Why do I get a sense that a lot of women feel I'm beneath them?

[Bastile]

I don't know a single culturally Western woman over 21 that's willing to date anyone still at home. ( Other ethnic groups found in the area in large numbers seem to more or less expect adults to live at home until marriage). Western women tend to view a man living at home as lacking development, maturity, and real world experience. What they're​ looking for is a fully functional mature mate with the necessary life skills and experience.

 

A couple of years back, I quit a job which was making me miserable. Extremely long hours, very unsociable. Lots of money, but I was very unhappy.

 

In the interim, I moved back in with my poor old beleaguered mum that loves me very much

 

I went out with one of the most beautiful women I've ever been around during that time...

 

Also went out with another girl that I seriously doubt most men would kick out of bed either.

 

As I say, you either have lived it or you haven't.

 

I honestly think that most of what men do is for women. I was having success early as a teenager, and I never got the impression that I would need to make money in order to get my needs met.

 

Thing is that I agree OP should strive to be a well rounded man. But doing it based on these sorts of thoughts is very very detrimental.

 

If anything, I think he should go out and pull some women with no money at all just to learn a thing or two about life.

 

Develop himself in all areas as part of natural growth, not in order to please women. The time will probably come when the challenge of gaining notches will start to get old and tiring anyway.

[Els]

I know some people that were living at home at 33 that got with attractive women so that disqualifies your argument to an extent. They did have good jobs though admittedly but still they weren't on their own. And I live in one of the most expensive places in the U.S. so I can't just go out & move on my own like nothing or go move to another state like nothing without knowing one person.

 

Do you know if your friends with good jobs were paying the family bills? I still wouldn't be with a man who lived with his parents at 33, but it's "less bad" if they have a good job and are contributing to household expenses and taking up their own share of the household chores. Again, it's about the personality/mentality involved.

 

And why do you think it's impossible to move to a new place without knowing anyone?

 

No, but it just seems like all anyone does is personally attack me when I post & it's extremely annoying. I just don't get good vibes from this place a lot of the time. I didn't want the thread like previous ones to turn into negativity like every other thread seems to. Almost every other thread on here is attacks on people it seems like.

Why would you expect a thread to not 'turn negative' when it started with negativity?

 

I get what you're saying about me turning down women I'm not attracted to. But physical attraction is something you can't help.

 

The desire for a man who at least is able to provide for himself is an innate part of the attraction pattern of most women, so I really don't see why you think that physical attraction is something you "can't help" but other forms of attraction are completely controllable.

[Imajerk17]

All of this talk of standards of income and what have you, bear in mind that there are faithful and dutiful women(some quite attractive as well) that are waiting patiently for their man to get out of jail, while they pay their bills, post bail, take care of the kids, etc...

 

Sure, I have given an extreme example, but there are several couples I know where the woman makes more(often times significantly more) than the guy and they get along just fine...

 

I've always been an earner and never needed anyone, but I have ZERO doubt that I could easily attract a 100K plus woman, even if I was stocking the shelves at Home Depot for shyt money...

 

Let's stop with the nonsense....I know women like big earners, but probably moreso because those guys usually possess more Alpha qualities....Just like women like/support broke bad guys for the same reasons...

 

I predict women will be making significantly more than men in the upcoming years- parrticularly in regular jobs...,,,Its happening..Women are just more competent than men in just about all fields except those that require physical prowess....So we better get used to it...

 

Bottom line for OP....Its not that...Sure, it hurts you if you bring little else to the table, but don't think for a minute that all guys with shytty paying jobs are sitting alone with their dicks in their hand.,,

 

 

 

TFY

 

I absolutely agree w this. I also know many dudes w problems who have a girlfriend other guys would love to get with.

 

But the difference between these dudes and OP is that these guys have swag and OP just doesn't. These dudes who are good with women just have that something....they certainly aren't coming on LS (or any online forum) whining and expecting a bunch of people they never met to show them the way.

[tetrahedral]

It seems that you don't have a fundamental understanding of sexual economics. What it comes down to is, they've got it, and you want it. You're a buyer in a seller's market... and these women, who you consider yourself on par with in terms of looks, are not impressed with the offer.

 

They can afford to be choosy, and in fact from an evolutionary perspective, it's their job to optimize the gene pool, eliminate sub-standard males from reproducing. They do this by a sort of reverse auction process... they start the bidding high and lower the price slowly, incrementally, and only as much as absolutely necessary.

 

Eggs are rare and valuable, and sperm has no value at all... any reasonably symmetrical woman could get laid ten times a day in the parking lot outside of the grocery store if she were giving it away. They aren't looking for parity in terms of looks as you presume, and they're not altruistic or sympathetic. They're looking for the absolute best offer in terms of genes and resources.

 

So, while you're thinking that your self-ascribed 7 rating qualifies you to mate with a 7 female... they're probably thinking you're more like a 5, and they're only looking for men in the 9.5 to 10 range regardless. Your options are a) keep wishing and hoping that some woman will recognize your inherent value, b) lower your standards until you find a willing seller, or c) increase your offer by acquiring wealth and status and displaying it ostentatiously.

 

This is a good post. OP, you are missing the point entirely.

 

Even if we are no longer living in caves, I think the big idea can be abstracted from the evolutionary specifics. Girls and women are attracted to people who they think are special.

 

No one has ever gotten a date by saying "hi, so I noticed that you're in the 58th percentile. I'm in the 58th percentile too!"

 

Not every girl or woman has the exact same definition of what a 9 or 10 is. But what they do have in common? If they don't think you're a 9 or 10 by their definition, they sure as hell aren't interested.

[Bastile]

I absolutely agree w this. I also know many dudes w problems who have a girlfriend other guys would love to get with.

 

But the difference between these dudes and OP is that these guys have swag and OP just doesn't. These dudes who are good with women just have that something....they certainly aren't coming on LS (or any online forum) whining and expecting a bunch of people they never met to show them the way.

 

I get where you're coming from.

 

But I've personally helped guys before that were in this sort of position. One that I correspond with often has a Ukranian girlfriend that he approached on the street which I'm actually a bit jealous of

 

I help, because I've taken from the online community plenty. Mate, I've learnt so much it's awesome. Just because you can get a girl doesn't mean there isn't a massive amount to learn about life and relationships.

 

The problem with OP is that he is going into mgtow moaning, and now he is looking to play the provider game.

 

So, OP, here is what you need to think about. What have you achieved in these last 12 months? And what do you want to achieve in the next 12 months?

 

If you aren't going to take personal responsibility, then you are not going to get anywhere.

 

And, I'm not being funny, but the only person you have strongly related to in this thread is ZADater, who I just read a thread where he said that he's a virgin at 33. Which is fair enough, but it doesn't make sense to pair up and complain about women, rather than listen to people who know what they are talking about.

 

It's rediculous. When I was trying to improve, I'd scour the brains of the best guys. Such a damn waste. Tells me that you are content just to moan and be back in another 12 months doing the same.

[thefooloftheyear]

Be successful and accomplished for yourself, because you want to be a better man and do/get the things you want out of this life...

 

Don't worry about women....They'll be there,...like it or not....

 

 

TFY

[MJJean]

A couple of years back, I quit a job which was making me miserable. Extremely long hours, very unsociable. Lots of money, but I was very unhappy.

 

In the interim, I moved back in with my poor old beleaguered mum that loves me very much

 

I went out with one of the most beautiful women I've ever been around during that time...

 

Also went out with another girl that I seriously doubt most men would kick out of bed either.

 

As I say, you either have lived it or you haven't.

 

I honestly think that most of what men do is for women. I was having success early as a teenager, and I never got the impression that I would need to make money in order to get my needs met.

 

Thing is that I agree OP should strive to be a well rounded man. But doing it based on these sorts of thoughts is very very detrimental.

 

If anything, I think he should go out and pull some women with no money at all just to learn a thing or two about life.

 

Develop himself in all areas as part of natural growth, not in order to please women. The time will probably come when the challenge of gaining notches will start to get old and tiring anyway.

 

If OP was going to change and grow for himself he'd have done it by now.

 

Certainly, some women will date a man who lives at home. It's the circumstances that matter. A divorced guy in his 30's who moved back home temporarily is generally more acceptable than one who has never lived independently. Living back home for a year or two due to a career change is likewise more generally acceptable.

 

Think of it like a job interview. OP is applying for the job of husband and father as the purpose of dating is to find a mate. As is, he's underqualified.

[Blanco]

Be successful and accomplished for yourself, because you want to be a better man and do/get the things you want out of this life...

 

Don't worry about women....They'll be there,...like it or not....

 

 

TFY

 

I said something to the same effect earlier, and if the OP takes nothing else from this thread, he should strongly consider this.

 

Regardless of what has happened in your life, short of severe injury, you should not find living at home rent-free working a menial job in your early thirties an acceptable long-term situation.

 

It doesn't have to change over night, but the fact that you've let a year pass without any action to move in that direction says a lot more about yourself than I think you realize or care to admit.

 

This isn't me saying you're a bad person or worthless. This is me saying that you seem to lack accountability and seem determined to make your situation the fault of others. Not all of this is out of your hands. Stop pretending it is.

[Bastile]

If OP was going to change and grow for himself he'd have done it by now.

 

Certainly, some women will date a man who lives at home. It's the circumstances that matter. A divorced guy in his 30's who moved back home temporarily is generally more acceptable than one who has never lived independently. Living back home for a year or two due to a career change is likewise more generally acceptable.

 

Think of it like a job interview. OP is applying for the job of husband and father as the purpose of dating is to find a mate. As is, he's underqualified.

 

He's under-qualified for the role of husband, father, provider, etc.

 

But, I don't remember him ever saying that he wants to be any of those things.

 

But, this thread is gone too far at this point. Guy isn't listening to a word.

[Blanco]

He's under-qualified for the role of husband, father, provider, etc.

 

But, I don't remember him ever saying that he wants to be any of those things.

 

Most women his age are done looking for just a good time when it comes to the dating game.

[Bastile]

Most women his age are done looking for just a good time when it comes to the dating game.

 

Are you an expert?

 

How many women 30+ have you dated in the last 12 months, and how many of them were non-exclusive?

[Els]

Are you an expert?

 

How many women 30+ have you dated in the last 12 months, and how many of them were non-exclusive?

 

I really don't think any women aged 30+ want to have sex in their lover's parents' house, though. Even if they're just looking for sex...

[William]

For purposes of discussion on LoveShack.org, no one is an expert or relationship professional and all posts are to be considered opinions, hopefully proffered respectfully, and equal in weight. Given the preceding postings which prompted this clarification of the mission of this forum, and substantial straying from the topic, thanks for the input and we'll call it a day.