Making a Relationship "LONG TERM"

[DancerEngineer]

This is pretty good Dancer. I'd like to see you add some more of your personality and it would be good to show your excitement for whatever you would be doing & spending time with her by saying what activity you have in mind. You can do that when she texts back.

 

Well I texted that to her over an hour ago, and she still hasn't responded. What the heck.... -_-

[clia]

Corey Wayne always says to NEVER bring up being exclusive until the girl does. its the girls job to chase down the man and lock him down. So my main goal now is to get her to want to lock me down. I am just keeping cool and letting her text me and keep making dates and hooking up with her till she brings it up. Are you telling me I shouldn't do this?

 

I'm not familiar with Corey Wayne at all, but what you describe above is a very feminine, passive role. (In other words, I totally agree with June and Versace.) It also seems like a strange place to be in after four months of dating. If you want her to be your girlfriend, I don't understand why you haven't just brought it up. How much longer do you plan to play coy and let her chase you? I personally would've moved on by now. (I'm a girl.)

[Versacehottie]

Well I texted that to her over an hour ago, and she still hasn't responded. What the heck.... -_-

 

She has no incentive to text you back right away like some guy she is excited to hear from because she knows you will JUMP whenEVER she does text you back. And agree to pretty much whatever she proposes. Passive role, not good, perilous for you, the potential of the relationship.. You need to hold your own.

 

As for telling her you were too busy when she asked you for lunch, that's what a more dominant, more masculine, less passive person would do. I just think you need to add your personality, show your excitement for your own life when you do so....and then take the ACTIVE role of offering her an alternative. You didn't really do that. In other words, the HOW is as important as the content of what you do. You are sending a message each time you interact with her so you want it to be a message that helps your cause and keeps you in the most positive light at all times.

 

And when you told her you were busy on the weekend, it was to do effectively "housework". Roll eyes emoji!! Or get through your to-do list when you described your day. You are taking the feminine and boring role with that stuff and it will not help your cause.

 

I know you think it's castrostrophic that she hasn't texted back. I don't think it is. Whatever "relationship" you think you have is unbalanced and gives you a false sense of being together when in actuality she is calling all the shots and is just as likely to get bored, disappear, move on. Better to KNOW now that she is treating you like this and FIX it if it is possible. So you learn stuff from every interaction you have with someone. She is not showing you much respect or investment if she hasn't texted back in a reasonable amount of time, i.e. you are not that important to her & she is not that invested. So what do you do? You pull back a bit, confidently. You pretty much offered an opened-ended invitation for the entire week by just asking her availability in general. I said it was pretty good, not great! That's just ok not great. So if she doesn't answer in a timely manner are you still opened ended for the entire week? Absolutely not! Then she only gets a choice of a couple of days that would suit you as well. If she can't make it those days, let her know well let's try for next week. I'm serious. You have to get this under control.

Edited June 12, 2017 by Versacehottie

[JuneL]

As passive as me? I first told her originally i wanted a relationship, and then i scared her away, and she made up excuses for not wanting it and stuff even thought she confessed to having feelings. Then when i backed off, she came running back and we started dating and hooking up.

How am I being so passive? Not sure of your point. Can you elaborate a little?

I feel like this might be a crucial time.

 

I don't think I can give better advice than Versace, but since you asked me to elaborate, let me just make a few comments:

 

- I think what Versace referred to your using that dating guru's techniques without authenticity can boil down to the following: It's quite clear that your life revolves around over-analyzing her every single word/action and wanting desperately to be her boyfriend, and people can easily pick up on that vibe.

 

- While it's great that you are helping her setting up the website (many women, no matter how brilliant and independent they are, want their guys to protect them), you don't help her clean the Gecko's cage at this dating stage, before you are officially her boyfriend.

 

- I couldn't agree more with Versace that you have been sitting passively and waiting for her to call all the shots. When you couldn't meet for lunch, you could at least make a specific counteroffer. Also, what stops you from teasing her and flirting with her during your convo? Many women are attracted to guys who are decisive and take the lead (and masculine). When you ask her out, don't give her an open-ended invitation for the entire week, just confidently invite her to something specific on a specific day/time; if she's interested, she's going to offer an alternative in case she's busy on that day at that time!

 

- Actually I have a different take on the matter of bringing up your relationship status. If I were you, I would invite her on a proper date, then tell her at the end that I'm not interested in being one of the Gecko's uncles, and that I'll be too busy to go out again unless you're the Gecko's one and only one daddy ;-)

[DancerEngineer]

I'm not familiar with Corey Wayne at all, but what you describe above is a very feminine, passive role. (In other words, I totally agree with June and Versace.) It also seems like a strange place to be in after four months of dating. If you want her to be your girlfriend, I don't understand why you haven't just brought it up. How much longer do you plan to play coy and let her chase you? I personally would've moved on by now. (I'm a girl.)

 

We started "dating" 3 weeks ago.

[DancerEngineer]

 

 

 

I know you think it's castrostrophic that she hasn't texted back. I don't think it is. Whatever "relationship" you think you have is unbalanced and gives you a false sense of being together when in actuality she is calling all the shots and is just as likely to get bored, disappear, move on. Better to KNOW now that she is treating you like this and FIX it if it is possible. So you learn stuff from every interaction you have with someone. She is not showing you much respect or investment if she hasn't texted back in a reasonable amount of time, i.e. you are not that important to her & she is not that invested. So what do you do? You pull back a bit, confidently. You pretty much offered an opened-ended invitation for the entire week by just asking her availability in general. I said it was pretty good, not great! That's just ok not great. So if she doesn't answer in a timely manner are you still opened ended for the entire week? Absolutely not! Then she only gets a choice of a couple of days that would suit you as well. If she can't make it those days, let her know well let's try for next week. I'm serious. You have to get this under control.

 

 

So basically last week she was blowing up my phone wanting to see me all the time and i was telling her i was busy. I hung with her Friday-Saturday.

 

Then after I sent her that text asking her for her availability, she texted me a couple hours later and just simply said, sorry for taking so long to respond. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

So I just said, "cool. let me know when you find out and wanna come to my swing dance class on Thursday. today was a long day. i'm off to bed nite" Which she has said she wanted to come to in the past.

 

Then she just randomly text me today at lunch time and randomly says, "i think i need to go to bed earlier so i can get up earlier."

Totally avoided the question.

 

So all I can think of now is to just ignore her. And not contact her again till she contacts me again, right? Like wtf. She want from being allll obsessive over me last week to a lower interest. it seems like because i didn't drop what I was doing at the moment and give her my time, she has a lower interest. WTF. Or her parents are pressuring her to date me after the weekend and it is making he uncomfortable. idk. I JUST DON'T KNOW!

But all i can think of is to simply cease contact. When i have pulled back in the past, she has always came storming and running back. So maybe i wont respond to her text again, and see how long it takes her to text back again, and see what she says.

....i'm pissed.

[DancerEngineer]

 

 

 

- While it's great that you are helping her setting up the website (many women, no matter how brilliant and independent they are, want their guys to protect them), you don't help her clean the Gecko's cage at this dating stage, before you are officially her boyfriend.

 

- I couldn't agree more with Versace that you have been sitting passively and waiting for her to call all the shots. When you couldn't meet for lunch, you could at least make a specific counteroffer. Also, what stops you from teasing her and flirting with her during your convo? Many women are attracted to guys who are decisive and take the lead (and masculine). When you ask her out, don't give her an open-ended invitation for the entire week, just confidently invite her to something specific on a specific day/time; if she's interested, she's going to offer an alternative in case she's busy on that day at that time!

 

- Actually I have a different take on the matter of bringing up your relationship status. If I were you, I would invite her on a proper date, then tell her at the end that I'm not interested in being one of the Gecko's uncles, and that I'll be too busy to go out again unless you're the Gecko's one and only one daddy ;-)

 

LOL I don't know what I am. It feels like we already are boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't get it. But we just never had the talk! I told her I was busy and was looking forward to seeing her Friday which I did see her Friday.

 

I also texted her last night with a "cool, well let me know when you find out your schedule and want to come to my swing dance class Thursday. I'm exhausted after this long day. nite."

Only for her to text me at lunch time today.

"i need to work on going to bed earlier, so i can wake up earlier. "

 

totally avoided the question. i don't get it. she said a few times how she wants me to bring her to more of my dance classes.

 

From the month of February till 3 weeks ago, we were just friends and I was training her to be my dance partner in a dance show. it was a Salsa, Rumba, Samba dance piece. Then only 3 weeks ago at the end of the dance show we started hooking up and blah blah blah.

 

So just ignore her text and wait for her to text me back with something better. And just go to my class on Thursday without her? LOL I offered! But she avoided it. Maybe there is a reason deep down she didn't respond. She is low on money and maybe thinks she will have to pay for the class or something. Or just isn't sure or something. But i have normally payed for her on stuff like this. ****. I even bought her dance shoes for the dance show before we started hooking up as a birthday present. I have a good job, and she only works once a week. So it's not an issue for me. I make a lot of money. But with that being said, I'm pretty sure she isn't just after my money. She started liking me before she started learning how much I make.

.....wtf. UGH!

So seems like the best aadvice i have now is to just back off?

[jessiesgurl]

Here’s the problem DE, the way I see it.

 

In a nutshell, you’re incompatible.

She sounds like a strong girl, a bit of a smartarse tbh.

 

You can’t relate to that, you take her remarks literally, pout and get feelings hurt.

 

It sounds to me like she senses your passiveness and is attempting to light a fire under your butt to get something going!! But again you take her literally, become insecure and pout.

 

Granted most posters here are telling you to tease her back, take her down a notch (in a playful, teasing way) but you can’t do that because it’s not who you are, it’s not your nature, or your personality.

 

Which is OKAY, it is not who you are and you need to be true to YOURSEELF.

 

Own who you are. No need to twist yourself like a pretzel in an attempt to get some chick you’ve been dating a mere three weeks to like you. Don’t change for anyone! Be you.

 

You want her to chase because that is what Corey Wayne says to do. Arghh!

 

What is he the freakin be-all-and-end-all of how to treat and relate to women?

 

NO!! Definitely not. EVERY WOMEN IS UNIQUE and will respond to different things. Please learn this and stop listening to 'dating" gurus like CW. They don’t “work” on everyone woman. They just don't.

 

What makes this worse is that you take his stuff as gospel and don’t even apply it correctly.

 

Face it you are just not compatible DE, sorry. Walk away before she does, which she WILL eventually, I could almost guaranty it.

Edited June 12, 2017 by jessiesgurl

[DancerEngineer]

Here’s the problem DE, the way I see it.

 

In a nutshell, you’re incompatible.

She sounds like a strong girl, a bit of a smartarse tbh.

 

You can’t relate to that, you take her remarks literally, pout and get feelings hurt.

 

It sounds to me like she senses your passiveness and is attempting to light a fire under your butt to get something going!! But again you take her literally, become insecure and pout.

 

Granted most posters here are telling you to tease her back, take her down a notch (in a playful, teasing way) but you can’t do that because it’s not who you are, it’s not your nature, or your personality.

 

Which is OKAY, it is not who you are and you need to be true to YOURSEELF.

 

Own who you are. No need to twist yourself like a pretzel in an attempt to get some chick you’ve been dating a mere three weeks to like you. Don’t change for anyone! Be you.

 

You want her to chase because that is what Corey Wayne says to do. Arghh!

 

What is he the freakin be-all-and-end-all of how to treat and relate to women?

 

NO!! Definitely not. EVERY WOMEN IS UNIQUE and will respond to different things. Please learn this and stop listening to 'dating" gurus like CW. They don’t “work” on everyone woman. They just don't.

 

What makes this worse is that you take his stuff as gospel and don’t even apply it correctly.

 

Face it you are just not compatible DE, sorry. Walk away before she does, which she WILL eventually, I could almost guaranty it.

 

So you are basically telling me to dump her after I spent every freaking weekend training her in ballroom since February, we have amazing sex, her parents love me, and she was blowing up my phone like crazy last week?

And because of these past 2 days she been in a kinda weird mood, walk off?

Because i am insecure and I need to learn how to handle relationships? Walk off?

[jessiesgurl]

So you are basically telling me to dump her after I spent every freaking weekend training her in ballroom since February, we have amazing sex, her parents love me, and she was blowing up my phone like crazy last week?

And because of these past 2 days she been in a kinda weird mood, walk off?

Because i am insecure and I need to learn how to handle relationships? Walk off?

 

Yes because if it were right between you, you wouldn't be on here, what is now four pages and counting, complaining about this **** and asking us for help as to what you should do in nearly every single interaction you have with her.

 

When things are right, it just flows. Naturally, almost effortlessly. Granted there may be some minor bumps, but NOTHING like what's happening here.

 

You know honestly, I am beginning to agree with what Bastile posted earlier.

 

That she sounds like a right mess, and/or is playing you and/or just not all that interested.

 

Take your pick.

 

In any event, I don't see this ending well. It's only been three weeks. Cut losses and move on to someone who gets you better and vice versa.

 

I'm sorry, again just my perspective based on everything you've posted. Feel free to ignore, I won't be offended.

Edited June 12, 2017 by jessiesgurl

[DancerEngineer]

Yes because if it were right between you, you wouldn't be on here, what is now four pages and counting, complaining about this **** and asking us for help as to what you should do in nearly every single interaction you have with her.

 

When things are right, it just flows. Naturally, almost effortlessly. Granted there may be some minor bumps, but NOTHING like what's happening here.

 

You know honestly, I am beginning to agree with what Bastile posted earlier.

 

That she sounds like a right mess, and/or is playing you and/or just not all that interested.

 

Take your pick.

 

In any event, I don't see this ending well. It's only been three weeks. Cut losses and move on to someone who gets you better and vice versa.

 

I'm sorry, again just my perspective based on everything you've posted. Feel free to ignore, I won't be offended.

 

I have thought of completely dumping this relationship and walking off. But the issue is. I have major anxiety disorder. It would be like this with anyone. So why walk off and not date and stay single forever? That's no fun.. I grew up very sheltered, and I have a lot of insecurities in relationships. I was thinking of just ditching relationships entirely, but I realize that i can't do that. No matter who I date, i will always have insecurities. I have to keep dating and do my best and seek advice and learn how to deal with my insecurities. I grew up so sheltered that I suck at relationships. That is why I am on here for help. All I know is engineering and school. Not how a women's mind thinks.

[Bastile]

You're just taking the whole thing far too serious. Stressing about every little thing.

 

It's actually hard for me to read. I've lost the plot. I think you've lost the plot too lol.

 

What's this about a Gekko? Carrying on like this is going to give you a heart attack.

 

RELAX. When women are stressing you out, just put down your phone, and turn on your Playstation. Play some Fifa or something. Go out with your mates, take your dog for a walk, or do something else that just takes your mind off of things, and helps you to chill out.

 

Mate, you got this girl into bed by ignoring her. Generally, those types of women are a constant pain, and not good for anything serious. You expect a tonne of push/pull in that situation.

 

Seriously, what do you expect?

 

Just stick her in the rotation, and keep dating around. You can do better for a ltr.

[JuneL]

I have thought of completely dumping this relationship and walking off. But the issue is. I have major anxiety disorder. It would be like this with anyone. So why walk off and not date and stay single forever? That's no fun.. I grew up very sheltered, and I have a lot of insecurities in relationships. I was thinking of just ditching relationships entirely, but I realize that i can't do that. No matter who I date, i will always have insecurities. I have to keep dating and do my best and seek advice and learn how to deal with my insecurities. I grew up so sheltered that I suck at relationships. That is why I am on here for help. All I know is engineering and school. Not how a women's mind thinks.

 

Dude, you seriously need to relax and chill out. In that case, you should just enjoy having a casual relationship with the girl and have the mindset of getting some experience.

[DancerEngineer]

You're just taking the whole thing far too serious. Stressing about every little thing.

 

It's actually hard for me to read. I've lost the plot. I think you've lost the plot too lol.

 

What's this about a Gekko? Carrying on like this is going to give you a heart attack.

 

RELAX. When women are stressing you out, just put down your phone, and turn on your Playstation. Play some Fifa or something. Go out with your mates, take your dog for a walk, or do something else that just takes your mind off of things, and helps you to chill out.

 

 

Thanks. This is the best advice I have gotten so far. I have an insecurity issue. And i am really OCD too. Last Sunday after we had sex and i dropped her off she was blowing up my phone non stop trying to hand with me every day. Now i am freaking over about her being a little distant since yesterday. maybe it's just hormonal for her and she needs time. idk. But I guess i have to just back off. She got a little insecure that i didn't invite me to one of my dance classes in the past, and then i invite her to it last night in a text and she still hasn't gotten back to me on it, so i guess I just have to lay back till she gets back to me.

maybe she is worried about not being able to afford it or there is something else that isn't isn't telling me about. I think the biggest thing I need to work on is being more secure. I suck at relationships and I need to stop being so insecure.

She simply responded to my text today from last night by just simply saying, "oh i need to go to bed earlier so i can wake up earlier."

had nothing to do with her schedule or availability like i asked her. So i'll take a step back and not respond to her text and just wait till she sends me something else asking to hang out or something. uhhhhh. -_-

Its frustrating. She was sooooooooooooo attached last every single freaking day last week. But then since yesterday her text are just very mellow. Maybe it is nothing. idk. But i'll take a step back.

[JuneL]

LOL I don't know what I am. It feels like we already are boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't get it. But we just never had the talk! I told her I was busy and was looking forward to seeing her Friday which I did see her Friday.

 

I also texted her last night with a "cool, well let me know when you find out your schedule and want to come to my swing dance class Thursday. I'm exhausted after this long day. nite."

Only for her to text me at lunch time today.

"i need to work on going to bed earlier, so i can wake up earlier. "

 

totally avoided the question. i don't get it. she said a few times how she wants me to bring her to more of my dance classes.

 

From the month of February till 3 weeks ago, we were just friends and I was training her to be my dance partner in a dance show. it was a Salsa, Rumba, Samba dance piece. Then only 3 weeks ago at the end of the dance show we started hooking up and blah blah blah.

 

So just ignore her text and wait for her to text me back with something better. And just go to my class on Thursday without her? LOL I offered! But she avoided it. Maybe there is a reason deep down she didn't respond. She is low on money and maybe thinks she will have to pay for the class or something. Or just isn't sure or something. But i have normally payed for her on stuff like this. ****. I even bought her dance shoes for the dance show before we started hooking up as a birthday present. I have a good job, and she only works once a week. So it's not an issue for me. I make a lot of money. But with that being said, I'm pretty sure she isn't just after my money. She started liking me before she started learning how much I make.

.....wtf. UGH!

So seems like the best aadvice i have now is to just back off?

 

What? You have been training her every single weekend for a few months?? That's 100x worse than cleaning her pet's cage, to be honest. You know what, I think she might have some romantic interest 3 weeks ago (and that why she ran back to you and even hooked up with you). But seriously, dude, maybe your being so uptight and boring and passive is making her doubt if you're a great romantic prospect. If I were you, I'd text her one more time and let her know you're bringing another partner to the dance class in case she can't make it, so you need to know either way. If you do see her again on a real date, tell her you'll be too busy to hang out further unless she becomes your girlfriend. Don't just hang out with her doing errands or other stuff for her anymore (that's the job for an orbiter).

 

Btw, do you have more fun and romantic things to do besides going to the gym or to the dance class together, or doing errands or other stuff for her? It seems that you've bypassed the dating/courting stage altogether.

Edited June 12, 2017 by JuneL

[DancerEngineer]

What? You have been training her every single weekend for a few months?? That's 100x worse than cleaning her pet's cage, to be honest. You know what, I think she might have some romantic interest 3 weeks ago (and that why she ran back to you and even hooked up with you). But seriously, dude, maybe your being so uptight and boring and passive is making her doubt if you're a great romantic prospect. If I were you, I'd text her one more time and let her know you're bringing another partner to the dance class in case she can't make it, so you need to know either way. If you do see her again on a real date, tell her you'll be too busy to hang out further unless she becomes your girlfriend. Don't just hang out with her doing errands or other stuff for her anymore (that's the job for an orbiter).

 

I first started training her in February. I only like her as a friend at the beginning, but it was obvious she always had interest. I kinda always liked her too, but i kept my feelings in because we were both dance partners in a show and I wanted to keep it at a professional level and avoid drama in the middle of the semester. This is the first time she has done any partner dancing, and I have been doing it a huge chunk of my life, so I was basically her mentor the entire semester.

It was for a dance show at a community college. We both graduated and have degrees. It's just a hobby.

 

But then we started hooking up and dating the last week of our show. Then the class ended. Ever since the class and show ended, we just been hanging out and dating, and hooking up and taking it to the next stage. I just have massive insecurity issues. And I don't know how to manage time with relationships and I dont' want to **** this up.

All i have ever wanted was a girl in my life who takes an interest in dancing just as I do. One who I enjoy hanging out with and have a lot of similar interest. I found her. I don't want to **** this up. if i do **** it up. I know it will be my insecurities ****ing it up.

Lost my virginity to her last Sunday. Then the entire week after she was blowing up my phone and asking to hang EVERY SINGLE DAY. Then i saw her Friday, and spent the night at her house and helped her start her website. She went off to work Saturday night. Sunday she text me just to say what's up.

I asked her how her availability was for this week, so i can train her in a new area of dance. Told her last night, "let me know when you find out your schedule and if you wanna com to my class. "

She told me she would get back to me today.

All I got was a text that said, "man i need to go to bed earlier so i can wake up earlier. "

 

I afraid that i wasn't available enough for her last week when she was constantly reaching out to me to hang out after we had sex. and maybe that lowered her attraction. idk. But what is funny is that the entire time she was blowing up my phone last week, all last week, I kept thinking she was losing interest, and now that I look back at it, she was going on full blown hard core trying to see me. I hope this is just my insecurity again.

[DancerEngineer]

 

Btw, do you have more fun and romantic things to do besides going to the gym or to the dance class together, or doing errands or other stuff for her? It seems that you've bypassed the dating/courting stage altogether.

 

Interesting point. And yeah, it already feels like we are in a relationship already, but she never gave us a label.

 

What do you think? What you have in mind. other than the times we have spent 5 hour sessions in bed even before I lost my virginity to her? When i lost my virginity to her, I took her down town San Diego, we went to a nigh club, went to fancy dinner, and got a fancy hotel room, and that was the night she told me she loved me.

What other thoughts you thinking? Can you elaborate? you thinking maybe she wants to do something other than just dancing which is why she didn't respond. Like she wants to still see me, but she sin't in the mood for dance lessons at the moment? I thought it would be a good step for her because this is a new area of partner dancing she hasn't learned yet.

 

She told me Friday that she saw wonder women and she wanted to see it again. hinting to me to take her out to see it again. That is why I asked her for her schedule. But she has a history in never knowing her schedule and always just randomly blowing my phone up at random times wanting to hang out on her terms. Like before we started hooking up a lot, I was in LA and I didn't contact her all day, she called me 8 times in the middle of the night on her way home from work freaking out till i picked up because she saw that i never contacted her. She was like having a massive panic attack. Then I finally picked up and was like, dude im trying to sleep and she was like, "can i come by and cudddle? "

This was like 2 weeks ago. But I didn't come over that night because I was sleeping, and I was in LA. WE both live in San Diego.

[DancerEngineer]

I also know she is very worried about money. Maybe she is afraid to commit to stuff like dance classes because she is afraid of money issues. But i have covered her a lot in the past, so idk what it could be.

**** i just need to chill the heck out, and back off till she starts blowing up my phone again and then come over to her and bang her or something. idk. probably the best move as of now.

[clia]

So basically last week she was blowing up my phone wanting to see me all the time and i was telling her i was busy. I hung with her Friday-Saturday.

 

Then after I sent her that text asking her for her availability, she texted me a couple hours later and just simply said, sorry for taking so long to respond. I'll get back to you tomorrow.

So I just said, "cool. let me know when you find out and wanna come to my swing dance class on Thursday. today was a long day. i'm off to bed nite" Which she has said she wanted to come to in the past.

 

Out of curiosity, I went and looked up Corey Wayne. I obviously didn't have time to ready his whole web site (or his book), but that text you sent is not following his advice at all.

 

She said she would get back to you. At the very most, you should've said "Ok." Or just ignored. Instead you gave her a dissertation and asked her out again. What I gathered from Corey Wayne is that you are supposed to play it cool. Not be needy. Not be insecure. You aren't doing that.

 

Then she just randomly text me today at lunch time and randomly says, "i think i need to go to bed earlier so i can get up earlier."

Totally avoided the question.

 

She may still get back to you. Who knows? But you should do nothing.

 

Go do something with your friends and stop overanalyzing all of this.

[jessiesgurl]

I also know she is very worried about money. Maybe she is afraid to commit to stuff like dance classes because she is afraid of money issues. But i have covered her a lot in the past, so idk what it could be.

**** i just need to chill the heck out, and back off till she starts blowing up my phone again and then come over to her and bang her or something. idk. probably the best move as of now.

 

Just out of curiosity, would you define "blowing up my phone"?

 

How many messages are we talking here, and within what period of time? To which you never responded?

 

If so, why didn't you respond? I mean you like the girl, correct? And want a RL with her?

 

I'm confused, thanks a bunch!

Edited June 12, 2017 by jessiesgurl

[DancerEngineer]

Out of curiosity, I went and looked up Corey Wayne. I obviously didn't have time to ready his whole web site (or his book), but that text you sent is not following his advice at all.

 

She said she would get back to you. At the very most, you should've said "Ok." Or just ignored. Instead you gave her a dissertation and asked her out again. What I gathered from Corey Wayne is that you are supposed to play it cool. Not be needy. Not be insecure. You aren't doing that.

 

 

That's what i did. i quoted coach Corey Wayne in the test last night.

"Cool, let me know when you figure it out and if you wanna come to my swing class. " He always says to respond with , "let me know when you figure it out."

Simple as that.

[DancerEngineer]

Just out of curiosity, would you define "blowing up my phone"?

 

How many messages are we talking here, and within what period of time? To which you never responded?

 

If so, why didn't you respond? I mean you like the girl, correct? And want a RL with her?

 

I'm confused, thanks a bunch!

 

Well lets see.

After i dropped her off at her house Monday and had to run to work.

 

Tuesday: she text me to come over. I came over while she cleaned her room to just spend time with her and listen to her. She was very thankful for that.

 

Wednesday: she wanted to get lunch with me at work, but I was busy and had to tell her sorry, I was too busy. Which i WAS busy!

Then that night i said sorry, about lunch but thanks for thinking of me that was sweet.

 

Thursday, she asked to drop by my place on her way home from dinner with some friends. But it was late and I was stuck in an important skype conference with some co workers on a research project. So I told her I was busy working with my co workers on a skype conference and I was really looking forward to seeing her the next day. Which I did!

 

Friday: I came over and it was Gym-> Boba -> Clean her geckos cage -> her made us a little food-> cuddle in her bed and watch a movie -> fall asleep in bed together in her room,but i had to set an alarm to move the the guest room as she lives at her parents house-> wake up -> cuddle -> eat lunch -> help her with her website logos and stuff -> cuddle on her bed watching a chick flick -> then she had to go to work.

 

She even said she felt like we got a lot done. She said, "I feel like we got a lot done. We went to the gym, cleaned the cage, watched our first movie together. :)"

Then she started texting me about the frustrations of her job that night.

Sunday: she just randomly asked how my day was. I told her. She said she was on a walk with her parents. Then i asked her for her weeks availability, then she took forever to respond and said she would let me know tomorrow which is today. Then i played it cool and said, "cool well let me know when you find out and if you wanna come to my swing class Thursday. Its been a long day night!"

 

Then all i get today at 11am was a text from her saying, "i need to go to bed earlier so i can wake up earlier. lol"

 

nothing about if she wants to hit my dance class or her schedule time.

 

So I never resounded. I am pulling back.

last week was so amazing. She was hitting me up EVERY DAY wanting to see me. But then her text we just mellow since yesterday. maybe it is nothing and it is simply my insecurity. IDK I know nothing of how to think about this.

What is really interesting is that I look back at last week and see how she was pursuing me every day, but every day last week, I kept thinking I was going to lose her. So maybe this week might turn out the same. I keep thinking she is going to walk off but she is really pursuing me. Because I have insecurity issues. I just don't know.

[DancerEngineer]

But you should do nothing.

 

Go do something with your friends and stop overanalyzing all of this.

 

This. I actually am diagnosed with OCD and Anxiety. it is my nature to over analyze everything. It is why I am an engineer and my love language is words. We think analytically and logically. Not emotionally.

Dam.....I already miss her...a lot... -_-

[jessiesgurl]

Okay I get it. By blowing up your phone and asking to see you, you essentially mean SHE is taking all the initiative.

 

Which is what you want her to do, what CW advises you to do, you want her to chase you.

 

While you sit back passively, reserving your right to blow off her invites without suggesting an alternative plan.

 

Which I could understand if you weren't that into her, but being that you are so into her, all I will say is.....

 

Good luck with that DE, wish you all the best with that approach, and hope it works out for ya.

Edited June 12, 2017 by jessiesgurl

[DancerEngineer]

Okay I get it. By blowing up your phone and asking to see you, you essentially mean SHE is taking all the initiative.

 

Which is what you want her to do, what CW advises you to do, you want her to chase you.

 

While you sit back passively, reserving your right to blow off her invites without suggesting an alternative plan.

 

Good luck with that DE, wish you all the best with that approach, and hope it works out for ya.

 

Are you going to give me advice or just snotty tell me I am ****ing up?

Because when I told her I couldn't see her that one night, I told her I was looking forward to seeing her the next day, so that was an alternative plan. And it worked out. And when I told her I couldn't see her Thursday night. I also said to her, "But I am really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night. :)"

 

I'm not trying to argue at all. I am seeking advice because I want to do what is right.