I miss you me love and smile all the hugs and kisses all our good times but I have to think about me now I have to move on to better myself I hope one day we can get together but for now it must be this way baby I love u and miss you and will never stop thinking about what we had ? Good for you for not responding. That was very difficult I am sure but it also took a lot of courage. Keep staying the course. The more you do it, the more you will find acceptance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurtingguy Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 Good for you for not responding. That was very difficult I am sure but it also took a lot of courage. Keep staying the course. The more you do it, the more you will find acceptance. Thanks zahara you've been there for me through this difficult time and I'll never forget you Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Thanks zahara you've been there for me through this difficult time and I'll never forget you You're welcome. I hope you are keeping strong. I know how hard it can be to maintain NC but you're going to get through this. I've been through hell and back more times than I care to remember so trust me when I say you will get past this. You just have to want to move on and heal from this. Keep posting and use LS as a way to purge your emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
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