Everyone's ignoring me

[Redguitar35]

I finished a graduate degree last month, but instead of being happy I feel more miserable than ever. My life has come to a complete standstill. I feel like a car in the road that has run out of gas. My dating profile is getting zero matches and before that a bunch of flakes. I'm getting job interviews that aren't turning into job offers. Today it seemed like everyone I texted just ignored me. I've been putting real effort into turning my life into something happy, but it seems as if the world just wants me to walk into the desert and disappear. Right now, I'm laying down trying to decide if that would be the best thing for everyone.

[hippychick3]

We all have those moments in life where nothing seems to be going our way... bad luck, our friends finding new and better friends, everything that can go wrong does go wrong, and no one seems to like us. But we keep on trekking along until things turn around for the better. And they almost always do if we think positive and do things a little differently to bring about a better outcome.

 

Hang in there. This too shall pass. You're not alone.

[Dis]

Red, you're truly not alone

 

I feel the same way

 

I just finished the 5th tube feeding of the day for my cat who I hit with my car a few days ago

 

I did OLDing for almost 2 years...havent had any luck in the last 10 months....my most recent guy turned out to be insane....literally

 

After 4 years of schooling for nursing...I just lost my 4.0GPA

 

I'm telling you this because you're not the only one who feels lost and like things couldnt get any worse....after previously thinking they would get better

 

What helps me is looking back on the past. I'm sure you've gotten through much more difficult ordeals than this. I'm sure you not only survived tough times but went on to experience happiness

 

You will it feel once again...I promise

 

Happiness is all about perspective. My cat is alive and doesnt have any permanant injuries. I will find the right guy one day (fingers crossed). I'll graduate from nursing school in less than a year. I know you still have things to be happy about...even if it doesnt feel that way right now

 

Life ebs and flows...right now we're both in a lull

 

Soon the tides will turn...the only constant is change

 

If its late where you are...try to get some sleep...things always feel worse when we're tired

 

Keep posting and keep your chin up

 

PM me anytime

[mortensorchid]

Keep moving forward ...

[d0nnivain]

You have a kind of post-partum depression. You wanted something for so long & worked toward your degree, it's anticlimactic when you get it. Plus it's not turning into instant new career. Hang in there. The job market is cyclical. Maybe things will pick up by the end of the summer. As for the texting, it was probably just an off day. OLD is a single tool not a referendum on your life. Try other methods to meet people. It's summer. Put yourself out there. Focus mostly on getting your career off the ground. Once you have success in one area, the others tend to fall in place. Best wishes.

[scooby-philly]

I finished a graduate degree last month, but instead of being happy I feel more miserable than ever. My life has come to a complete standstill. I feel like a car in the road that has run out of gas. My dating profile is getting zero matches and before that a bunch of flakes. I'm getting job interviews that aren't turning into job offers. Today it seemed like everyone I texted just ignored me. I've been putting real effort into turning my life into something happy, but it seems as if the world just wants me to walk into the desert and disappear. Right now, I'm laying down trying to decide if that would be the best thing for everyone.

 

I finished a graduate degree last month, but instead of being happy I feel more miserable than ever.

 

Well, there's probably proof out there (I'm going by gut hunch) that there can be an emotional let down after events like a graduation (prom, etc) because they're supposed to signal "a changed state" - but to your other point on this thread - yeah - now you have to go out and get a job. As you move forward, work hard, but allow yourself time to relax everyday. Allow yourself time everyweek to have fun. You won't make the job search, the "love search", or your overall life any better by sweating it 24/7. Plus, you may have negative effects. I never hire nor would I date anyone that comes off desperate. Calm down, but keep pushing forward. Work hard, but try to stay balanced.

 

My dating profile is getting zero matches and before that a bunch of flakes.

 

I'm a firm believer that an online dating site or app (or multiple if you have the time/energy) is only another tool in the tool belt. Go out and do stuff you like with other human beings. Even if you strike out in person, you're only sharpening your skills and also learning what you do/don't like and what you will and won't tolerate. Of course there are a lot of flakes online - it's easy to hide behind words than actions. 3 step process - 1. Talk online no more than a week. 2. Talk offline no more than 1 week. 3 Schedule a date no more than a week after the end of the 1 week offline. Total elapsed time - 3 weeks. Then, move on.

 

If a woman keeps saying she wants to meet but doesn't say yes then give her the weekend ultimatum. (And never use the word "ultimatum"...... or even think it...it's just a term I use to describe the process). If you start chatting online on a Wed....then offline on the following wed.....you can extend rule #3 a few more days.....if.....you gave her 1-2 offerings to meetup and she says no, pick that next weekend - so she has a week to plan - and say she has 5 options - Dinner/Drinks/Coffee Fri/SAT/SUN or Brucnh/lunch/coffee Sat/Sun. If she can't decide or say yes, move on. If she says she's got a legit reason to no pick any - a wedding, a funeral, she's moving, it's her dad's/mom's 50th/65th b-day - either way, doesn't matter. Politely say "okay - so please tell me when you can or I will assume you are not serious".

 

People prove their thoughts/intents/wants through actions, not words.

 

 

I'm getting job interviews that aren't turning into job offers.

 

1. Yes, the process can be disheartening, but keep in mind it's just that - a process.

 

2. Use everyone as a way to sharpen your interview skills - not just how you answer questions but how you ask questions.

 

3. Focus on getting a (hiring) manager (i.e. your future boss) to describe the day to day culture, what type of person succeeds at the company, what the day to day, weekly, and monthly/quarterly responsibilities are, and how the role fits into the team and the team into the company.

 

4. Rock your resume and online profile. Join a professional development group/society for your major/industry you're interested in.

 

I've been putting real effort into turning my life into something happy, but it seems as if the world just wants me to walk into the desert and disappear.

 

The universe is neutral. And it's scientific. The human world is weighted and emotional. Don't think of it as a "zero-sum" game. That's what causes wars, environmental degradation, etc. - It's not a "others must lose in order for me to win" - it's about finding what you want/need now and then growing, learning, etc.

 

Hang in there OP!!!!

[smackie9]

Go out and get some fresh air.....take up running. It will clear those cobwebs, you will feel refreshed, and have a better attitude. If you are feeling down, people feel it and will be repelled. You need to keep your chin up and go forward even if you have to force yourself.