Imajerk17 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Well, I notice you titled your thread "Any Hope For Change". Hope. I get that you probably just dashed the title out. But your choice of the word "hope" is telling. You need to understand that you don't just *hope* to change your ways, instead you DECIDE to change your ways. You do come across on here as very intense and tightly wound. You tend to ask similar questions on here over and over again, maybe just as you may have badgered your last date. I think you really would do better to take a more relaxed approach to dating--if THIS girl doesn't work out then there are plenty of other women out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fresnite Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 Well, I notice you titled your thread "Any Hope For Change". Hope. I get that you probably just dashed the title out. But your choice of the word "hope" is telling. You need to understand that you don't just *hope* to change your ways, instead you DECIDE to change your ways. You do come across on here as very intense and tightly wound. You tend to ask similar questions on here over and over again, maybe just as you may have badgered your last date. I think you really would do better to take a more relaxed approach to dating--if THIS girl doesn't work out then there are plenty of other women out there. I'm glad people are wise here. Are any of yall professionals? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Thanks for the kind words. No I am not a "professional" per se, just someone who made plenty of mistakes and learned from them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fresnite Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 Children sometimes pester their parents over and over again, despite being told not to. They seem to do it to get attention or because they are tired and not really in control of themselves. Once the parent get irritated and cross and tells them off, the child bursts into tears. At that point, the child is upset (obviously) but their tension is released. Could you be doing this because you are feeling tense and out of control? It would be pretty self-destructive but you need to get at the reasons why you are feeling as you are, then you can find other ways to relieve those uncomfortable feelings. Yeah i need this Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Yeah i need this When you are getting ready for your dates is your mind chattering, like, what am I going to say what will she say how should I act what will she think etc. Do you build your expectations of what should and shouldn't happen. Anxiety, insecure? Have you ever heard of mindful meditation? I believe it would help you. Being in this moment, here, right now. No concerns of past or future. On YouTube google, 5 minute mindful meditations. Google mindfulness. Maybe try one of the meditations before your next date. I love this man, Jon Kabat Zinn Just a sample - 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fresnite Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 When you are getting ready for your dates is your mind chattering, like, what am I going to say what will she say how should I act what will she think etc. Do you build your expectations of what should and shouldn't happen. Anxiety, insecure? Have you ever heard of mindful meditation? I believe it would help you. Being in this moment, here, right now. No concerns of past or future. On YouTube google, 5 minute mindful meditations. Google mindfulness. Maybe try one of the meditations before your next date. I love this man, Jon Kabat Zinn Just a sample - I liked your post because you replied and you gave a great statement, but to answer you, no actually. I do not have the pre date anxiety, i actually tend to do very well the initial meeting or date, it's exactly after that i flub up at. Like the next day or texting or the following date. Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I liked your post because you replied and you gave a great statement, but to answer you, no actually. I do not have the pre date anxiety, i actually tend to do very well the initial meeting or date, it's exactly after that i flub up at. Like the next day or texting or the following date. Then use the mindful meditation when you need it. Next day you are coming off maybe to needy. Girls don't like that. It smells of desperation. And you're not desperate, right? I commented on your other thread. I can't keep up! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fresnite Posted June 7, 2017 Author Share Posted June 7, 2017 Then use the mindful meditation when you need it. Next day you are coming off maybe to needy. Girls don't like that. It smells of desperation. And you're not desperate, right? I commented on your other thread. I can't keep up! Lol sorry. I am desperate though, desperate for love because it's so hard. There are all these games and manipulation and hoops to jump through. If I wanted one night stands no problem. I DO NOT WANT ONE NIGHT STANDS OR FWB OR CASUAL SEX. I want something meaningful and long term. Link to post Share on other sites
5x5 Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 Being desperate and needy is not particularly attractive. Take it easy and enjoy that which comes and farewell that which leaves. Link to post Share on other sites
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