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still in love but broken up


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Hurtingguy

I'm fighting right now not to text you it's killing me inside my chest is all tight ohh how I miss talking to u all day when we're not out or home together...I miss u baby soo much ?

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Hurtingguy

I saw you called this morning I wanted to answer so much I miss your voice I mis talkig to you this is so hard being apart I want to hold u and kiss u and never let you go..I'm sick of crying I wish it would stop I wish I could get you out of my head but I cNt I try everything but your the only thing I think about I wish you would send me a text right now saying come home baby I miss you I love you let's try to make this work..but I know I won't ever hear Those words I'm trying to accept it I'm trying to move on but I can't yet I love you so much and I don't want to let go yet but i have to all I do isn dream about you when I do sleep I miss us I miss your love and I miss your face I love you baby always and forever

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Keep staying strong. She has nothing to give you but more pain. Keep that in your mind. Nothing changes even if you both have contact. Remind yourself of how you felt when you were in the closet by yourself while she was being unkind to you.

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I feel your struggle through the screen. Stay strong and remember the reasons why you chose to NC. You can do this.

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Hurtingguy

Trying to stay strong this has been the longest day ever wanna call you to just to hear your voice I wanna hear you tell me you love me I know your hurting too baby I just hope this makes you happy in the end I'll always be here for you I miss my bf my lover I'll never stop loving you

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Hurtingguy

So I caved in today she wouldn't stop calling she video called me today on what's app we had a long talk for a cpl hrs no fightin no crying just a good convo...she looked very sad and told me she loves me and misses...she wants to go out Thursday to a concert with me and see if we can have fun....I didn't say yes yet I said I would let her know and not to contact me in the meantime...I don't feel sad over our talk I think I've been able to accept this breakup now I dunno if it's cause I know she still loves and misses me and still wants to have contact everyday or if I have just realized that I can live without her... I k is I messed up today but I just wanted to see her face and hear her voice....any advice on what to do next guys and gals

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So I caved in today she wouldn't stop calling she video called me today on what's app we had a long talk for a cpl hrs no fightin no crying just a good convo...she looked very sad and told me she loves me and misses...she wants to go out Thursday to a concert with me and see if we can have fun....I didn't say yes yet I said I would let her know and not to contact me in the meantime...I don't feel sad over our talk I think I've been able to accept this breakup now I dunno if it's cause I know she still loves and misses me and still wants to have contact everyday or if I have just realized that I can live without her... I k is I messed up today but I just wanted to see her face and hear her voice....any advice on what to do next guys and gals

 

Like many have advised you in your past threads. You are a fallback while she transitions.

 

The advice still remains the same. NC.

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Hurtingguy
Like many have advised you in your past threads. You are a fallback while she transitions.

 

The advice still remains the same. NC.

 

Ok thanks I think I just needed to here her out one more time back to nc...thanks zahara I think I just need to be told daily not to contact her

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Ok thanks I think I just needed to here her out one more time back to nc...thanks zahara I think I just need to be told daily not to contact her

 

You need to tell her that contact should only be made if she wants to work on the relationship again and reconciling. And you need to tell her that anything other than that is not acceptable and that she needs to respect your need, your want to heal.

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Here's your daily reminder: Don't contact her and don't accept contact from her! Ever again.

 

Print this out and put it on your refrigeration, put it on a post-it and put it on your computer. Send yourself an email, put it on a billboard that's on your route to work.

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Hurtingguy
Here's your daily reminder: Don't contact her and don't accept contact from her! Ever again.

 

Print this out and put it on your refrigeration, put it on a post-it and put it on your computer. Send yourself an email, put it on a billboard that's on your route to work.

 

Yes I think I must do that I feel like if I do tho it's gonna make me think about her more but I will def try that

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Tonight's been really hard for me I should have never answered my phone today it just set me back I'm such a fool the tears won't stop now I can't get u off my mind why did u call why do u wanna hurt me more then u already have I'm sick of feeling this way I just wish I could stop loving you I wanna be free of all this heartache you have killed my heart yet I can't let u go I hate This I hate feeling like this all I did was try and make u happy love u do everything for u and this ia what I get in return a broken heart a broken soul you say u love me well **** u you have no idea what love is your selfish heartless and deserve someone that's gonna hurt u like u did to me I honestly hope u get the point to neve call me again leave me alone let me heal and move on

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So I've been in NC for 9 days now it's been very hard For me and today is really getting to me I woke up sad and miserable missing her so much...

 

Yesterday night I got a few texts from my ex saying she misses me and loves me and feels sad and lonely I didn't respond even tho I wanted to try and make her feel better... After me not replying she called and it was the hardest thing in the world not to hit that accept call button on my phone...

 

I have blocked her on all social media but not her number which I won't do just in case for some reason one day she wants to try again..

 

Does she not know saying that stuff to me will hurt me and make me miss her more? Does she just want to keep hurting me I don't understand just really need someone to talk to today I feel really down and upset

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No one is doing anything to you. The reason you are where you are is of your own doing.

 

This issue with your ex and her behavior is not unusual anymore. You keep asking the same questions. Many of us have advised you as to why she is doing it but you are insistent in keeping contact with her then upset when she does.

 

No one can help you if you do not want to help yourself.

 

It was suggested to you that you tell her that she should only contact you if she wants to reconcile and work at rebuilding the relationship -- you've chosen not to tell her that either so not sure what it is you want LS to help you with when you choose zero action in terms of taking care of yourself.

Edited by Zahara
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No one is doing anything to you. The reason you are where you are is of your own doing.

 

This issue with your ex and her behavior is not unusual anymore. You keep asking the same questions. Many of us have advised you as to why she is doing it but you are insistent in keeping contact with her then upset when she does.

 

No one can help you if you do not want to help yourself.

 

It was suggested to you that you tell her that she should only contact you if she wants to reconcile and work at rebuilding the relationship -- you've chosen not to tell her that either so not sure what it is you want LS to help you with when you choose zero action in terms of taking care of yourself.

 

I have Been in nc I don't respond to her Msgs or calls anymore I don't talk to her I don't see her I've been a ghost to her

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I have Been in nc I don't respond to her Msgs or calls anymore I don't talk to her I don't see her I've been a ghost to her

 

That is not NC. NC is implemented when you want to prioritize your healing above all else and that means blocking/deleting.

 

There is no point in doing "NC" when you want to be accessible to contact and willingly accept being affected by it.

 

And you just accepted her call. So, fail on this so called NC. You can't stay NC when you are open to being triggered by her.

 

Let's be honest 00 you want to be accessible. And she knows it and she will continue contact as she knows you are weak.

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That is not NC. NC is implemented when you want to prioritize your healing above all else and that means blocking/deleting.

 

There is no point in doing "NC" when you want to be accessible to contact and willingly accept being affected by it.

 

And you just accepted her call. So, fail on this so called NC. You can't stay NC when you are open to being triggered by her.

 

Let's be honest 00 you want to be accessible. And she knows it and she will continue contact as she knows you are weak.

 

I didn't accept her call I said I wanted to but didn't...and if I do block her number she will have no chance to get a hold of me if she ever does want to reconcile I have had zero contact with her I blocked her on all social media so she can't see what I'm up to

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I didn't accept her call I said I wanted to but didn't...and if I do block her number she will have no chance to get a hold of me if she ever does want to reconcile I have had zero contact with her I blocked her on all social media so she can't see what I'm up to

 

If you don't want to block her, then you tell her to remain NO CONTACT unless she wants to reconcile and work on the relationship. You tell her that she needs to respect your request, your feelings and your need to heal. You tell her that it is unfair for her to keep doing this when she requested an ending and she needs to leave you alone if she is choosing to stay the course. Be firm.

 

If after that she still contacts you, then you block her because she doesn't give two ***** about you and your wellbeing.

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You don't have to block her # but right now you do have to delete her messages without reading them.

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If you don't want to block her, then you tell her to remain NO CONTACT unless she wants to reconcile and work on the relationship. You tell her that she needs to respect your request, your feelings and your need to heal. You tell her that it is unfair for her to keep doing this when she requested an ending and she needs to leave you alone if she is choosing to stay the course. Be firm.

 

If after that she still contacts you, then you block her because she doesn't give two ***** about you and your wellbeing.

 

Is she just doing this tho cause she feels lonely and sad and no intentions of trying again ?

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Is she just doing this tho cause she feels lonely and sad and no intentions of trying again ?

 

Who broke up? If she did, then maybe this is her way of saying she wants to try again. But I caution you that if the reasons you broke up are not fixed you are just going right back to something that wasn't working. Especially if she said something vague like losing feelings or not feeling like you were working hard enough, the only reason she's back is that it's harder out there then she thought & you're a safe back up plan.

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Is she just doing this tho cause she feels lonely and sad and no intentions of trying again ?

 

If she wanted to try again, she's be telling you. It was reiterated and explained to you in your other threads as to why she reaches out.

 

Your story has been told on LS time and time again. The dumper that keeps the dumpee on a leash.

 

If she wanted to try again, you wouldn't be where you are.

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I read parts of your other thread. Let me see if I can piece this together:

 

You & this EX were together for 2.5 years, living together for 2. Your EX-W kept your children away from you because your EX-W didn't like the fact that you were living with this GF. Because your EX-W cheated on you, you were jealous & concerned that your GF would cheat. You also said mean things to your EX GF.

 

Finally your EX-GF woke up, realized nothing was ever going to change & finally decided to do something healthy for herself & get out of her dysfunctional relationship with you. She didn't really do this because she stopped loving you. She did this because it was the intelligent thing to do. She realized you were never going to change & she left.

 

She does dumb things like reach out because she does miss you, but she is not going to get back together with you, because she realizes that your issues -- your jealousy & his Ex-W -- are still there & they will still screw up her relationship with you.

 

Do the woman a favor & leave her be.

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I read parts of your other thread. Let me see if I can piece this together:

 

You & this EX were together for 2.5 years, living together for 2. Your EX-W kept your children away from you because your EX-W didn't like the fact that you were living with this GF. Because your EX-W cheated on you, you were jealous & concerned that your GF would cheat. You also said mean things to your EX GF.

 

Finally your EX-GF woke up, realized nothing was ever going to change & finally decided to do something healthy for herself & get out of her dysfunctional relationship with you. She didn't really do this because she stopped loving you. She did this because it was the intelligent thing to do. She realized you were never going to change & she left.

 

She does dumb things like reach out because she does miss you, but she is not going to get back together with you, because she realizes that your issues -- your jealousy & his Ex-W -- are still there & they will still screw up her relationship with you.

 

Do the woman a favor & leave her be.

I am leave her be I don't call I don't msg I stay away I do want her to be happy and k want myself to be happy again...I understand the whole exw thing and I understood the whole time how hard it was for her not to be able to meet my kids...jealousy did kill our relationship and yes it was all my fault I guess I'll have to learn from this the next time I ever decide to let someone in my heart again

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