Author djdiddlez Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 I think im mostly clinging to the past. I mostly just want a summer romance before i leave in the fall Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Well, it's still early and there's lots of other women, so go out and do active things with friends and without and meet some new ones. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Remember, crazy is as crazy does. It is what it is. So don't act crazy if you don't want to be thought of that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GianKal Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I think there might be a possibility.. if the new guy is indeed manipulative she will dump him as soon as the honeymoon phase end, and she might return. Don't hope for much though.. If I was about to throw a percentage, it might be 20% chance but that's not how it works! In my situation she knew me for 10 years and broke up with me (maybe as well for someone else). I didn't beg or plead or anything and she never came back (as of today - 5 months later). Instead I met with her the other day and she was sure about her decision.. So emotionally I am back to day 5 post-breakup and that's because I was hoping she might regret her decision. Hope is a dangerous thing. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I think im mostly clinging to the past. I mostly just want a summer romance before i leave in the fall That is a big step toward being over her. You have figured out that you don't really want her, you just want somebody to have fun with. Be careful of the rebound. But it's only June. If you want a summer romance, go out & find one. Even if you don't find one, have a blast looking for one. When fall comes, just be clear that it's over & you are on to the next chapter in your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted June 13, 2017 Share Posted June 13, 2017 A lot of us have done the same 'psycho' things that you have. It's a bit cringe-worthy for a while but you'll be ok the more time goes on and the more distance you get from your ex and the whole scenario. It sounds like your ex is not a good person to be around or associate with, and I think that fact will help your recovery a great deal. Your ex's opinion becomes less relevant as you mourn this relationship and move on with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 (edited) As stated in a few of my other posts, i just got out of my first relationship ever. It lasted a year and a half and we were eachothers first everything. She broke up with me and immediately started to date someone who im sure she was becoming emotionally involved with while we were dating. She has qualities which lead me to believe she is a serial monogamist. She has been very hostile since the break up, which i will admit i did not take well. She claims that she is miles happier with this new guy and that she feels no sort of regret of guilt to how things went, but she still constantly talks about me to mutual friends. The new guy is a completely player, and everyone knows so. Are these people actually happy? And do they realise what theyve done eventually? Edited June 16, 2017 by djdiddlez Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I'm a serial monogamist. My relationship status rarely makes me unhappy. I would go from one LTR to the next. I didn't cheat. I didn't really "play the field." I enjoyed being in relationships & usually picked good loving fun partners. She was most likely more emotionally checked out of your relationship before it officially ended. I'm like that too. I don't break up with people on a whim. It's a long thought out process, where I try to fix things before ending the relationship. By the time it's over I am well & truly done so I don't need a lot of time between the end & the beginning of the next romance because I already did my processing. I don't know exactly what you are asking when you ask if "they know what they have done." yes, she's aware that she broke up with you. But it's unlikely that she is going to wake up one day in the future & decide that she made a mistake & want to come back. Sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 . She has qualities which lead me to believe she is a serial monogamist. And is that a bad thing? Most people are serial monogamists and unless you decide to now spend your life alone or want to go down the polygamy route, or want to spend your life cheating on all and sundry, then it is your "fate" too. Link to post Share on other sites
LoverofWrestling Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 I've always been in monogamous relationships and I prefer things that way. I couldn't cope with a poly relationship at all as I'd be miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 I mustve messed up on the definition. What she is is someone who would drop a very solid relationship for the feeling of lust. Believing that she is entering the same kind of relationship we had. I dont know what exactly its called but she is willing to cheat emotionally but not let the other partner cheat. She's a very toxic person in hindsight. Isnt it crazy she's the vindictive one? Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 Theres a girl on twitter who caught my eye. We seem to have some of the same interests but nothing of conversation to my knowledge. She's pretty popular and i know she has no clue who i am, Is there anything i can say to start a conversation and see if she's remotely interested? I was thinking something along the lines of "Hey your pretty cute you should text me sometime" and not leave my number. Too creepy? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 If you are really hot she will not hesitate to talk to you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2017 Share Posted June 17, 2017 She wants what she wants. You are not the first solid all around good guy to be dumped for the proverbial bad boy. You won't be the last. Only she knows whether she's happy. Regardless, she's not your problem anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 17, 2017 Author Share Posted June 17, 2017 It didnt work, onto the next girl lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hercules22 Posted June 18, 2017 Share Posted June 18, 2017 It didnt work, onto the next girl lol thats the spirit lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 18, 2017 Author Share Posted June 18, 2017 I've only been here for a week or two maybe but this website has helped me get over my relationship and improve as a person and partner. I have only grown from this experience and while at times I was down and never thought I could do it, I have finally moved on from my ex. Realizations: 1. My ex was a total narc. She did not care for the relationship at all, just how I saw her in my eyes. When i started to point out her flaws and ask for her to make effort, she checked out and moved onto the next person that saw her as a goddess. These kinds of people are only gonna get passed around until they hit an all time low. I'm 100% sure of it. 2. Happiness comes from inside. I solely relied on this person for happiness, I lost track of all the fun I was having in my life away from her. I missed out on a lot of experiences and abandoned my friends for someone who betrayed me in the end. You'll never leave yourself. If someone leaves you and you rely on them, you'll be hurt. 3. The signs were always there. I will not let love blind me anymore. My ex would flood me with comments like "That guy likes me" or "All these guys keep catcalling me". All of these were attempts to make me jealous. Not a flirty jealous, a very cruel and demeaning jealousy. Kinda like "You better treat me like a queen or I can just move to someone else." Anyways, thanks for everyone's help. I deserve better and can most definitely do better. I'm leaving for basic training sometime soon to escape my town and begin my next chapter. To others in a rough time. I guarantee if someone isn't willing to stick around, they're not worth keeping. Learn from your experience and never compromise yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodguy05 Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 I love this thanks for the update and onwards and upwards it's great wen u can take back ur own power like u have here. Link to post Share on other sites
kortz Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Glad to hear you're doing well. Totally agree on point #2 and when you rediscover that inner happiness and control after going through a breakup its quite a liberating feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted June 26, 2017 Author Share Posted June 26, 2017 (edited) Thought I was well over my ex. Was doing good on no contact till i saw a picture of her a few days ago, and another one today. Since then ive blocked anyone who associates with her. She def is a narcissist. She's gone as far as getting a protective order on me just to harass me (constantly calling cops on stuff she cant control). She started dating someone new immediately after our breakup, and theyre still together to my knowledge. When I see her i shake really bad. She emotionally abused me and made me think I was the bad guy. I cannot get her out of my head. She's been badmouthing me bad to mutual friends, who have stopped talking to her, and she has stopped caring about them. Why does she still find ways to meddle into my life even tho she is "so done" with me. Edited June 26, 2017 by djdiddlez Also want to add that she had been talking to this guy for about 2 months before we broke up and hiding him from me Link to post Share on other sites
Funny bunny Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I want you to know that you are not alone. You have all of us here at loveshack on your side. We are on your side. She sounds really immature to treat anyone like that. We care for you! My breakup was 2 months ago and no communication for two weeks now and I am Certain I will never see him again in my lifetime. I feel so sad but honestly reading all the encouragement here makes me feel that we all go through these things sometimes. You have a community here. Going to church has also helped. Have someone pray for you! Link to post Share on other sites
jparmyguy Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I kind of am going through the same stuff. My ex said to me that we would never work and that there is someone better out there for me. However, she tried playing with my emotions not once but 3 times. First time she pulled the suicide card on me because I was talking to another girl, and then told me she wanted to try and make things work. Went out on a date with my ex she backtracked two days later and said the "spark" was not there and that she wanted someone new in her life. The second time, she just said nasty stuff to me after I told her I had sex with another girl. She threaten to send me pictures and tell me all about the guys she has lined up. I met up with her in person and she started to hit me, when I broke down explaining how I got hurt by her because she gave up on me and didn't try to make things work. Her mood changed to I love you and that she would have taken me back in a month had I not had sex with another girl. She was most likely doing that to make me feel bad. The third and hopefully last time, she was emailing me saying how she has not moved on at all and that she loves and misses me and does not know what will happen between us. She told me to stop hanging around the girl I was with. We talked a bit and I said if you want a relationship then I would be glad too but otherwise you have no control. She also asked me to fix her computer. I told her no to the computer and she said yeah I don't want a relationship and just want to focus on myself. Found out that she had threatened the girl I was talking too who was just like a friends with benefit. The girl ended up dropping me because of it. I called my ex on it and was stern and said that she could not control my life. She blew me off the next day because she was hanging out with a kid that she is starting to date. On Sunday, she apologized for doing that stuff and claimed that the reality of the break up is hitting her now and that she has "territorial" issues but she will be fine eventually and won't do something like it again. I asked her whether or not she was still fighting with herself on whether or not she wanted to be with me. She told me no. I told her that there was nothing left for me to hold on to and that I need to move on with my life and that there is nothing left. She then said that she was not sure if she made the right decision to end things. Basically, I think she is jealous and does not want to see me happy. Anyways, we continued talking she told me that it was hard on her and stuff. I told her I know but you were the one who wanted to end things. We talked about seeing where things go and maybe getting back together in a couple months. I told her that she needed to stop sending me all these mixed signals for the time being because it is confusing the crap out of me. She agreed to only contact me if she wanted to get back together. After this convo I blocked all the remaining lines of communication, I know that she doesn't want me back and that she is only doing this stuff because she is jealous even though she has another man to lean on. I wanted the last thing for her to here was that the door was open because that way she will stop doing all the crazy stuff to me. Had to log her out of my Facebook because she admitted to reading all my personal conversation with people. All this stuff got dragged out a 1.5 months after the breakup. At the end of the day I loved the girl and wanted to stay with her because I thought I could fix the issues, however, this constant back and forth is torture on me. She made it pretty clear that she wanted someone new and not me so even if she said she wanted to get back together it would probably fall apart in a couple months. I need to have her out of my life for good so I plan on ignoring any contact that might happen in the coming months. I just know that the last kid she broke up with she dated for roughly a month and it took her a couple years to get over it, which makes no sense to me but I do know that this girl really can't control her emotions. This probably will become an issue for me later on down the road because I feel as if she will try to destroy any future relationships for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 Back with another post :/ I know theres no absolute guarantees but my gf left me most definitely for a grass is greener situation. Guy is absolutely perfect except for the fact he cheats on girls. She's treated me absolutely terribly since she started dating him, saying she doesnt care for me and such. Everyone is cutting her out from their lives because most all of her friends are mutual (we were in school activities together) They all say that she's gonna come back because theyre gonna tell her she lost something good when she looks for comfort. If all goes as expected (75% chance all this happens) im conflicted about whether or not to take her back. I know i deserve better but i am absolutely in love with this girl. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Darien 76 Posted July 3, 2017 Share Posted July 3, 2017 I know you love her and your heart would want to take her back but my logical brain tells me you deserve better. She left you for someone else. So then once she is finished playing that out you will be there waiting with open arms? Isn't her behavior kind of a kick in the teeth to you? Ultimately you have to do what feels right for you though but you need to really give it some thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author djdiddlez Posted July 3, 2017 Author Share Posted July 3, 2017 It definitely wouldnt be easy to get me back, but i understand what your saying. So conflicted but she really hurt me Link to post Share on other sites
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