betrayed

[kathy]

i am feeling a little betrayed,

 

on friday i had enough of watching ex being torn in two by his gf as they had seperated she was telling him he should of been with me then sending him sloopy texts he was not talking to her for the first few days she told him it just wasnt meant to be , as im allready on anti depresants i was not able to cope with keeping him ocupied though i thought i could, we discused us a nd what had happend over last few months ,

 

he then started talking tom this gf again but i could never be friends with her or forgive her she was supposed to be my friend but she didnt put my friendship any were near screwing with my ex head so that we ended up fighting so on fri he came for a coffee before going to work , after he went in hers to return a video and t shirt he sat looking very depressed ,

 

and i decided i could not remain on friendly terms with him while she was still involved with him even as a friend , when he left i said goodbye , waited for him to walk up road and decided to go for a drive to clear my head,

 

but i ended up in a quarry car park with the stereo on i sent him a couple of texts explaining that i couldnt be friends any more and sent her one saying that i knew that she had been playing with my marriage since feb/march and i hope she was happy,sent some friends texts explaining that ex wasnt to blame and then dont now why took a overdose and started digging at my arm to get at the vein ,

 

luckly for me i was found by ex who got ambulance i didnt want to be found at that time but looking back since i m lucky,

 

when i was down the hosp they wouldnt let me home untill they new that all drugs were out of my system so they had to do blood tests when they came back clear i was allowed home , after speaking to a councillor,

 

the bit i feel betrayed about is that ex has been telling everyone that because my bloods were clear that i didnt do anything and i m a sicko bitch , and he had restarted relationship with gf again .

[Marshbear32]

Let me get this straight. You exH has a g/f who was your friend. You two are divorced and he is seeing this gal and you don't like it because she broke up your marriage.

You can't take it and you decided to kill yourself but the ex came and took you to the hospital. They wouldn't let you go until your blood work was clear of drugs and now the ex is telling everyone you were faking.

 

Now he is back with the g/f.

You really to be in counseling. If you are so depressed that you tried to commit suicide then you are in danger of doing it again. Therapy is your answer. You need to deal with you and your problems. Forget about your ex and the g/f for now. Get yourself healed. Suicide is never the answer.

 

Good Luck....

[kathy]

thank you we are not divorced yet i have suspened the processs because we were talking we were that close to sorting out things,

 

he left only 2mths ago what hurts the most is this is all going on under my nose , i thought he cared a little to be able to asort out us but the said gf wanted to remain friends and i couldnt do that im not unresonable ,

 

i allready being treted for depression because of her stirring things up before he left , he had come to the conclussion that most of our problems were her but first sign of problems and back there he crawles,

 

i am having councilling but i am that low at the moment i have had a short term dose of meds to help me through the last few days,

 

i am trying to concentrate on my children and myself but it feels like im back at the beginning.

[Marshbear32]

You need to talk to people to help you through this situation. You need to think about your children as well as yourself. There are suicide hotlines in many cities where you can call and get help.

 

Hon, you are not alone. Your ex is not worth your life. Do us all a favor and get yourself help so we don't have to worry about you. We care about you at LS so hang in there and concentrate on the kids and you and that there are people here who care and love you...

[kathy]

thank you for your kind words im in the uk and have help nos now on my mobile,i have lots of ppl to talk to but nobody that has gone through this situation,

 

im better of on my own i was nearly there when he had his crisis last week, and put all my energies into helping him and not concertrating on my self,

 

that is no excuse for what i put my children through but i didnt go out with this intention in mind as i never took any thing other than what i had on me and i have quite a lot of medication in my house, im gratefull that he found me in a way as i still have the chance to seee my kids grow up,

 

 

i didnt do it to get him back in the back of my mind i was actually thinking that if he was concentrating on the children then she would not have her claws in him,(you got to know this female to understand how bad she is)

 

we are back at square one i didnt judge him once when he wanted help or attention but the moment that he felt like something out of his control he picked up with her again, we are doing nc but i am feeling like the last 2mths were a waist i have had to have meds to help me sleep and to get me through the day , i didnt need that when he left because i felt like i was the fault yes i didnt sleep , but i put my energies into sorting out my life ,kids and the house you wouldnt belive how much i let the house slip in one week ,

 

i am cross that i cant be botherd to clean each day as up untill that weeek i had the place spotless the kids do pick up on these moods and it doesnt do them any good, im now talking and holding my head as high as i can so again i can move on .

[Marshbear32]

I know it's hard when someone has hurt you. You want to lash out at them and you also want them to know you exist and still care about you. All you can do is take things slow and work on yourself to get your self esteem back and then you will care about your house and life. Keep talking to people, especially when you get down or feel like you did before. It really helps to talk when you feel unloved.

 

All I can tell you is to look at this trying time in your life as a learning experience because I really believe that when we go through such tough times then the good times for you are just around the corner. Your life will not always be pain and heartache. Think of your children and the joys of their lives and that will carry you on for a better life. If there is anything else I can do to encourage you please post again on LS because you have many friends here ready to lift you up when the dark days come.

 

Peace...