LDR Serious problems

[Dija]

Hi

 

i am madly in love with a guy from last 2 years. he is 2 yrs younger to me. kind of play boy type he was. but when we became frds my parents passed away and he was with me. we both became emotionally attached bt din realise it was love until a time came when he left me saying i lie to him and he cant take it..that was the time when my fam was looking for a proposal for me. i always knew i love him bt never said with a fear of being rejected as he is young and we pakistanis dont usually marry any elder women. anyhow he left and came back after 3 months apolgizing and tellin how much he missed me. i became crazy when he left me though i went on with the proposal where my fam fixed me. i tried to move on but i couldnt. then when he returned i was happy but i thoughht of not falling again.but i failed. meanwhile i went to oman to meet him because i wanted to finish off everything after ths meet. but upon returning i felt i love him even more. i eneded up my engagement because i realized it wud b unfair to marry someone whom i cant love. den i decided to talk to him upon which he said he is too young he cant marry hez not settled etc etc. i stayed quiet and lost all hope. infact i lost myself too but i still kept myself strong. i got engaged at one more placr where my fam fixed me but due to some reasons again it did not happen. den i went to oman for office work for 4 days where i met him again we had nice time together. i caught one of his chats where before he returned he flirted with a girl he met in another country. i got mad but upon realizing that its okay its a past. its the time when i was not der i forgave him and never repeated anythng. i tried to comfort him dat i love him and trust hm. when i returned from oman unexpectedly he came forward and proposed me for marriage i was shocked. and happy too. den i spoke in my fam and they agreed and he spoke in his fam where his mother agreed as father is not alive. however, as his fatherss brother raised him up. he got an issue with cast which my guy said he wud deal once he lands up to pak on eid. i talk frequently to his mother and she likes me alot. on the other side. this guy is very posessiv and i did all that i cud to comfort him. to lessen his insecurities ,..tell him everythng as him abt everythin...he has a habit of not talkin when he is disturbed and he stays so for couple of days until finally he wud tell me what hap. this habbit of stayin quiet for days without sayin anything annoys me alot as i go mad overthinkin wat hap. den if i get angry he says i am acting wierd. i accept that he is a bit immature but i did all i cud..to make him hapy. recently i uploaded my half face pic on insta just to add my female frds to let them know its me. thugh my insta profie is pvt he still got angry sayin u did wat i dont like u know am posesive etc etc i apologized and removed the pic. and later aftr 7 days with same attitude...i was hurt alt. i had a event to attend at 9:00 pm whch i thought i wudnt go s he doesnt like but after 10 days of continous wierd attitude i thought i will go to relax myself for some time...i left and due to overthinkin i met with an accident..i called him he didnt pic i sent him a voice msg he din read. aftr 2 hrs he started callin me bt i was angry and i didnt pick upon which he caled at my home and my brother told him shez gone for the event where he got more angry. he called me i told him i din go to event i had to leave in emergency to my sister. but he din listen n he broke off. i was so broken that he left me again for such a silly issue. i came home crying. my elder sis spoke to him and he said no its not break up but i manipulate things and that he needs time to think. i felt so so so bad that he has this sort of thoughts. a person whom i loved with heart and soul thnks this. or may be hez trying to cover his ass after the blunder he did. everytime anythin hap i used to go behind him sayin sorry and all. but this time my fam was involved which ultimately gave him a sign that the mater is srs. however, he told my sis he blocked me from everywhere and that he will contact me himself. and today mornin i saw him he unblocked me with a dp " what i dont understand is how ppl lie so often and dont feel bad about it".. i did feel bad as i dont want a relation where he doesnt trust me though he doesnt have any reason to do so. but i am not sure if he really means it or it is just attention seekin thing as he is a leo and am a sagi.he has started this blcking and unblockng things. plz guide. what could it be and what it shud be. i love him love him alot. and am ready to take on all posesivness but not without trust. hez 25 and am 28. kindly help.

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry about the deaths of your parents. I'm glad you have other family to lean on.

 

 

This man does not want to marry you. Given the fact that its outside the cultural norm for a man to marry an older woman, this will probably never happen for you. Moreover, since you mentioned two other men your family has gotten you engaged to & 2 times you broke the engagements, I assume arranged marriage is the norm where you are. That means his family will eventually pick his wife. Have you spoken to your brother about your preference for this guy? Is your family willing to try to arrange a marriage for you to him? If not, you probably have to give up.