lostgirl87 Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 so i went to get a dna test yesterday, ex mm was going pay for it. never show up turns out his wife made the appt and made fake fb. then rings me acting crazy with mm in back ground not saying anything blaming me for the affair, gee cant he man up. shes a control freak can see why he cheated on her. some people will never wake up to cheaters Just go to court. They'll order the DNA test for legitimization and go from there. Don't waste your time reaching out to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted June 27, 2017 Author Share Posted June 27, 2017 Just go to court. They'll order the DNA test for legitimization and go from there. Don't waste your time reaching out to them. i am now. he could have did it the easy way Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 (edited) she did get pregnant to him after she met, she trap him, now if she ends it hes loses his half of everything and she wont let him see his kids like she does her ex husband and there child. Still, he chose to marry HER he didn't have to because the baby was still going to come as did yours. Plus she can't keep him from seeing his kids if he had court ordered visitation. Just like you can't. Edited June 28, 2017 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 Still, he chose to marry HER he didn't have to because the baby was still going to come as did yours. Plus she can't keep him from seeing his kids if he had court ordered visitation. Just like you can't. shes crazy i wont let her near my son, he can see the baby, but no way is she, affair baby and step from are not a good mix she will abuse him Link to post Share on other sites
independentwoman Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Unless you can prove she is abusive, you won't have a choice, you won't be able to dictate what happens when he is on his dad's time. Unfortunately that's part of the price of having a child with a married man. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted June 29, 2017 Author Share Posted June 29, 2017 laws are diff over here, he gave me a ring, do think i should sell it? Link to post Share on other sites
ice3784 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 they will always choosing their wife..its like we are someone just passing by, they kind of fixated that with or without us, thats who they should spend their life with...my affair was exposed, the W left, and after a year, she came back. and now they are together , but of course with a lie that me and my MM are no longer together. But the truth is we are still together physically and even closer as during the period that the W left, i was introduced to the family and taken as the wife by many. I just let it be cos i do not know how to fix this anymore. I cant leave cos they are part of me and part of my family. I sometimes wish the wife know this.... Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 they will always choosing their wife..its like we are someone just passing by, they kind of fixated that with or without us, thats who they should spend their life with...my affair was exposed, the W left, and after a year, she came back. and now they are together , but of course with a lie that me and my MM are no longer together. But the truth is we are still together physically and even closer as during the period that the W left, i was introduced to the family and taken as the wife by many. I just let it be cos i do not know how to fix this anymore. I cant leave cos they are part of me and part of my family. I sometimes wish the wife know this.... This is so sad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 (edited) laws are diff over here, he gave me a ring, do think i should sell it? Definitely! Do whatever you have to do to support that baby. How are the laws different regarding visitation rights over there? Edited June 30, 2017 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 shes crazy i wont let her near my son, he can see the baby, but no way is she, affair baby and step from are not a good mix she will abuse him It isn't going to be up to you. It will come form a judge, and your best bet for now is to keep your head down. Anything you do that could be seen as a negative could end up being used against you, and besides, that sort of stress isn't good for a new mom. Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 Definitely! Do whatever you have to do to support that baby. How are the laws different regarding visitation rights over there? It depends on why he gave you the ring. If he said it was for an engagement, it may well not be legal for you to sell it or even keep it, if he asks for it back. If it was just a gift, sell it and put the money towards your child's college fund. Link to post Share on other sites
springy Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 some people will never wake up to cheaters Isn't that the truth... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 they will always choosing their wife..its like we are someone just passing by, they kind of fixated that with or without us, thats who they should spend their life with...my affair was exposed, the W left, and after a year, she came back. and now they are together , but of course with a lie that me and my MM are no longer together. But the truth is we are still together physically and even closer as during the period that the W left, i was introduced to the family and taken as the wife by many. I just let it be cos i do not know how to fix this anymore. I cant leave cos they are part of me and part of my family. I sometimes wish the wife know this.... I yhink some stay with the cheater cos of money, they are better off with the cheater than alone. but are they really happy and trust them again. i couldnt take a cheater bk. its diff being the ow Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 It depends on why he gave you the ring. If he said it was for an engagement, it may well not be legal for you to sell it or even keep it, if he asks for it back. If it was just a gift, sell it and put the money towards your child's college fund. just a love ring. cheap thing but better than dumping it Link to post Share on other sites
independentwoman Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 I yhink some stay with the cheater cos of money, they are better off with the cheater than alone. but are they really happy and trust them again. i couldnt take a cheater bk. its diff being the ow You are with a cheater when you're the ow. You're telling yourself it's different but it isn't. He's lying to you just as he's lying to his wife. I've never heard of a country that dictated how visitation went, or didn't allow the dad to have unsupervised visits (unless proven that he's not capable). If he has unsupervised visits the wife will be allowed to see the child. Just best hope they don't go for full custody or something like that, it happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 shes crazy i wont let her near my son, he can see the baby, but no way is she, affair baby and step from are not a good mix she will abuse him You're reaching here. She has children and is a mother herself. I highly doubt she's going to abuse a child, let alone a baby! I know you hate her and want to think the worst of her but if you extended an olive branch maybe it would go a long way towards her. The beef you have is with her husband, your exMM. She isn't the driving force here, he is. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 1, 2017 Share Posted July 1, 2017 MP #81 he gave me a ring, do think i should sell it? I don't see why not. In UK if a man make a promise of marriage to a woman while still legally married himself, it counts for nothing. You're going to need all the dosh you can get your hands on if you're going to be a single mother. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 1, 2017 Author Share Posted July 1, 2017 You're reaching here. She has children and is a mother herself. I highly doubt she's going to abuse a child, let alone a baby! I know you hate her and want to think the worst of her but if you extended an olive branch maybe it would go a long way towards her. The beef you have is with her husband, your exMM. She isn't the driving force here, he is. she rings me up blaming me, yet he sits there in back ground not saying nothing, it takes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 This is why you have to see a lawyer and start formal paternity action. He can promise you to appear for testing but there is no way outside of a court order for paternity testing that you can force him to do so. If he fails to appear for court-ordered testing the judge could jail him until he does or find him the father by default. A support order will follow Which unlike a promise can be legally enforced. This protecting the child financially. Believe me. His wife knows these things. She hopes you'll give up in frustration. Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 2, 2017 Author Share Posted July 2, 2017 This is why you have to see a lawyer and start formal paternity action. He can promise you to appear for testing but there is no way outside of a court order for paternity testing that you can force him to do so. If he fails to appear for court-ordered testing the judge could jail him until he does or find him the father by default. A support order will follow Which unlike a promise can be legally enforced. This protecting the child financially. Believe me. His wife knows these things. She hopes you'll give up in frustration. i wont give up them losing money to my son makes me happy. i could have made c/s cheaper for them if he man up Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 i wont give up them losing money to my son makes me happy. i could have made c/s cheaper for them if he man up You're expecting too much from him by expecting him to 'man up'. A man who has an affair like this, isn't really the kind of man to man up. Otherwise he'd have done the right thing a long time ago. Concentrate on your son and leave them to sort out their marriage. You have children who are siblings and cousins... I think you have enough to deal with bearing that in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
wmacbride Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 i wont give up them losing money to my son makes me happy. i could have made c/s cheaper for them if he man up This is the thing. These issues will not be up to you. They will be up to a judge who will take all the pertinent information into consideration before making a decision. A judge will set child support, custody arrangements,visitation schedules and everything else. In your case, it might actually be for the best. Get the legal stipulations in place and then all of you can move on, doing what's best for all the children involved, including the ones he has with his wife. Remember... he is your child's father, and his and his wife's children are your child's siblings. It's best if you can all get along, and if that means you have to eat some crow because it will be what is best for your child,so be it. It might be painful at the time, but once you see it helps your child have a happy life, it will be a whole lot easier. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 2, 2017 Share Posted July 2, 2017 Oh em gee....this is quite the disaster. You're blaming his wife like she's the crazy one but you've brought this drama on yourself. A judge probably won't keep her from seeing your children since she is the mother of your own children's siblings and cousins. I doubt that a judge will break up a family although most of the grown-ups in this scenario seem inclined to do so. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author misspalmy Posted July 4, 2017 Author Share Posted July 4, 2017 Oh em gee....this is quite the disaster. You're blaming his wife like she's the crazy one but you've brought this drama on yourself. A judge probably won't keep her from seeing your children since she is the mother of your own children's siblings and cousins. I doubt that a judge will break up a family although most of the grown-ups in this scenario seem inclined to do so. what kind of woman sets up at appt for me to get dna test at a lab. taking a baby out in winter as a sick joke, thats not payback she put the baby at risk getting sick when he wasnt getting it down, anyway i have move on from him i dont hardly think of him now, he is nothing but a lair and she can clean up after him and shes got deal with his snoring and lairing I cant stand snoring i like my sleep to much, Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 what kind of woman sets up at appt for me to get dna test at a lab. taking a baby out in winter as a sick joke, The kind of woman who's family has spiraled out of control because her husband had sex with OW and the OW decided to keep the baby. You had choice in this - she did not. You are giving her every woman's worst nightmare. If she can prove that he's not the father, you will be out of her life IMMEDIATELY and this will be a win for you all. Given your past sexual choices, it's more than fair for her to assume that the child's father could be any one of many men out there. But if he is proved to be the father, she can start taking the legal steps to sort out access and other financial considerations. She needs to know. If Nordic people can take their babies out in cold weather, so can you. You chose to put yourself in this situation, so you'd better toughen up. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
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