Setting the record straight on STRIP CLUBS! Ladies, get in here!!!

[lindya]

Originally posted by scratch

2. Why would it naturally turn into a gay bar? Is it a matter of money? Flesh out your reasoning.

 

I think men just tend to have more of a craving than women do for visual stimuli. I don't know whether that's because society still encourages women to BE visual stimuli rather than to get enjoyment from visuals, or whether it's an innate thing...but if you wanted to make money from the porn industry, and you were given a choice between two target markets - women or gay men - which would you choose?

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by lindya

but if you wanted to make money from the porn industry, and you were given a choice between two target markets - women or gay men - which would you choose?

 

At least *one* of us is going to be getting her MBA from studying strip clubs

[scratch]

Originally posted by lindya

I think men just tend to have more of a craving than women do for visual stimuli. I don't know whether that's because society still encourages women to BE visual stimuli rather than to get enjoyment from visuals, or whether it's an innate thing...but if you wanted to make money from the porn industry, and you were given a choice between two target markets - women or gay men - which would you choose?

 

Depends on the relative saturation of the market, but all else equal, I absoultely would market to gay men. In light of that, there is a well-serviced niche market for clubs that cater to women where gay (or straight) men are denied entry, presumably in hopes of keeping the club appealing to female clientele.

[EnigmaXOXO]

A lot of close minded insecure women in this thread. Support education, tip well at strip clubs!

 

 

I suppose my cash went to support his banana-sling wardrobe, steroid habit, gym membership and weekly back waxings. Somehow, I don't think "education" was a priority since trying to hold a conversation with them kinda blew the fantasy. But who cares, since most of us women fantasize about the strong, silent type anyway.

 

Even Tarzan lacked basic vocabulary skills, but was d*mn sexy anyway!

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by lindya

I think men just tend to have more of a craving than women do for visual stimuli.

As a general statement this is probably true. In a particular case it does not necessarily apply.

 

If I were ever to go to a strip club it would be because my SO almost drags me there, and not because I have the desire to visit one.

 

If I have an interest in bonding at a particular time, I'd prefer to keep any possible distractions at a minimum. The thing that counts is bonding, so I can't see what added bonus the strip club setting would offer, compared to a normal cafe, or even simply at home. Or if weather permits, outside.

[lindya]

Originally posted by ReluctantRomeo

At least *one* of us is going to be getting her MBA from studying strip clubs

 

Oh, I could just ask around some of my male colleagues, and they'd tell me everything I need to know about strip clubs. My last employer would have happily funded me through that MBA.

[SoftDrink]

to the original poster--no one can't take one person's account as the simple and absolute truth regarding every club, even if they are trying to "set the record straight."

[lindya]

Originally posted by scratch

I'm here because I am a bad guy who exposes women to mysogynistic environments

 

Going back to your comment about market saturation....

[scratch]

Originally posted by lindya

Going back to your comment about market saturation....

 

Not at all. This site is formatted in pink, for Christ's sake!

 

Nature abhors a vaccum, so here I am.

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by Forget About Her

I've read several threads regarding women complaining about the dreaded, dun dun dun...STRIP CLUB! Listen up good ladies, strip clubs have NOTHING to do with your man being unsatisfied with you or your body. Men do not go to strip clubs to get lucky or have sex with women, b/c in all honesty, it is harder to pick up a stripper at a strip club than it is to pick up some random 'slut' at a regular club. Strip clubs are about bonding with your boys, unless your man goes there alone, then you have some issues.

 

But whenever I go to a strip club with my buddies, its about being out with your bud's and having a good time. Believe it or not, the girls are a secondary attraction. A strip club is a unique environment and for the most part, it has a very fun, laid back atmosphere. Nobody is embarrassed about anything, because ****, there are naked women walking around everywhere. It's not like your man can go up and feel all over the girl, or his ass will get tossed out of the club and most likely catch an ass whipping as well.

 

I've only had one girlfriend ever reluctant about me going to strip clubs. I asked her to come out with us one night and when she did, she apologized for giving me **** and now she doesn't bat an eye, after seeing what goes on. It's really not that bad, it has nothing to do with not being satisfied. If you are really that concerned, go with him and his boy's one night to see how it is.

 

Is this supposed to be new information? Some brilliant revelation to help all us naive, sheltered women see the light?

 

I've been to strip clubs. I know exactly what goes on there. I've been there with boyfriends and without. Heck, I was at one last month. I also know what it's about and what it's not about, and at this point, I would not approve of a boyfriend going to one even if he offered to take me along. He could go if he wanted, but it would just lower my opinion of him and how important he felt our relationship was.

 

I like looking at naked and half naked guys just as much as most men like looking at women. Me and my girls are even going to a male strip club next weekend (but none of us are in relationships right now). I don't even mind looking at women sometimes, but there's no place for that kind of thing in a committed relationship.

 

And if I ever thought my guy was going to a strip club trying to get laid, I'd dump his a$$ for being a f***ing moron, not for wanting to cheat on me.

[EnigmaXOXO]

I like looking at naked and half naked guys just as much as most men like looking at women. Me and my girls are even going to a male strip club next weekend (but none of us are in relationships right now). I don't even mind looking at women sometimes, but there's no place for that kind of thing in a committed relationship.

 

And if I ever thought my guy was going to a strip club trying to get laid, I'd dump his a$$ for being a f***ing moron, not for wanting to cheat on me.

 

 

Sing it sista!

 

By the way, wave a twenty at the long-haired guy for me. You know…the one usually wearing the fake leopard skin loin cloth.

 

My partner and I have also curbed our appetite for the naked club scene too. Not because we're worried about cheating on each other…but because a relationship requires that you stop acting like a couple of single "morons."

 

Absolutely worth the trade if you're happy with the booty you got at home.

[Jolene]

Wow!

 

This is not complicated.....

 

Some exotic dancers will have made thousands in a day because their dances are uniquely "choreographed", and then others will pocket three or four hundred in a five hour shift for allowing heavy petting. Gone are the days of the $5 table dance, no touching and a bouncer that cares about anything but collecting cover charge.)

 

Quite simply, men who go to these places are hip to the fact that it's still very much a man's world. Of course it's male bonding time...it's a nasty secret that they keep from their women that places exist that sell women like appetizers in a restaurant. It's like cattle call on a stage with music and lights where the DJ makes them all sound like a piece of candy. They can choose their favourite girl and have as much s*x as she will allow (sometimes very little, but that won't keep the customer's wallet open for too long will it?) for a certain price and per song.

 

Often, though, these ladies will patronize men (especially the ones who are alone) to sit with them and talk and drink until he is ready to spend spend spend. Talking to them is feeding their ego. Flirting with him turns him on.

 

When guys are in a club together, they always always say they are at the back not even noticing the girls which is complete crap!!!!!

 

They all want good seats. They all pay attention. They all want the girls to sit at their table and they can almost all be persuaded by the right girl to spend their money. Some girls are happy to just sit there and drink, and some are more ambitious.

 

The bottom line is that guys have egos, and some guys are so lacking in that regard that they find pleasure in having their egos stroked (and other things) in a place like this.

 

REAL men have other interests.....like hanging around with their devoted, beautiful, interesting, and loving wives or girlfriends.

 

~This is the truth. Sorry guys. You lose. Sorry girls, you're also not going to win if your guy goes there. Feel sorry for him that his ego is so deflated that he has to resort to women that act like they love being a whre for their hard earned money, but in reality they wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

[scratch]

Originally posted by Jolene

Wow!

 

This is not complicated.....

 

Of course not. Nothing is complicated in your black and white world, it seems.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Quite simply, men who go to these places are hip to the fact that it's still very much a man's world. Of course it's male bonding time...it's a nasty secret that they keep from their women that places exist that sell women like appetizers in a restaurant. It's like cattle call on a stage with music and lights where the DJ makes them all sound like a piece of candy. They can choose their favourite girl and have as much sex as she will allow (sometimes very little, but that won't keep the customer's wallet open for too long will it?) for a certain price and per song.

 

Could you provide some verifiable, or anecdotal evidence to support your claim that strip clubs are good places to successfully purchase illicit sex? I'm pretty sure you're making this up, and have no knowledge of such circumstances.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Often, though, these ladies will patronize men (especially the ones who are alone) to sit with them and talk and drink until he is ready to spend spend spend. Talking to them is feeding their ego. Flirting with him turns him on.

 

What's your point? Isn't every single person posting here in agreement that men who frequent strip clubs alone are rather pathetic, and looking for sex?

 

Originally posted by Jolene

When guys are in a club together, they always always say they are at the back not even noticing the girls which is complete crap!!!!!

 

They all want good seats. They all pay attention. They all want the girls to sit at their table and they can almost all be persuaded by the right girl to spend their money. Some girls are happy to just sit there and drink, and some are more ambitious.

 

Not quite. They say they are interacting with their companions, and the club employees are props. Of course they notice the girls. If a man told you otherwise, he was lying to you, possibly because he knew how intolerant you are on the subject.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

The bottom line is that guys have egos, and some guys are so lacking in that regard that they find pleasure in having their egos stroked (and other things) in a place like this.

 

REAL men have other interests.....like hanging around with their devoted, beautiful, interesting, and loving wives or girlfriends.

 

Could their egos be lacking because they have to deal with shrews who question their manhood every time they wish to do something of which she doesn't approve? Real women aren't so torn apart by their own insecurity and poor body image (although said body image is often justified) that they would resort to this tactic to browbeat her man back into step.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

This is the truth. Sorry guys. You lose. Sorry girls, you're also not going to win if your guy goes there. Feel sorry for him that his ego is so deflated that he has to resort to women that act like they love being a whore for their hard earned money, but in reality they wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

 

It must take a pretty strong inferiority complex to acknowledge that a man you're dating isn't someone a stripper would touch with a ten foot pole. I'm sure most women on this forum wouldn't agree with you here.

[Jolene]

Why is it that when people are backed into a corner, they always want references and scientific proof? Things are now all black and white. But you want to complicate the issues for more colour?

 

If the truth hurts so bad, why don't you just resolve to the facts instead of denying what is the absolute truth?

 

Think about it....it's the truth...I know what I am talking about....you know it...and you don't like it....

 

BECAUSE.....now listen carefully....as soon as typical and unsuspecting mainstream women really find out what that scene is all about, rue the day when men can no longer hang a crappy line one on their wife or girlfriend as "yeah, we're focusing on each other, not the girls" (like hell).

 

It's more like (in the extreme cases) "I don't want to bother with my wife, so I come here and get off without all the bull*t of having an affair." It's quicker and easier, and in the long run...cheaper. But not safer. Funding and education is not likely to be happening during this dynamic, so don't justify the s*xual gluttony by blowing this kind of hot air up my keester!

 

Don't even try......you have no clue who you are talking to. Do you?

 

As far as refering to a man in a club that she wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole....what this means is that these women are people like they are actually human. They would rather touch their babies, their boyfriends or their husbands. Even you women in this forum are convinced that exotic dancers are dying to grope and feel any man that looks half decent. Think about it people...it's a business, and an immoral one, and a very sad and unfulfilling lifestyle in the longrun. The men that hang there looking for action are merely automobiles that cannot be fixed and are not likely to provide a stable relationship.....because (now listen carefully)....if they were able to be in stable fulfilling and healthy relationships they wouldn't be hanging in a strip joint.

[scratch]

Originally posted by Jolene

Why is it that when people are backed into a corner, they always want references and scientific proof? Things are now all black and white. But you want to complicate the issues for more colour?

 

I am speechless. Did you hear what you just said? For the record, I asked for anecdotal evidence as well. Basically, I was hoping for any sign, however minimal, that you just didn't concoct your entire allegation out of thin air.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

If the truth hurts so bad, why don't you just resolve to the facts instead of denying what is the absolute truth?

 

At this point, I'm practically begging to hear a "fact." Throw me a bone, won't you?

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Think about it....it's the truth...I know what I am talking about....you know it...and you don't like it....

 

Gee, that's compelling. Since you say it's the truth, and you say that you know what you're talking about, that changes everything. I didn't realize that adults resorted to these kinds of argments. On the other hand, I bet nobody ever outwits you in the block corner, or during coloring time.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

BECAUSE.....now listen carefully....as soon as typical and unsuspecting mainstream women really find out what that scene is all about, rue the day when men can no longer hang a crappy line one on their wife or girlfriend as "yeah, we're focusing on each other, not the girls" (like hell).

 

Women are always welcome at strip clubs. I shudder to think how little a man must enjoy the company of a woman to prefer she not accompany him to a club.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

It's more like (in the extreme cases) "I don't want to bother with my wife, so I come here and get off without all the bull*t of having an affair." It's quicker and easier, and in the long run...cheaper. But not safer. Funding and education is not likely to be happening during this dynamic, so don't justify the sexual gluttony by blowing this kind of hot air up my keester!

 

Are you referring to prostitution? Are you of the opinion that strip clubs and prositution are closely correlated? If so, why? Everything I've seen or experienced indicates otherwise.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Don't even try......you have no clue who you are talking to. Do you?

 

I certainly don't. Were you a stripper or a prostitute? Are you one now? Did you lose a man to one such woman? Who, pray tell, am I talking to?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by Jolene

The bottom line is that guys have egos, and some guys are so lacking in that regard that they find pleasure in having their egos stroked (and other things) in a place like this.

this is true JOLENE but look at the flipside also. in a strip club the man has the power to say yes or no. He can reject a beautiful naked young woman when she comes and asks if HE wants a table dance. Where the f*** else can any man do this???

 

Go to any regular bar and you'll see the women are the ones in the power position and makeing the decsions. The women are feeding their egos and getting free drinks and telling guys they are available when they really have b/f or hubby at home.

 

What goes areound comes around JOLENE...

[New_Wife]

So let me get this straight: Not wanting your partner to pant at, put money in the shorts of, and grind with other barely clothed people signals insecurity; so then committing to be undressed and intimate with only your partner - according to your logic - signals what? Downright neurosis?

 

Do you propose that secure women heartily embrace the chance for their husbands to go toss the grocery money into the g-string of some 30 year old platinum blonde with more miles that amtrack on her? Does she securly say, "Hey, and while you're at it - we can skip the TP and haircuts for the kids this month, why not grab a dry hump?"

 

Hogwash!

 

An insecure woman could perhaps be convinced that this is all 'male bonding that has nothing to do with sex' as her insecurities would allow her to be convinced of something she knows to be untrue just to keep a relationship. Only secure men and women call BS on lines that are - make no mistake - BS.

 

It is one thing to passively notice an attractive male or female on the street - we've all got eyes. It is quite another to actively seek out an environment where abundant nearly nude flesh is yours for the taking (and a few dollars) for sex stimulations.

 

Therein, lies the difference that folks who have matured beyond Clearasil seem to get.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by New_Wife

Do you propose that secure women heartily embrace the chance for their husbands to go toss the grocery money into the g-string of some 30 year old platinum blonde

I believe that would be a 21 yr old platinum blonde

[New_Wife]

Ah, well that shoot, take the car payment too, Alpha!

 

What do you want for dinner when you're done, Dear?

[noname]

Originally posted by Jolene

They all want good seats. They all pay attention. They all want the girls to sit at their table and they can almost all be persuaded by the right girl to spend their money. Some girls are happy to just sit there and drink, and some are more ambitious.

 

The bottom line is that guys have egos, and some guys are so lacking in that regard that they find pleasure in having their egos stroked (and other things) in a place like this.

 

REAL men have other interests.....like hanging around with their devoted, beautiful, interesting, and loving wives or girlfriends.

 

~This is the truth. Sorry guys. You lose. Sorry girls, you're also not going to win if your guy goes there. Feel sorry for him that his ego is so deflated that he has to resort to women that act like they love being a whre for their hard earned money, but in reality they wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole.

 

actually the bottom line here is that there are no absolutes. different men go to strip clubs for different reasons. some to bond some to try to get sex. some to entertain clients. and yes, some to stroke egos, etc.

 

not all men sit there and talk to women. not everyone wants the good seats (the good seats usually cost more). not everyone goes to cop a feel. not everyone enjoys lap dances.

 

i have no problems with my ego. it is neither deflated or enlarged. i don't frequent strip clubs but if i do go occasionally, i go to see naked women. simple. the female form is beautiful and i enjoy it. that doesn't make me any less "REAL". i love hanging out with my devoted, beautiful, interesting, loving woman, who knows better than to feel threatened and to think that she is not going to win because i saw some naked women the other night. and i give her the same trust and respect...

 

different people go for different reasons. where i don't agree that FAH has set the record straight (simply because all men are different), i understand his intentions with trying to bring another viewpoint to what goes on inside. that is his reality, and judge as we might, i would bank on the fact that he is telling the truth. the problem with his argument is the same thing with yours, there is no absolute truth....

[Jolene]

Squirm baby squirm. I'm too much of a lady to throw this dog a bone. Let me go back to the civilized world now.

 

Oh and you forgot to tell all the lovely ladies out there about champagne lounges and "pervert row".

 

Tell you what honey....you start telling the truth and making sense, and I will divulge to you my sources.

 

I hope you have such a nice day, scratch. I knew a guy named Jerry Skrach...he was very unique and had a great sense of humour. Perhaps you know this gentleman?

[LucreziaBorgia]

What about the guys that just like looking at naked aesthetically pleasing women for fun? Most of the guys I know (and including myself as a woman, as I have a very healthy appreciation for hot women) just go there to enjoy the scenery and throw back a few beers.

 

When a hot woman is dancing up on me, I don't think "I wonder if she finds me attractive" or "I think this is a woman I'd like to date and spend quality time with". I just enjoy the mindless pleasure of the proximity of a hot woman. Nothing more, nothing less. Most guys I know are the same. Its flesh and blood fantasy - you get nothing more when you leave after the experience than you would when you turn off the porn in your DVD player. The club I go to here has a very strict 'no touch' policy. If you are getting a lap dance, she can touch you - but your hands have to stay down at your sides, and there is usually a big, bald burly looking bouncer right there in case a guy tries to reciprocate. Maybe its different in other clubs, where the guy gets to grab her while she's dancing and grind her down on him for a dry hump - but certainly not in the places I've been. Its just a way to have it right up in your face but with no intent to actually reciprocate (lest you find your noggin busted by the bouncer). I'm sure a healthy, sexually aware male is going to get a boner or at least think about having sex with her while its happening - but does that mean that he is going to? Nope.

 

I guess the crux of the problem lies in the girlfriend knowing that her boyfriend is going to have sexual thoughts about some other woman. But, heck - that happens all the time strip club or no. I guess the strip club is something that is more or less a guarantee that he is going to have sexual thoughts.

 

Of course, I guess if it goes into the realm of interactive contact - where you put your money down for a hand job or something in the back room you are talking about something that crosses that line between fantasy and intent.

 

If it has an effect on how he treats you at home, or if he goes there WAY too much, or prefers going to the club to being with you then there is a problem. Not with the strip club, but with the way the guy is subbing in that for actual intimacy with his girlfriend.

[scratch]

What she says, what she means:

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Squirm baby squirm. I'm too much of a lady to throw this dog a bone. Let me go back to the civilized world now.

 

I have nothing to offer, and am unable to see the argument through, but am going to make it look like I'm taking the high road when I skulk away.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Oh and you forgot to tell all the lovely ladies out there about champagne lounges and "pervert row".

 

On second thought, I don't know how to take the high road, so on my way out I'll throw out another unsubstantiated allegation.

 

Originally posted by Jolene

Tell you what honey....you start telling the truth and making sense, and I will divulge to you my sources.

 

Aha! Here's another opportunity for me to toss out a smokescreen to mask my utter lack of facts!

 

Originally posted by Jolene

I hope you have a nice day.

 

Look for me in my next video, the girl on girl and bukake scenes are especially steamy!

[ThumbingMyWay]

Originally posted by LucreziaBorgia

What about the guys that just like looking at naked aesthetically pleasing women for fun? Most of the guys I know (and including myself as a woman, as I have a very healthy appreciation for hot women) just go there to enjoy the scenery and throw back a few beers.

 

When a hot woman is dancing up on me, I don't think "I wonder if she finds me attractive" or "I think this is a woman I'd like to date and spend quality time with". I just enjoy the mindless pleasure of the proximity of a hot woman. Nothing more, nothing less. Most guys I know are the same. Its flesh and blood fantasy - you get nothing more when you leave after the experience than you would when you turn off the porn in your DVD player. The club I go to here has a very strict 'no touch' policy. If you are getting a lap dance, she can touch you - but your hands have to stay down at your sides, and there is usually a big, bald burly looking bouncer right there in case a guy tries to reciprocate. Maybe its different in other clubs, where the guy gets to grab her while she's dancing and grind her down on him for a dry hump - but certainly not in the places I've been. Its just a way to have it right up in your face but with no intent to actually reciprocate (lest you find your noggin busted by the bouncer). I'm sure a healthy, sexually aware male is going to get a boner or at least think about having sex with her while its happening - but does that mean that he is going to? Nope.

 

I guess the crux of the problem lies in the girlfriend knowing that her boyfriend is going to have sexual thoughts about some other woman. But, heck - that happens all the time strip club or no. I guess the strip club is something that is more or less a guarantee that he is going to have sexual thoughts.

 

Of course, I guess if it goes into the realm of interactive contact - where you put your money down for a hand job or something in the back room you are talking about something that crosses that line between fantasy and intent.

 

If it has an effect on how he treats you at home, or if he goes there WAY too much, or prefers going to the club to being with you then there is a problem. Not with the strip club, but with the way the guy is subbing in that for actual intimacy with his girlfriend.

 

 

I completely agree with LB......Especially with her first paragraph....

 

I think some people need to lighten up.....

[crazy_grl]

Originally posted by ThumbingMyWay

I think some people need to lighten up.....

 

I don't think people should be told to lighten up when dealing with the moral and ethical values. If that's how they feel about something, that's how they feel. There doesn't have to be a cut and dried logical reason for it. Of course, more often than not, there is some logical reason.

 

A friend of mine once told me that he was uncomfortable with something, but I couldn't understand why. He couldn't explain the reason. He just was, and he asked me to accept it. I did, because it's not right to try to change that person's feelings to suit my needs or because my way will be 'better' for them, as though they don't have the capacity to make informed decisions on their own.

 

If a guy or a girl can't accept that their SO is uncomfortable with strip clubs, then they're not showing respect. All the justifications they can think of don't change that.