Woman at work

[bravojohn]

Guys, how do you go about asking someone at work out?

 

Here's the deal. At a function recently I noticed a woman that works for our company. Same building, different department.

 

It feels silly but it's the first time in years my heart has skipped a beat, and now does when I see her. Of course, since the function I notice her regularly.

 

I've not had an opportunity to introduce myself to her. Partly, cos I'm pretty shy, but also because she has a male friend that is almost always with her. She is definitely single and from what I gather their relationship is strictly platonic. All good news. However, this guy is practically always with her. I've been hoping to make an introduction over lunch or similar should the occasion arise, yet, alas, every time I see her, her friend is with her. Not exactly an easy option.

 

Then, secondly, should some form of introduction occur, how do I go about taking the next step? Some colleagues suggest I just IM her but I find that a little creepy, seeing as she does not know me.

 

Thoughts?

[d0nnivain]

Start slowly. Do you ever go out to drinks after work with colleagues? Organize a happy hour & invite her along.

 

 

Talk to her there & from there ask her on a date.

 

 

Do not use any interoffice memo / IM tools supplied by your employer.

 

 

Before you do this think about what you will do if you date & things go south. That's the rub with dating co workers. After a break up you still have to see them every day.

[spiderowl]

Yes, I see your problem. I would not assume that the guy who is always with her is a platonic friend. If so, why is he always with her? Anyway, I would make sure he is out of the room before making any sort of move.

 

Check that your employer does not ban romantic relationships at work. I don't think any enlightened employer would, with the proviso that employees must not let private relationships affect their work or impact on their colleagues, but it is worth checking.

 

I second that is is not wise to use any work media to contact her - email, work IM, apps. Keep it private.

 

Facebook is a possibility. You could send a friend request. I don't think it is creepy. If a colleague I might like tried to contact me privately, I would be flattered, as long as he was polite, decent, and did not persist if I seemed lukewarm about it.

 

Another thing to do might be to find out where she hangs out for lunch and find an excuse to go there one day to 'drop something off'. You could always resort to handing her a note with your private email on, asking her to contact you because you'd like to chat outside work.

 

Anyone would understand that it is not easy to make contact with a work colleague in another department, so I think she would forgive you for being a bit forward as long as you were discreet and respectful.

[basil67]

Has she noticed you? It's just that if you send her a FB request or any other form of online contact, she may not know you from a bar of soap.

 

How about doing things the old fashioned way - smile and say "hi" when you pass her.