Bastile Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I have no fear of being alone. None. I'm totally at peace and comfortable when I'm alone. There is a great quote that I like: “If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery...isolation.... Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.” Charles Bukowski 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 No. Ten characters. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND consoling two women I know who both just went through a breakup. They mostly just could not believe that they had no man to be with this weekend. They have never been alone and they were at a loss for what to do with thenselves without a man. I wondered if men experience this too. What you are describing here isn't the same as the genuine fear of being alone. That is a more long-term thing, rooted in anxiety about the future (how they would feel if they fell sick and nobody cared enough to see them in the hospital, etc). And it is very normal, human, and healthy to feel that way IMO. Also worth noting that romantic relationships aren't necessarily the only thing that could alleviate it - the fear is of being truly ALONE, not just without a romantic partner, but without anyone in the world who cares about what happens to you. What you are describing in those women (being unable to spend a weekend without anyone to ****) is plain immaturity and frankly a few cups missing in the cupboards. I'm sure there are men like that as well, but I'd hope that these men and women are the rarity and not the norm. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Yes they do. If they don't, they should. Scientific studies show single men don't live as long. That's true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I know some women do but is this something some men suffer from as well? Not looking for conjecture here, looking for actual cases. You hit the nail on the head Popsicle. If you read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs", you will find out that the PRIMARY need for men is sex in any relationship. This fear of having to go find it and being alone is often the catalyst that causes men to be so paralyzed that they tolerate continued infidelity and just cannot pull the plug. Thread after thread on here of men living in infidelity because they cannot bear the thought of losing her. You do not see too many threads where wife is primary breadwinner who tolerates continued cheating. That is because women do not have this built in co dependence. For whatever reason, they handle this crap much better and unless it is financial they are not paralyzed watching their partner cheat and cheat and cheat while playing the pick me game. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I spent the WHOLE WEEKEND consoling two women I know who both just went through a breakup. They mostly just could not believe that they had no man to be with this weekend. They have never been alone and they were at a loss for what to do with thenselves without a man. I wondered if men experience this too. Yes, to some extent. Not sure that it's the exactly the same as a woman who has never been alone and is socialized to believe that she, in effect, doesn't exist without a man. It's probably the loss of identity that makes it so intense for some. I had a bad breakup about four months ago. At the time I thought it was an ideal relationship. Now I hope to find an even better relationship. I don't want to be alone, and perhaps there is some fear of always being alone, but it's not a desperate feeling... more like a conscious realization that I love being loved and loving another, and that this is a fundamental need. But I still have a fair amount of confidence that it's not only possible, but that it will happen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 me , sort of. and just speaking for single guys l've met or know ,about the same , 50 50. many don't even want a women, say they're crazy and just pains in the ass and can't be bothered with the hassles. a few have been hopeful to meet someone and some still really really hoping to meet and marry someone , even in their 50s like two guys l know of. me , must admit , together with ex 19yrs, although it can be so much hassle and so restricting being with a women full time , that l don't miss , but l really do miss the companionship and having someone and some of the fun of it. Hate to admit it but yeah ,l think l am a little bit worried deep down though , l might not find that someone again because over all , l would prefer a coupled life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 I went straight from school to the Navy to marriage and a bunch of kids. I'd like to think that being alone might be okay, if only for a change, but I admit I really have no idea what it would be like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 6, 2017 Author Share Posted June 6, 2017 I am struggling to understand this topic but you guys are helping a lot! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) I know some women do but is this something some men suffer from as well? Not looking for conjecture here, looking for actual cases. Definitely. Personally, I thrived when I was "alone." I am actually more of a loner type. With that said, there were never long stretches of time in my life where I did not have a GF. I will say that I don't need "guy time" with my guy friends or w/e. I would rather hang out with my GF. Edited June 6, 2017 by S_A Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 My brother hates being alone. He was never single for more than 2 months since he was 16 (he is 35 now). He never went on a date and said there was no connection. He seemed to just want a girlfriend and a steady relationship, with almost no regard on who the girlfriend is (usually first girl that comes along and shows a little interest). I am the exact opposite. I enjoy soltitude and because I work with people all day, I look forward to spending evenings by myself. I could easily live on a deserted island. Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) Yes they do. If they don't, they should. Scientific studies show single men don't live as long. The study is based on probably if you as a person cannot accept being single as stress eats away at the body. Being single does not mean you dont have people in your life.. Live a happy life travelling and enjoying the world and doing what you want and when you want till 50 years of age or be 60 years old spending most your life slaving away. So many married men wish they were single like me... cant go anywhere because the wife will not let them or they have 3 kids... No thanks:lmao: I leave those for the heavy hitters. Edited June 6, 2017 by Sweetfish Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 (edited) yeah , that istrue. even my ex was the easiest going chic and wifey you'd ever meet, l'd look at what other guys put up with and ways they had to live and honestly, just effg shoot me, but even as cool as she was and our life was the way welived compared to the norm, it was still amazingly restricting. l was always just some how, having to go somewhere or do things l just didn't wanna do or couldn't care less about. feeling guilty for this or that or not going to this or money or time with her or you name it. yet really,she was a gorgeous free living wifey, could only imagine how most married guys live though and see it. so on that front , being single, that sh@ts all gone, just gone.do what l want, but l do miss a lot the good things and your best friend and someone to really talk to and be with, seems those other things are the price, dunno how that works. asked myself a million times when l was married , is it worth it ? and since, even when gf was talking about moving in, holy hell , life was gonna change , bigggggg time. that was for sure---- and so again the price ! so like l always think , it's a real 50 50 thing. everything in life has a price. but marriage on a guy has a massive price. Edited June 6, 2017 by Chilli Link to post Share on other sites
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