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Family in distress


ChanSummary

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ChanSummary

Hi,

 

I want to help a family who just lost a loved one from a tragic death. I noticed that they are no longer the same in the way they treat each other. It's been three years and this once close and happy family has never been the same again. What can I do? I was thinking of offering professional help like family counseling.

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Do they talk to you about their problems and ask you for help? If so then an offer of family counselling is very kind and generous of you. However if they have not asked for your help or your opinion then an offer of counselling might be seen as over stepping. Is there a reason that they wouldn't have had counselling before if that's something they would be open to?

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ChanSummary,

 

You come across as an intuitive and very caring and compassionate person; empathic to the point where other people's struggles and legitimate points of learning and growth can cause you real distress. It is also for you to learn and master what Bhuddists call 'non-attachment' to all the appearances, conditions and circumstances in the material world of form.

 

With this particular family, it's possible that how you perceived them prior to their loss was not entirely accurate. Another possibility is that the person who transitioned was actually the one who was holding or forcing the apparent outward closeness and happiness, and what you are seeing now is more a matter of all of the rest of the family being able to be more of who they truly are at this stage of their individual personal/spiritual developments.

 

If you have a close relationship with any of them, then you can speak with people individually and ASK how they are doing and feeling. Ask them and accept their answers without projecting onto any individual or the group as a whole your own observations, feelings, opinions...they may not be experiencing their lives, individually or as a family, as you are seeing it or think you are seeing it.

 

Wishing you and this family the best.

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