Are relationships even worth it?

[Aurorakl]

I'm only in my late twenties but I have already loved and lost and had some pretty difficult relationships. I've fallen madly in love and thought that person was everything to it ending in complete heartbreak. I used to think everything will always work out in the end and that one day I would better. But now I wonder if that will really happen.

 

I know people who have always wanted to have children and then never end up having any because they didn't meet the right person. Even those that get married after years of being happy end up divorced. People you think would never lie or cheat do. Emotional affairs happen. People fall out of love. The relationship gets boring. You drift apart.

 

Are all relationships going to end in heartbreak? Are there any out there that can stay loving and genuine? I'm starting to think that I should just give up hope on them all and accept that it's not going to happen for me. Breakups are are so hard I don't think I would be able to cope with any more of it.

[somanymistakes]

All relationships end in heartbreak - either you leave each other or one of you dies. There will always be sadness in the end.

 

But there can be a lot of happiness getting there. If you're happy for twenty years and then eventually things fall apart, that end is very sad but is avoiding it really worth giving up all the happiness too?

[preraph]

Everyone experiences heartbreak and some people never do have a happy successful relationship. In my old age, I've come to think that happy people who are also easy going have the best luck at finding partners. But then being overly tolerant will attract bad people to you because you're not quick to run them off because of soft boundaries.

 

The best thing I can tell you is to work on becoming happy on your own. It's your best chance to find someone, plus it's the best outcome if you end up without.

[LargoLagg]

Yes, all relationships end, but no, not all relationships end in heartbreak. Many times, while you might feel a little sad, it doesn't kill either of you to start seeing other people, because you know you're not right for each other. I know widows and widowers who were not particularly broken up about their newfound freedom.

 

Also, I'm a firm believer in the idea that your heart can be broken only once. After that, yes, you can get hurt badly, but you recover and move on more completely. For me, it's that first love, but everybody seems to have that one person they just could not get completely over.

 

What I've noticed is that when you go through those times, when somebody hurts you or disappoints you, you begin to think how much happier you'd be if you just didn't care. And then you don't care, and it's true, you're having the time of your life, and it really is a lot of fun (assuming you're not all hung up on being in a relationship or in love).

 

Then, that special person comes along, and you fall in love and it's just great...until it ends, and the cycle begins again.