I told his wife

[crystalstevens]

xMM told me he had to work on his life, I said fine. Didn't hear from him for two months before I contacted him. I got no reply, another month passed by... I accidentally commented on a picture which he had replied to on social media. We were talking again for a good month.... until I said, enough is enough... our affair had gone from a pleasure to a hassle. I put an end to it... I told him I had far better things to prioritize and work on my marriage rather than wasting time.

 

And that's how it ended.

[RecentChange]

My husband found condoms in my purse.

[TheBathWater]

The woman I was seeing who was engaged had a loving, romantic, deep conversation with me one night/morning we spent together. I dropped her off at home and she said "I'll see you Sunday" and kissed me passionately.

 

Several hours later she texted me to say Sunday was up in the air because she had to confess to her fiancé again she'd still been seeing me. She couldn't take the guilt anymore.

 

I got an email from her in very straightforward tone with no feeling saying she wasn't going to be seeing me or him for about a month, that she would be in touch with me in a month, and that it was likely at that point she would want to be single completely and move away to be near family. No sentiment, no "I love you," nothing meaningful. Now I'm waiting her official rejection letter.

 

It is very likely I will never see her again.

 

One year of "the love of our lives" distilled down to an emotionless email that basically said it was almost certain we would never meet again. Just like that. Over.

[carhill]

End?

 

MW's BD, had her over for lunch, made a nice homemade pizza, looked her in the eyes and said goodbye. She was the one who had to drive the half hour home to the ranch. That was a serious and sad time. Things always seem more serious when one is young I guess.

 

We'd get a bit of a chuckle many, many years later when she was helping me paint my mom's house on the inside and I stuck a frozen pizza in the oven for something to eat. I said 'remember the last time I made you a pizza?'

 

She did.

 

 

That's life.

[MJJean]

A few of my affairs were ONS and naturally ended when we parted ways at the end of the evening.

 

A few were FWBs that naturally just faded away as life circumstances changed.

 

A few of my affairs I went ghost.

 

One affair ended when it transitioned from affair to marriage.

 

Regarding your child, OP, I say just take it to court, too. It's always best to have everything in writing and signed by a judge just in case someone decides to get difficult later.

[freengreen]

I wanted my life back, just a normal free and open life.

 

Thats how it ended.

[misspalmy]

ex mm will be coming down to do a dna test, i dont want to see him but needs to be done for my son, hes bring his wife down to, she better not say anything cos i will bring up the past what her and her husband did

 

she keeps going on how im going get my karma cos i hurt her i only told her the turth which he wouldnt had the guts to tell her, what about her husband he cheated on her i didnt. im single.

 

my karma is im solo mother and got my heart broken but shes to pig headed think shes only one got hurt lots people did.

Edited June 26, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed derogatory language

[misspalmy]

But isn't it your business to know if the person you're sleeping with is sleeping with and if they are using protection? It isnt just the married persons health they're jeopardizing....it's their clueless spouse too.

 

Not coming down on you just something to ponder......did you even think about that during the A?

 

the the married people should be looking after there own sexual heath, getting stds test once a year with smear test,

 

i say its like a car, if your getting ur car look at may as well get all the tests done make should its running right

[somanymistakes]

the the married people should be looking after there own sexual heath, getting stds test once a year with smear test,

 

so you think everyone should just assume their partners are liars and cheats all the time?

[somanymistakes]

You moved straight from one married man to another.

His brother.

And you got pregnant by both of them!

Yes, the MM behaved badly but you absolutely knew better. You had experience! Leave his wife alone for goodness sake.

[whichwayisup]

ex mm will be coming down to do a dna test, i dont want to see him but needs to be done for my son, hes bring his wife down to, she better not say anything cos i will bring up the past what her and her husband did

 

she keeps going on how im going get my karma cos i hurt her i only told her the turth which he wouldnt had the guts to tell her, what about her husband he cheated on her i didnt. im single.

 

my karma is im solo mother and got my heart broken but shes to pig headed think shes only one got hurt lots people did.

 

Respectfully, it's time for you to stop being angry at his wife and keep that anger at him. She didn't force you to have an A with her husband, that's on you and him. She's a victim in this and could be step mom to your child, so maybe consider getting along with her. Don't bring up anything, keep calm.

 

Please do counseling so you all can get along for the kids involved sake.

Edited June 26, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[lostgirl87]

I'm usually pretty open-minded and supportive of everyone on here especially OW/OM b/c I know a lot of the time, we didn't intend to be cruel or we allowed a good friendship to cross a line but I'm having a difficult time supporting some of the things you say.

 

Of course his wife is going to say things like that about you- you slept with her husband! After having an affair with his brother! And having children with both of them. In her eyes, b/c of your past experience, you're the problem here. No i don't think her H is innocent or a victim by any means but your behavior and your past does make it easier for them to paint you as the sterotypical evil crazy side piece. And I'm not saying that's what you are!

 

You didn't tell her the truth for any reason other than to hurt him and to hurt her. Why you want to purposely hurt the wife is beyond me. I'm an OW too and I did tell the wife about our affair but I never disclosed intimate details or anything that would be too hurtful for her. He told me a lot of personal things that if she knew, it would crush her even more. No im not trying to come off like im better than you but I want you to see that MM is the problem. Not his wife. If she wants to forgive him, that's on her. You continuing to involve yourself in their life is what led to her posting about you. And it doesn't help that MM clearly never loved or even respected you so we know he isn't exactly trying to defend you.

 

Do yourself a favor: get your DNA test, secure your child's support and let MM and his wife be. Let him know, without physically approaching him and his wife, that he is welcome to see his child and that a somewhat neutral 3rd party will help facilitate those visits so you 2 don't have to interact. You need to move on. Live and let live. Be strong and a good example to your children. Remember, kids are always watching and your behavior and way of life will shape the people they become.

[BaileyB]

Respectfully, you've made some very poor decisions for your life. People who live in glass houses shouldn't really be throwing stones.

[misspalmy]

You moved straight from one married man to another.

His brother.

And you got pregnant by both of them!

Yes, the MM behaved badly but you absolutely knew better. You had experience! Leave his wife alone for goodness sake.

 

shes no angel, shes cheated on her ex and did the same to his ex wife, only diff is his last ex had no kids and she does. we plan this baby he wanted more kids and so did i. i could care less if hes in the picture or not hes useless anyway,

[misspalmy]

I'm usually pretty open-minded and supportive of everyone on here especially OW/OM b/c I know a lot of the time, we didn't intend to be cruel or we allowed a good friendship to cross a line but I'm having a difficult time supporting some of the things you say.

 

Of course his wife is going to say things like that about you- you slept with her husband! After having an affair with his brother! And having children with both of them. In her eyes, b/c of your past experience, you're the problem here. No i don't think her H is innocent or a victim by any means but your behavior and your past does make it easier for them to paint you as the sterotypical evil crazy side piece. And I'm not saying that's what you are!

 

You didn't tell her the truth for any reason other than to hurt him and to hurt her. Why you want to purposely hurt the wife is beyond me. I'm an OW too and I did tell the wife about our affair but I never disclosed intimate details or anything that would be too hurtful for her. He told me a lot of personal things that if she knew, it would crush her even more. No im not trying to come off like im better than you but I want you to see that MM is the problem. Not his wife. If she wants to forgive him, that's on her. You continuing to involve yourself in their life is what led to her posting about you. And it doesn't help that MM clearly never loved or even respected you so we know he isn't exactly trying to defend you.

 

Do yourself a favor: get your DNA test, secure your child's support and let MM and his wife be. Let him know, without physically approaching him and his wife, that he is welcome to see his child and that a somewhat neutral 3rd party will help facilitate those visits so you 2 don't have to interact. You need to move on. Live and let live. Be strong and a good example to your children. Remember, kids are always watching and your behavior and way of life will shape the people they become.

 

i told her to free myself of his lies. nothing to do with him

[misspalmy]

so you think everyone should just assume their partners are liars and cheats all the time?

 

no just do std test with smears tests

[Doublegold]

No but to leave out the fact that one was an OM/OW is wrong.

For some people that is a deal breaker. And, if that fact was made

known they would not pursue a relationship with someone that

was an AP.

 

 

I suppose some would like the participating AP to wear the letter O, forever marked as 'the other', used goods or not worthy of any future relationship(s).

 

That would be acceptable; as long as the wayward, wandering spouse wears a big Scarlet Letter A. Many would be shocked at how many "A's" are walking around.

 

That way any 'future relationship material' will be duly warned, and the offending spouse is seen by all for what they are.

 

An adulter.

Edited June 26, 2017 by Doublegold

[aileD]

shes no angel, shes cheated on her ex and did the same to his ex wife, only diff is his last ex had no kids and she does. we plan this baby he wanted more kids and so did i. i could care less if hes in the picture or not hes useless anyway,

 

Which has nothing to do with you.

 

You should stop worrying about other people's character and start worrying about our own. You need some serious internal and personal work .

[BreakingWave]

However if you develop a serious relationship witha single man at some point you will be asked about your romantic history. And that history will contain an inexplicable gap unless you tell him something less than the full truth.

 

While I am all for being honest about one's past when it looks like a new relationship is going to become serious - in other words, when it's appropriate to talk about the past - I have legitimate "and then I was single for a few years" spaces on my romantic history. I don't think it's like jobs, where you're not supposed to have any breaks in between engagements.

[BTDT2012]

ex mm will be coming down to do a dna test, i dont want to see him but needs to be done for my son, hes bring his wife down to, she better not say anything cos i will bring up the past what her and her husband did

 

she keeps going on how im going get my karma cos i hurt her i only told her the turth which he wouldnt had the guts to tell her, what about her husband he cheated on her i didnt. im single.

 

my karma is im solo mother and got my heart broken but shes to pig headed think shes only one got hurt lots people did.

 

And she is the one that had no part in the decision making process that caused her hurt.

[stillafool]

shes no angel, shes cheated on her ex and did the same to his ex wife, only diff is his last ex had no kids and she does. we plan this baby he wanted more kids and so did i. i could care less if hes in the picture or not hes useless anyway,

 

At least he thought enough of her to marry her and not just have her have his baby. How many more of his kids are you going to have?

[misspalmy]

At least he thought enough of her to marry her and not just have her have his baby. How many more of his kids are you going to have?

 

she did get pregnant to him after she met, she trap him, now if she ends it hes loses his half of everything and she wont let him see his kids like she does her ex husband and there child.

[Bufo]

Nothing to provide emotional support or solutions here

 

Start thinking about the child. This means seeing a lawyer and starting a paternity suit. For decree of paternity (I.e.he is the father) which will involve DNA testing and a decree for support.

 

It doesn't matter that he wants no involvement in the child's life.

 

It does matter very much, however, should something bad ( disability or death ) happen to you,where you cannot support the child.

 

Sorry for the 2 x 4 but good wishes and hopes do not insure a good outcome. Thinking "what if" can help. You owe this to the child. You owe MM nothing.

[misspalmy]

Nothing to provide emotional support or solutions here

 

Start thinking about the child. This means seeing a lawyer and starting a paternity suit. For decree of paternity (I.e.he is the father) which will involve DNA testing and a decree for support.

 

It doesn't matter that he wants no involvement in the child's life.

 

It does matter very much, however, should something bad ( disability or death ) happen to you,where you cannot support the child.

 

Sorry for the 2 x 4 but good wishes and hopes do not insure a good outcome. Thinking "what if" can help. You owe this to the child. You owe MM nothing.

 

he play me said he was paying for the dna test never show up. wait a hour. wouldnt be bad if it was winter and baby was risk getting a cold at lab

[misspalmy]

so i went to get a dna test yesterday, ex mm was going pay for it. never show up turns out his wife made the appt and made fake fb. then rings me acting crazy with mm in back ground not saying anything blaming me for the affair, gee cant he man up. shes a control freak can see why he cheated on her.

 

some people will never wake up to cheaters