JennaDT Posted June 1, 2017 Share Posted June 1, 2017 Hi guys, I've been dating a guy long distance for a few months now. We initially met a few years ago when we were both living in the same country (I was living abroad at that time) and went on a few dates, but things fizzled because I thought he was a player (mainly due to the extremely lovey-dovey text messages he sent) and kept a bit of distance (which he interpreted as lack of interest - This I didn't find out until later). Throughout the years we did stay in touch and built a nice friendship. A few months ago he told me he really liked me and wanted us to try a long distance relationship. In the past he also mentioned that from time to time but always in a very joking way, so I never really took it seriously. At some point he even mentioned it frequently for a few weeks, but then he got a job offer in a different country and decided to pursue it (so he basically chose his career over me). But now he's planning to move to my country to be with me and to give our relationship a real shot. And yet because in the past he never followed through (it was all talk and no action), I can't seem to fully trust him, although at the moment he's not giving me any reason to believe I shouldn't trust him. In fact, he even seems too good to be true sometimes and then I start to wonder if there's some kind of ulterior motive. So either my gut is trying to tell me something or I'm just really starting to lose my mind, but I don't know what to do anymore. The fact that he wants to move here for me does seem like a rather big commitment on his end and maybe he's more mature now, so I really need to find a way to learn to trust him, I guess, without constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. But how :/? Link to post Share on other sites
Farmster Posted June 3, 2017 Share Posted June 3, 2017 Are you aware of what his exact plan is? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 4, 2017 Share Posted June 4, 2017 If you have a time table on this move, tough it out until then. If the move doesn't happen move on. Leave the door ajar should he ever move by you -- as in look me up when you get here, IF you're free & unattached you can try again but the LDR is out. See what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 No reason not to be listening for that other shoe to drop. But don't let that spoil your fun. Try to just be lighthearted and fun and not get stressed until there's something to stress about. But yes, you are about to learn more about who he really is. Easy to give people the benefit of the doubt long distance. In real life, you have to deal with whatever comes up. Link to post Share on other sites
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