Women over 30 who play hard to get?

[The Urbanyst]

I'm in my early 30's and my general experience has been that women stop playing games after age 30 or around that age. I recently met a woman in her early 30's whom I want to sleep with and she is playing hard to get like a teenager.

 

I have enough experience to know the difference between hard to get and not interested. In fact, I'm always looking for the first sign of low interest so I can bail and save my time and money. This woman is obviously really into me, but she is trying to play it cool.

 

Why do women bother with this game? Especially once they pass 30?

[d0nnivain]

What do you mean, "playing hard to get"? You says she's into you but is "trying to play it cool". Seriously what does that mean? Are you saying you're miffed because she hasn't fallen into bed with you on date 3? Are you saying she is being a bona fide tease? Are you two exclusive? Have you talked about your expectations & found out what hers are?

 

 

Based on the little you have written I can't give you insight because you haven't offered enough info.

[The Urbanyst]

What do you mean, "playing hard to get"? You says she's into you but is "trying to play it cool". Seriously what does that mean? Are you saying you're miffed because she hasn't fallen into bed with you on date 3? Are you saying she is being a bona fide tease? Are you two exclusive? Have you talked about your expectations & found out what hers are?

 

 

Based on the little you have written I can't give you insight because you haven't offered enough info.

 

She is very flirty and physical in person. We make out and touch a lot. But when we are not together she is very slow to respond to calls and texts. She always response eventually, but after like 8-20 hours. She also reschedules our plans a lot and pretends she is more busy than she is.

 

Plus, we have not had sex yet, even though I can tell she wants it.

[hercules22]

well maybe this girl is after something serious ? she could be testing you to see whether you only want to have sex with her is that what you are after?

 

sounds like she doesnt want to look easy and look more desirable how long have you been seeing her

Edited June 3, 2017 by hercules22

[Versacehottie]

I'm in my early 30's and my general experience has been that women stop playing games after age 30 or around that age. I recently met a woman in her early 30's whom I want to sleep with and she is playing hard to get like a teenager.

 

I have enough experience to know the difference between hard to get and not interested. In fact, I'm always looking for the first sign of low interest so I can bail and save my time and money. This woman is obviously really into me, but she is trying to play it cool.

 

Why do women bother with this game? Especially once they pass 30?

 

basically because it generally works....it's got you here intrigued about it, right?

 

I'll second what someone said that she is also gauging your actual interest. Maybe she just doesn't want to sleep with guys and might be looking for something more substantial. Until she sees proof that you can offer it she might be taking things with a grain of salt. You said your main goal (or at least it is seemingly your main goal since it is the only goal you mentioned) is to sleep with her. Past 30 she may have had enough experience to see that and enough self-worth to be willing to test you. Like you she knows enough to know a possible bad investment. Just a thought.

[The Urbanyst]

well maybe this girl is after something serious ? she could be testing you to see whether you only want to have sex with her is that what you are after?

 

Like with all girls, I just want to see how it goes. Some girls are relationship material and some are not. I won't make that decision until I have sex with her.

 

Playing hard to get won't make me more inclined to be in a relationship. I don't know where women got that idea from. It also won't make me less inclined to only want sex. It doesn't accomplish anything. Especially with an experienced man like me. So in the end it just wastes a lot of time we could be spending having fun and amazing sex. I thought women over 30 understood this more. That's why I'm asking why a women her age is playing this game. With younger girls its expected so I just roll with it.

[Maggie4]

What do you mean, pretending to be busier than she really is? How do you know she's not really busy? How do you know she's playing hard to get, and not really hard to get (because she has a full schedule)?

You're assuming a lot of things. It doesn't sound like your relationship has gone far enough for you to know this much. Even my own sister does not know if I am busy this week unless I tell her.

And are you saying women in their 30's should be more desperate, or more mature, to stop pretending?

[preraph]

She is very flirty and physical in person. We make out and touch a lot. But when we are not together she is very slow to respond to calls and texts. She always response eventually, but after like 8-20 hours. She also reschedules our plans a lot and pretends she is more busy than she is.

 

Plus, we have not had sex yet, even though I can tell she wants it.

 

Well, there's the thing. Women over 30 ARE busy. She has better things to do than plan her life around when you want to text and interrupt her day just because you're buzzing. She's trying to get things done.

 

And boy, you have a crap attitude thinking 30 year old women ought to be desperate enough to just be grateful for some man, any man. 30 year old women are busy, but their standards haven't gone down. If anything, they have gone up.

[NTV]

Well it could be you're one of 3 dudes she seeing. Never know.

[The Urbanyst]

What do you mean, pretending to be busier than she really is? How do you know she's not really busy? How do you know she's playing hard to get, and not really hard to get (because she has a full schedule)?

You're assuming a lot of things. It doesn't sound like your relationship has gone far enough for you to know this much. Even my own sister does not know if I am busy this week unless I tell her.

And are you saying women in their 30's should be more desperate, or more mature, to stop pretending?

 

How do I know? Because I have a lot of experience with women. I know all the games and I know how to spot them.

 

Expecting women over 30 to be more mature and less manipulative should not be taken as an insult. Its not desperate to admit you are attracted to men and want to have sex with them. Actually, having sex doesn't make you desperate either. It shows you are confident in your value.

 

Playing hard to get is an insecure thing young girls do. It doesn't make a difference though, because I know when a woman wants me.

[hercules22]

Like with all girls, I just want to see how it goes. Some girls are relationship material and some are not. I won't make that decision until I have sex with her.

 

Playing hard to get won't make me more inclined to be in a relationship. I don't know where women got that idea from. It also won't make me less inclined to only want sex. It doesn't accomplish anything. Especially with an experienced man like me. So in the end it just wastes a lot of time we could be spending having fun and amazing sex. I thought women over 30 understood this more. That's why I'm asking why a women her age is playing this game. With younger girls its expected so I just roll with it.

 

i find older women harder to please they generally dont let there guards down as easily compared to younger women

[The Urbanyst]

i find older women harder to please they generally dont let there guards down as easily compared to younger women

 

Good to know. I mostly date younger women, but the few older women I've dated were really easy to sleep with. Until this one.

[d0nnivain]

Therein lies your problem. You were expecting easy sex. Because she isn't falling into your bed, you concluded that the problem must be hers. In reality she simply isn't glued to her phone like a teenaged girl with too much time on her hands & she has standards. She probably wants a relationship. If that is not what you want, move along.

[Maggie4]

How do I know? Because I have a lot of experience with women. I know all the games and I know how to spot them.

 

Expecting women over 30 to be more mature and less manipulative should not be taken as an insult. Its not desperate to admit you are attracted to men and want to have sex with them. Actually, having sex doesn't make you desperate either. It shows you are confident in your value.

 

Playing hard to get is an insecure thing young girls do. It doesn't make a difference though, because I know when a woman wants me.

 

Ok...so your post is not really a question but a rant. That's fine. You're reading more into my post. I would just say it will all work out in the end for both. You will stop contacting her because of how you feel. She has her own path in life, wherever it leads her. Not your problem.

[The Urbanyst]

Ok...so your post is not really a question but a rant. That's fine. You're reading more into my post. I would just say it will all work out in the end for both. You will stop contacting her because of how you feel. She has her own path in life, wherever it leads her. Not your problem.

 

Pointing out facts counts as ranting now?

 

I'm asking why an older woman would play a young woman's game. That's really all. Not ranting.

 

I'm not turned off by insecurity in woman either. It kind of goes with the territory. In fact, when women are insecure it only makes me more confident.

[The Urbanyst]

Therein lies your problem. You were expecting easy sex. Because she isn't falling into your bed, you concluded that the problem must be hers. In reality she simply isn't glued to her phone like a teenaged girl with too much time on her hands & she has standards. She probably wants a relationship. If that is not what you want, move along.

 

If I want a relationship or not depends on if she is relationship material or not.

 

That's how it works with most people.

[d0nnivain]

Pointing out facts counts as ranting now?

 

I'm asking why an older woman would play a young woman's game. That's really all. Not ranting.

 

I'm not turned off by insecurity in woman either. It kind of goes with the territory. In fact, when women are insecure it only makes me more confident.

 

 

You think she's playing a game. We're suggesting to you that she's not game playing but is generally busy with life.

 

 

I suspect you may be incompatible. You want an insecure woman who will fall at your feet. She seems to want a confident man who is ready to commit. You're not that guy, right now.

 

 

What about her makes you not want a relationship with her? You don't have to answer me but you need to know the answer.

[The Urbanyst]

You think she's playing a game. We're suggesting to you that she's not game playing but is generally busy with life.

 

 

I suspect you may be incompatible. You want an insecure woman who will fall at your feet. She seems to want a confident man who is ready to commit. You're not that guy, right now.

 

 

What about her makes you not want a relationship with her? You don't have to answer me but you need to know the answer.

 

I didn't say I don't want a relationship with her. I have to make sure we are sexually compatible before I can decide. The longer it takes to have sex, the longer it will take me to decide.

[d0nnivain]

Ah . . . the classic male female dilemma: men need to have sex to feel loved; women need to feel loved to have sex.

 

 

If she requires monogamy before sex, what does that mean for you? If the answer is you can't do it because you can't / won' t commit until you know the sexual compatibility is there, make sure she understands your position. You both need more info from the other to figure out if compromise or sex is even possible.

[act00]

One thing about men, is they tend to drop off the planet once the sex happens. This woman is probably refraining until she knows (she'll never know) that the guy is invested long-term. Also, men who are only in it for the sex, tend to be the worst lovers. Why bother?

 

You are in a conundrum in that you want the sex to help you determine if she's a keeper, and she wants to determine if you're a keeper before the sex. She likely does want it, but she's not giving it up for a pump and dump. She's not playing hard to get. She doesn't want to fall into bed with someone who isn't invested in her fully. You don't like her for herself as a person and simply enjoy her company. Your choice? Stick around and prove your worth and enjoy her for the companion she is, long-term, or leave for someone who will fall into bed with you right away.

[William]

So, how's the discussion going?

[mercy]

Why would you have to ask questions when according to you, you know ALL about women and are TOTALLY experienced and understand every nuance of a woman's behavior and what she really wants? Clearly you should be instructing all the women present in how they feel instead

 

 

OP, how many dates until you think a woman should sleep with you?

 

Do you really get to know the woman first or do you want sex first?

 

Just a little confused.

[Whodatdog]

I didn't say I don't want a relationship with her. I have to make sure we are sexually compatible before I can decide. The longer it takes to have sex, the longer it will take me to decide.

 

Sounds like she's deciding whether she's interested enough in you. Doesnt look promising.

[jjgitties]

if she just jumped into bed with you on date #1 or #2, would you not assume she just does that with lots of other men as well and might [seem a bit promiscuous] . (I know I would).

Edited June 3, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Language

[spiderowl]

She is very flirty and physical in person. We make out and touch a lot. But when we are not together she is very slow to respond to calls and texts. She always response eventually, but after like 8-20 hours. She also reschedules our plans a lot and pretends she is more busy than she is.

 

Plus, we have not had sex yet, even though I can tell she wants it.

 

Sounds like she's not as interested as you. I can't see the point in playing games and keeping someone waiting for 8 hours for a text if you are interested in them, but on the other hand I would not flirt and play around with anyone I was not interested in.

Edited June 3, 2017 by spiderowl