sparrow80 Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 My (soon to be) ex-husband asked for a divorce because he was convinced I was cheating. I did kiss someone 7 years ago, but our marriage was trouble long before that. He has anger issues, depression and anxiety that he wouldn't really deal with, and in the last 8 years major addiction problems. My entire family and all of my friends said they cheered when he asked for a divorce 3 weeks ago. But he is blaming all of this on me. He has always treated me like crap and was/is incredibly manipulative and the most selfish person I have ever known. He moved out on Mother's Day (we have 2 boys) and already has a girlfriend. We haven't even signed papers. I am so incredibly happy that he had the guts to ask for the divorce, because I have been wanting one for years, but I was always worried about his mental state and afraid of what would happen to me and the boys. But now I can't stop thinking about how angry I am that he was like that for so long and I never stepped back to see what he was doing to me and our boys. He is moving on and acting like he never did a thing wrong. He honestly doesn't believe he has ever done anything wrong and that this is all my fault! To top it off, me and my boys are now living with my mom while he has an apartment and I am in my first semester of nursing school which is taking every free moment. But I am having a hard time concentrating because I can't stop thinking about how angry I am at him and myself. How do I do this? How do I let my anger go? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 5, 2017 Share Posted June 5, 2017 Time sweetheart, it will just take time. One day you'll wake up and say, wow, what was I thinking wasting so much of my life on that POS. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 Gratitude. Be grateful for your kids. Be grateful that you will not spend one more day with this man. Be grateful, that he is another woman's problem now. Be grateful that he has taught you a very important lesson - value yourself and never let yourself be mistreated by a man again. I'm sure there is more. When you feel yourself becoming angry, try to turn that around to something positive... I would suggest gratitude. There is always another side to every coin... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 He asked for a divorce? Well, the obvious thing for you to do if he hasn't filed yet, would be to see a lawyer and file for one yourself. If he hasn't filed any paperwork then you should get in there first. That way you not only put yourself in the driving seat for the timescale of the divorce, but you also have the satisfaction of saying that you divorced him, and you get to name the grounds for the divorce. If he's already filed then you should see a lawyer but it's easier to just go along with it. Contesting a divorce -- even if it's based on lies -- is almost always a waste of time and money. Better to choose your battles (the ones concerning kids and money). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mikeylo Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 As everyone said--- time. Its still very new for you to think positive. Even if he files for divorce, it really doesnt matter. He makes your job easier. If after a certain time period he doesnt file, then you do. Otherwise after going around with a couple of women , he might decide that being married to you is the right thing to do. Would you want that? Link to post Share on other sites
reboot Posted June 6, 2017 Share Posted June 6, 2017 He asked for a divorce? Well, the obvious thing for you to do if he hasn't filed yet, would be to see a lawyer and file for one yourself. If he hasn't filed any paperwork then you should get in there first. That way you not only put yourself in the driving seat for the timescale of the divorce, but you also have the satisfaction of saying that you divorced him, and you get to name the grounds for the divorce. If he's already filed then you should see a lawyer but it's easier to just go along with it. Contesting a divorce -- even if it's based on lies -- is almost always a waste of time and money. Better to choose your battles (the ones concerning kids and money). Please read this again, this is incredibly good advice for you. Link to post Share on other sites
amstcole Posted June 7, 2017 Share Posted June 7, 2017 I'm sorry that you're experiencing this...i was in a similar marriage many years ago; however, though i agree with the other comments, have you two tried marriage counseling at all? Anyway, i also suggest you join a support group for you and your kids...will be praying for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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