Letting go

[hew]

I feel sad but at peace with my relationship. Its really hard to lose someone you loved but knew you can't be with them for a lot of reasons. I know time heals, but just the thought of moving on makes me feel sad because I didn't think I would ever have to from him. I know it's silly, and I know I will feel better, but in the present moment it hurts.

 

When I review our relationship in my thoughts, I realize that just because we were content living together, we weren't actually happy. We had different interests and different friends, but to me he was one of my very best friends. Losing your best friend and partner hits hard cause its like losing two people in one.

 

The part thats making me feel at peace is I feel like i reclaimed myself and my apartment again as my own. A weight was lifted off my shoulders.

 

At the end of it all, I was the only one who wanted to change and try and make things better. I broke it off with him and I know I really hurt him because when we reconnected for a night of closure we both cried together and held each other. But I was the only one to try and make a plan of action to move forward, and I acknowledged my flaws and what I could do to make it work better. He not once said how he would try or what he could change. He barely had anything to say to me. He said he thinks our relationship with be more of the same and that he's scared and doesn't know what to do. It opened my eyes a bit and made me realize I deserve better. I deserve someone who wants to fight for me too and work on things.

 

Im just trying to be as positive as I can right now. I have a couple good things going for me in my future with school and a new job. I just have to remember sometimes people are just not good for each other. Timing just isn't right.

[Frostedflake]

This is a very mature analysis of your breakup. You seemed to skip right over the resentment and anger part. Wish I could have!

 

It sucks when someone won't change for the relationship. When you know it would make it better. Make them "better".

Just know that it wasn't to spite you. As you said, the timing just isn't right sometimes. And the things we refuse to change are usually what we think will carry us to the person and places we want to be. It's not all for the sake of being stubborn.

Happy healing.