Am I correct..please help.

[Jim]

My girlfriend and I were talking on the phone one night, and we talk about our days in school and how her teachers still remember her by asking her brother how she's doing. I don't know what went into my mind, but my mind turned green and I told her that maybe she talked to lots of guys in school(what I meant there was she flirted with different boys in class for her teacher to notice) and then I told her that maybe she got caught several times in the dark(what i meant was she might have done it in school and got caught), that's why her teachers still remember her.

 

she got what i meant on those two statements and somehow got upset. although she didn't really showed it but i could feel that she's upset from the tone of her voice.

 

Now, isn't it she shouldn't be upset if what i've said was not true at all? that's how i looked at it. am i correct? please help. thanks.

[Miss Mojo]

hi jim,

 

i think you could be jumping to conclusions in a *big* way here. the reasons her teacher might remember her could possibly be:

 

a) she was a well-liked student;

 

b) her surname may be distinctive, so they know obviously know she has a brother at the school;

 

c) if she was on any school committees, or school captain or a prefect, debating club, performing arts etc, she would be remembered;

 

d) she may have been a bright pupil that they remember;

 

e) she may have been - and this is only a possiblity remember - a troublemaker.

 

f) she may not have stood out at all, they may just remember her.

 

try not to be so quick to jump the gun here....my kindergarten teacher recognised me 10 years after i left primary school - and i certainly wasn't a floosy in kindy (i didn't want to get 'boy germs'), and she doesn't have anything to do with my family. my history and legal studies teachers remember me because they liked me and i was a good student (who went to an all-girls catholic school - again, no flirting).

 

people are remembered for many reasons, and the fact that her brothers attend the same school with the same teachers is all the more reason for their memories to be triggered in this situation, especially if it's not that long since she left school. what would have upset her so much is you insinuating she flirted her little butt off....and it doesn't matter if she did, because that was then, not now. even if she wasn't a flirt, she had the right to feel upset, because you insinuated she is probably remembered for the wrong reasons.

 

don't worry about why they remember her. it doesn't matter now that you're in the present, and i can bet my bottom dollar it's not because of flirting. you could do your head in with such crazy thoughts when there's a million different reasons.

 

enjoy living in the moment!

[Tony T]

I think your logic is contorted and convaluted. The conclusions you draw as to why her teachers remember her tells a lot about you. It is mere speculation on your part based on perverted thinking. You need help.

 

Teachers remember people for lots of reasons. How you came up with this crap is baffling. I have teachers who remember me, some because of my unusual last name, some because I was a good student, some because I was a cut up in class, some because I have a unique birthmark in the back of my head, some because I was photographer for the school paper, etc. Yes, lots of them remember me and I "never got caught in the dark."

 

I hope your girlfriend thinks a lot about this and finds a boyfriend who is more rational. I think she will realize that if you don't change, she would have a life of hell with you. I pray that you get some help from a professional therapist to identify why you make such irrational and irrelevant conclusions and associations.

 

If this kind of thinking permeates your entire life, you're in lots of trouble unless you get help.

[David Gevert]

She's got every reason to be upset, even if she didn't fool around. You just showed that you don't completely trust her.

 

Trust is essential.