How to live in the moment?

[SethDamien]

If you could imagine a quiet mind, contented feeling.

Able to fully concentrate on whatever you are doing at the

moment and living in only that moment. That is what it is like

to not be depressed.

 

I've had bouts of depression for several years now, but when i stumbled upon this quote, it felt like my sadness just disappeared and the sun shone brighter than before. It was like an epiphany for me.

 

I know "living in the moment" is an old advice, but nothing made me understand it more until reading this advice.

 

One thing still worries me though, I know there will be times when my depression and anxiety will creep back in, but how do we truly sustain this feeling that it will come naturally?

 

My gf just dumped me a week ago, and i also have a small consulting business. Everything i do now seems to be brewing my worries and anxiety. What do you guys do to really "live in the moment?"

[divegrl]

Hi!

 

Mindfulness meditation will help train your mind to bring acceptance and awareness to your thoughts and feelings. There are free videos on YouTube!

 

For me, if I find myself thinking about the past or future, I will come back to my breath. Focusing on the inhale/exhale. It will help you stay grounded in the present moment!

 

Good luck my friend!!!

[Nowty V]

One thing still worries me though, I know there will be times when my depression and anxiety will creep back in

 

This may occur through unbidden, automatic, negative thoughts. If we dwell on them they can grow, fester, become a chain of negativity promoting low feeling.

 

Seize the automatic thought and test it for validity.

 

1. Am I 100% sure of that?

 

2. What are the real facts?

 

I'm sure you could form some valid questions to test the legitimacy of your negative thoughts.

[meta.morphate]

I was on a kayak in the gulf of Mexico about a month ago ... early morning, beautiful day, beautiful water, no one was out there except me, the beach was still waking up, and I was just floating a little ways off shore ... and so of course the thought occurred to me, "WHAT IF THERE ARE SHARKS IN THIS WATER???!!"

 

 

And then, "of course there are sharks in this water."

 

 

I looked around for sharks.

 

 

And then, it occurred to me, as I was scanning as far as my eye could see, "I AM HERE, NOT THERE."

 

 

I can't control the sharks in the water. There ARE sharks in the water. But they weren't under my kayak. And that's all I had to concern myself with. I am not OVER THERE, where the sharks are, I am HERE, where the sharks are not.

 

 

And that's how I've been approaching my daily life since then. I don't make plans. I have general ideas of things I maybe could do today, but I don't think too far ahead. I sit in the morning and drink my coffee and prepare myself to get ready for work - but I don't think about work really. At work, I don't think about what I'm going to do after work.

 

 

When I notice that I start thinking too far ahead, particularly if I start stressing, "Am I going to see this person today? Is so-and-so going to text me? Is this appointment with my client going to take a long time and I'm going to be annoyed?" - then I remind myself, I AM HERE, NOT THERE.

 

 

That's it. It works for me. It might not even make any sense to you. But, for me, that's it.

[lovely81]

After reading tons of self-help, I found the work of Byron Katie. You may want to google her. It's similar to what an above poster said about questioning your thoughts, but there are more questions and some tools (worksheets).

 

The system has been very effective for me. It has led to the releasing of a lot of negative thoughts. Without the thoughts sucking up my attention, I live more in the present. I am 36, and on some days I feel like I have only just begun to understand the beauty of life after years spent chasing for more.

[Chilli]

l've been in and out of it myself too this last few yrs after divorce and then all the stresses that go with it in your children , the starting over, new houses, towns , making ends meet, you name it, take your pick it'll be among it all somewhere.

And l've finally just gotten another house of my own again, but , all mine this time, that means the bills and repayments too.

Many worries and decisions have had to be made this last few years , the biggies too.

 

But this last few mths l've been becoming fed up with it all , sick of the bs , no way to live,

So l've been trying to retrain myself lately , to just not worry about it , the future , and too many of the worries that come with modern life.

Live for the day l guess l could say, the moment, and with decisions try to go with what feels and looks good and then just drop it, leave it at that. Stress no more.

Some of your decisions will always be wrong in life no matter how you go about things.

 

Although it's been a pretty hard few mths in many big ways , love life , money matters, this has helped me so much so far.

But just this last wk or so l've found myself slipping back into worry mode though too ,l must admit.

 

The hardest part is keeping new and better habits going isn't it , and not slipping back.

[truthtripper]

At present my life is sh*t, so living in the moment doesn't help me at all. Dreaming about past happy events and how things could be better in the future is what protects me from falling into depression.

[Dis]

At present my life is sh*t, so living in the moment doesn't help me at all. Dreaming about past happy events and how things could be better in the future is what protects me from falling into depression.

 

Couldnt agree with this more

 

...Except I'm already depressed

[dichotomy]

I have a problem always living in the past (mistakes, regrets, loss) or worrying about the future (how to avoid mistakes, loss).

 

I will say that for me - the past if the bigger issue as it serves no purpose. Worrying about the future has often saved me grief or provide security - but even that removes me from the moment.

 

However I do enjoy brief movements of mediation - removing the chatter in my brain - which can be breath work (as mentioned above), focusing a a very specific pleasurable/mild moment from the past (me petting my childhood dog on a sunny summer day), or just really "smelling the roses" of a very small nice moment that is present to me.

[truthtripper]

Couldnt agree with this more

 

...Except I'm already depressed

The brain can't distinguish between what's imagined and what's real, so when dreaming about something good, your body responds the same as if you are actually experiencing it, releasing happy neurotransmitters eg. dopamine, serotonin. This can only be good for your health and it will help with depression. Keep on dreaming!

[meta.morphate]

If you're already in a place where you feel like your life is ****, the best thing to do is still focus on the next thought you have or choice you have to make, and pick the one that leads you in the direction of sunlight and not ****.

 

 

Example. You're laying on your couch and you're sweaty and in pajamas and your hair's dirty and there's food on the couch and its crumbling all over your ass while you're rolling around trying to get comfortable and your neck hurts from laying on the couch and you think you're never going to get off this damn couch and life is ****. Can you fix your whole life right now? No. But can you get up and walk to the bathroom and get in the shower? Yes, you can. You can wash your hair while you're in there. You can brush your teeth while you're in there. For those moments that you're in the shower, cleaning yourself up, your life is not ****. You are doing every single thing you can in that moment to make your life a little better and less ****ty.

 

 

Then, when the shower moment is over, you can say to yourself, what else is **** right now. Well, there's crumbs on your couch. So you can go get the broom and sweep the couch off. Now there's crumbs on the floor. So you can sweep those up too. And while you're at it, you can sweep up the dust from under the couch and you can sweep up the dirt from the doorway and the cobwebs from the corners, and since you're doing that, you can clear off the straw wrappers and empty containers and dirty dishes from the coffee table and take them to the kitchen. Since you're in there, you could wash the dishes. You could even put on some music ... and for those moments that you're sweeping and washing and clearing and cleaning and listening to music, your life is not ****. Your life may go back to **** when you're done ... but then, you can ask yourself, why is my life **** now? And see what you can do about it.

 

 

Maybe you don't have a job. Okay, ****. So you can't necessarily fix that right now and that's not even totally in your control. But, now that your house is clean and you're feeling a little more energized (because you will), you can sit down at your computer and make yourself a resume. You can Google templates. You can research tips for how to explain gaps in work history. You can make a list of references to keep for all the applications you're going to fill out in the future. You can put all your focus onto this, just like you focused on washing your hair and sweeping the floor.

 

 

When you're done, you still don't have a job, and life is ****. But you did something to make it a little less ****ty, and you can use that resume to spend time applying for jobs, and in those applying moments, life is not ****.

 

 

And so on. It's all just moment to moment. And so just try to improve the moment. So it's a little less ****.

[divegrl]

We must have non judgemental awareness of the present moment. Who are we to judge if our current situation is good or bad? Accept each moment just as it is; let go. Let go of all expectations of how you "think" things should be.

 

Go deeper. Focus on your breath. Feel the energy in your body. The connection with the Divine. You are on the verge of waking up. The secret is to realize you already have all you desire.

 

Good luck my friends!!!!

[aurelius99]

You can't live in the moment. All you can do is try to be content with your life, whatever your fortune is, and however long. There might be a few fleeting moments when you get lost in the moment, but for the most part we are stuck in a world which constantly reminds us of our transience--all the while hoping to extend our good times and our lives as long as possible. Really there's only a LIMITED amount you can do.

 

I don't know what the answer is. Maybe it really doesn't matter in the end. Maybe our lives aren't even made for us. I know that sounds weird but what other explanation is there.

 

Maybe the best summation can be found in the closing verses of Ecclesiastes in Bible:

 

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.”

(**Ecclesiastes‬ *12:13‬ *NIV‬‬)

[bluefeather]

Do not attempt to sustain that which comes naturally.

You cannot deny Nature.

Her wind will push you towards some of your goals and away from others.

Understand and accept these winds, because whether you want to believe it or not, they are all for your benefit. They are all for your growth, experience, and spiritual progress.

 

At least, that is something I have been told :S And 'tis MUCH easier said than done. Though I think the quote you stated was not only about the absence of depression. It sounds more like a description of mindfulness meditation, which I guess, could greatly assist with healing symptoms of depression. Interesting!

[Novz]

I've had bouts of depression for several years now, but when i stumbled upon this quote, it felt like my sadness just disappeared and the sun shone brighter than before. It was like an epiphany for me.

 

I know "living in the moment" is an old advice, but nothing made me understand it more until reading this advice.

 

One thing still worries me though, I know there will be times when my depression and anxiety will creep back in, but how do we truly sustain this feeling that it will come naturally?

 

My gf just dumped me a week ago, and i also have a small consulting business. Everything i do now seems to be brewing my worries and anxiety. What do you guys do to really "live in the moment?"

 

I am sorry about what your gf did but you have a good grasp of life already.

 

How to sustain it? This is what I have been doing-- When I am sad and lonely, I let go of the emotions. I express as much as I can. I make sure to feel sadness. Understanding myself in my loneliest time makes life easier to accept.

 

Do not be worried to feel the worst, it will not for long, as long as you won't allow it to.

 

Goodluck!

[Chilli]

At present my life is sh*t, so living in the moment doesn't help me at all. Dreaming about past happy events and how things could be better in the future is what protects me from falling into depression.

 

Don't worry TT , mines pretty damn sh@t to but at least l'm not stressing as much now.

Anyway good luck and l hope things come together for you.

[FenixRising]

I've found that when you are in the thick of it/ stressed thoughts go around and around like they are on a conveyor belt.. some worrying about future/ what's coming next, others are 'what if's, or 'I should have's and any regrets you have from the past and lastly some smaller ones are about where you now eg. "What a funny looking picture on the wall".

 

The best lesson I've learnt is not trying to stop the conveyor belt of thoughts and just observing brings me to the present moment. Don't stop it and don't try to reverse it or control it. Just observe the thoughts. That is practising mindfulness.

 

My Strategies:

Try to separate thoughts from actions (Actions can be in your control and out of your control)

 

For example, you are at work and are thinking about a past event:

• 
   
  
• (past action) you've had a cheeseburger...
  
• (present action)But where you are now is at work.
  
• (present thought) "That cheeseburger I ate at lunch will undo my hard work of trying to lose weight"
  
• (past action now out of your control) Accept that this has happened at lunch ..
  
• (future action) Afterwork..
  
• (new present thought after past can not be controlled)"I can walk a little more today/ swap a food for a healthier choice at dinner time."
  

 

Another eg. this time thinking about a future event.

• (present thought) "In an hour is that important meeting at work, I don't know if I'll get that promotion or my co-worker will"-
  
• (uncontrollable future) The meeting isn't here yet you don't know what will happen yet until that meeting.
  
• For now, you can focus on something else in the meantime that can be positive. Right now is what you can control. (present action) Eg. put away 5 pens lying around on your desk, now put papers in correct order.
  
• (new present thought) How good does my desk look? I can get my notes together a lot more efficiently.
  

[i hope those make sense, it was a bit difficult for me to describe]

 

Using the senses is good too

If you have experienced anxiety and you need to feel grounded immediately because your thoughts about past or future are running wild. I do this activity:

• name 5 things you can touch or hold eg. touch the coffee cup. run your hand over the texture of your sleeve or hand. Is it cold? Is it smooth?
  
• smells you can smell
  
• sounds you hear
  
• what can you see in the room that is the colour blue? count them to yourself
  

 

The idea is if you do that activity you take your mind off anything that not in the present moment and you have become aware of yourself in your immediate surroundings. Not where you were, not where you will be, but where you are right now.

 

If you are lying awake at night and your conveyor belt is in overdrive: reminding you of embarrassing moments as a kid, or planning your dream house, I recommend keep lying down and listening to a guided meditation (there are apps, but youtube has plenty).

• Find a meditation with a voice that doesn't urk you, or a voice that makes you feel relaxed.
  
• turn the lights off, brightness down
  
• just listen with soft volume with headphones, enough to block outside sounds... but not too loud you can't get fall asleep
  
• turn phone silent
  
• lie down
  
• follow the guide the way you want, don't worry if you can't picture what they're saying exactly... just be gentle on yourself and the meditation.
  eg "you are walking in a peaceful forest"- OH GOD, IS IT GREEN? ARE THE LEAVES RED! IS IT COLD? OH NO, the narrator is onto something new now!" haha
  
• Remember it might take more than once to get used to doing meditations. But worth it
  

[truthtripper]

Don't worry TT , mines pretty damn sh@t to but at least l'm not stressing as much now.

Anyway good luck and l hope things come together for you.

Thanks Chilli, all the best with your stuff too.